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Great post! The parents need a wake-up call, like a recommendation for a psych eval would (or should) produce. Hopefully the parents wouldn't dismiss it and defend their hellion.
And the bolded is beyond worrisome; it's dangerous! I hope the parents don't get a very different, far more serious and potentially tragic wakeup call as a result of that type of behavior outside the house. It almost seems like she'd never been outside the home and backyard before, but she must have, because she knew where the child next door lives.
Sounds like maybe she's been let outside before but never actually taken outside and supervised. If the child is this impulsive one would think that her parents would have warned Grandpa to keep a tight hold on her hand as she might dart off. Better, yet, one of the parents should have gone along to help Grandpa ride herd on this child.
Sounds like maybe she's been let outside before but never actually taken outside and supervised. If the child is this impulsive one would think that her parents would have warned Grandpa to keep a tight hold on her hand as she might dart off. Better, yet, one of the parents should have gone along to help Grandpa ride herd on this child.
Another insightful post! This poor kid;I get the impression she's basically been abandoned (for years!) by her parents in terms of parenting.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 3 days ago)
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Every child sometimes breaks things, or peels crayons, and breaks them, or colors in books or tears pages out on rare occasions.
It sounds like she does his all the time - that she virtually never sits and colors, or plays carefully with her toys and then puts them away.
Add that she's a bit oppositional and snotty to adults, and runs into the street, I really think they're at least dealing with a "strong willed child" that will need to be parented differently from the average child.
Every child sometimes breaks things, or peels crayons, and breaks them, or colors in books or tears pages out on rare occasions.
I have to disagree here. "Every child" does not sometimes break things, except by accident. The OP clearly described deliberate breakage; stomping on plastic toys to crush them, and so on. Accidentally breaking crayons happens. Deliberately trashing a box of crayons is very uncommon. It's so odd that she deliberately ruins her own toys. I wonder if it's her way of protesting the lack of boundaries, or OTOH, it could be a bid for attention from parents who withdraw daily to their screens and other activities, as the OP described.
Or as some posters have suggested, the behavior could be due to a neurological condition. Having the child evaluated by a professional is a great idea.There could be several different factors at play in this case.
Every child sometimes breaks things, or peels crayons, and breaks them, or colors in books or tears pages out on rare occasions.
It sounds like she does his all the time - that she virtually never sits and colors, or plays carefully with her toys and then puts them away.
Add that she's a bit oppositional and snotty to adults, and runs into the street, I really think they're at least dealing with a "strong willed child" that will need to be parented differently from the average child.
Agreed. The strong willed children need more supervision because they're not going to be as obedient and compliant and teachable as "normal" children.
As grandparents, when we take any of the grandkids to our house, we spend more one on one time with them than the parents can. "We don't do that at Grandma's house" is a common phrase when they misbehave or push limits. We have clean up rules. There are areas in the house that are for grown ups only and you can't touch those things or go there. We try to keep the house calm and relaxing and then go outside or to the park to tire them out.
We want the children to grow up into nice adults so we do what we can to help. We love them, even the hard ones.
Sounds like the 4-yr old hasn't received any discipline or limits placed on destructive behavior. It's anyone's guess if she actually has psychological problems. Not a bad idea to have an evaluation conducted and some intervention. Otherwise, she will be one of the troubled kids that no one really wants to be around.
This sounds more like poor parenting to me and that the OP could, if she wanted to, have a conversation with her daughter and the childrens' father about it, although the 18 month old is still kinda young. (and OP it doesn't matter if you taught your daughter differently. At all - apparently she is not being successful at parenting.)
I know I wouldn't put up with it if I were the grandparent and they were behaving like this in my home. OP's choice if she wants to deal with it at THEIR home. But what a situation to be put in. Are the parents' okay with the OP disciplining the child (I'll bet not) and, if not, I don't know why Grandma would want to deal with this drama. This is not 'fun' playing with grandchildren. It's dealing with little monsters. UGH.
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This poor kid;I get the impression she's basically been abandoned (for years!) by her parents in terms of parenting.
