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What the hell is she doing?! Man, get your balls in a fist and tell her what's wrong with her! It seems like such a small thing to me, but she's pissing me off!
I take it that your problem extends not only to food, but to other aspects of life too. The right thing to do would be to figure out who likes what and buy/do what each of you likes. Like if she likes vegetarian food or Asian food, let them have that and you get steaks or burgers or whatever you like and that's it. Divide and conquer! It's the only peaceful way out.
Whatever, even if she ordered Asian food without your knowledge, go to the waiter and order what you want, and take the leftovers to your home. This will be the first step towards defending your personal boundaries. Patience and good luck to you!
Honestly it's very scary to be the person she speaks for without being present when she says it....
Have you ever encountered someone who gets their way by speaking on behalf of someone else (who is usually not present)?
My MIL is use to controlling everything and having her way all the time (even when we're paying). If you question this or try to modify the plan, she will invoke someone else's name and say that this third party wouldn't want that. But the reality is she is just making it all up and using it as a way to shut down your suggestion, and make you feel like you are being rude or unfair to the third party, for even considering the idea.
An example would be me asking to get burgers or steak instead of eating Asian food for the 14th time in a row. MIL would get a disgusted look on her face and tell me in a stern tone that her DIL wouldn't want that. Her Son/DIL don't pay for anything. In fact we have to pay for 1/2 of every bill, so we are paying for us and 1/2 for her DIL, her son (the father) and their 3 kids.
So in one fell swoop, she gets her way, shuts down any further discussion on the matter and I come off looking like I'm insensitive for even making the suggestion. No one is a vegetarian or anything and I'm sure all the men in the family would enjoy a steak meal once in a while. It's really just her that doesn't want to eat there... or more to the point she can't have anyone challenging her. She is the one, the only one, that makes the decisions, everyone else is just along for the ride. Oh, and there WILL be retaliation for breaking rank. It's why everyone else in the family plays along, they know the consequences, should they support my suggestion.
BTW, I'm not looking for advice on what to do. I'm just curious how common this behavior is.
I'm not big on telling people off, but I say "Do It." She needs to be put in her place, and everyone else needs to grow a new coat of skin and stand up to her. She will stop this behavior as soon as yall quit allowing it.
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