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Our daughter is expecting our first grandchild soon. A girl. Son-in-law has come up with ‘rules’ that we and others in the family feel are strange. And sadly, our daughter has apparently agreed to these rules.
I should say that both sets of grandparents live about 700 miles away.
*FIRST; when the grand parents come to visit from out of state, we will no longer be allowed to stay at the kids' house. We all must stay at a hotel/motel.
*SECOND; no one will be allowed to visit for at least two weeks after the baby comes home.
*THIRD; when the grandparents DO come to visit, we must have a long list of shots, including Flu vaccine and TDAP (?) shot. (I get extremely sick off the flu vax, and doctor advised not to get the yearly flu shot.)
*FOURTH; for at least the first three months that the baby is home, everyone must wear a mask in the house.
*FIFTH; no one will be allowed to hold the baby.
*SIX; absolutely NO pictures taken of the baby, which includes no pictures of the baby posted on social media, and no telling anyone that the baby is here and what her name is. We were not even allowed to tell family and friends that our daughter is expecting.
*SEVEN; when they do take the baby out for a walk, the stroller will be covered so that no one will be able to see the baby. SIL says, “No outside of immediate family deserves to see our baby”.
*EIGHT; when the grand parents are allowed to come visit the new baby, when the baby is sleeping, everyone must vacate the house until texted that the baby is now awake.
I am sure there are other ‘rules’ that we have not yet been told about.
We have never heard of such absurd rules.
What can son-in-law be thinking?
All four grandparents want to be a part of our granddaughter's life, and want to be proud grandparents, but this has taken the joy out of the occasion.
Some of these rules seem aimed at addressing baby health and immune system concerns. That's the parents' prerogative. Would it really be that difficult to simply wait a few months before visiting?
Our daughter is expecting our first grandchild soon. A girl. Son-in-law has come up with ‘rules’ that we and others in the family feel are strange. And sadly, our daughter has apparently agreed to these rules.
I should say that both sets of grandparents live about 700 miles away.
*FIRST; when the grand parents come to visit from out of state, we will no longer be allowed to stay at the kids' house. We all must stay at a hotel/motel.
*SECOND; no one will be allowed to visit for at least two weeks after the baby comes home.
*THIRD; when the grandparents DO come to visit, we must have a long list of shots, including Flu vaccine and TDAP (?) shot. (I get extremely sick off the flu vax, and doctor advised not to get the yearly flu shot.)
*FOURTH; for at least the first three months that the baby is home, everyone must wear a mask in the house.
*FIFTH; no one will be allowed to hold the baby.
*SIX; absolutely NO pictures taken of the baby, which includes no pictures of the baby posted on social media, and no telling anyone that the baby is here and what her name is. We were not even allowed to tell family and friends that our daughter is expecting.
*SEVEN; when they do take the baby out for a walk, the stroller will be covered so that no one will be able to see the baby. SIL says, “No outside of immediate family deserves to see our baby”.
*EIGHT; when the grand parents are allowed to come visit the new baby, when the baby is sleeping, everyone must vacate the house until texted that the baby is now awake.
I am sure there are other ‘rules’ that we have not yet been told about.
We have never heard of such absurd rules.
What can son-in-law be thinking?
All four grandparents want to be a part of our granddaughter's life, and want to be proud grandparents, but this has taken the joy out of the occasion.
Are they planning on keeping this kid isolated for life or are these rules only for during her infancy?
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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I'm sorry to hear of this difficult attack on what should be a very happy time.
I feel sorry for the kid, who is apparently going to live in a virtual bubble. The exposure to family and friends at an early age helps develop immunities. More importantly, though, is the fact that this person has actually set up formal rules for visiting, especially when they are so far away, and visiting has a high cost for you. When our two were born, we visited at the hospital the day of the births, no masks. With covid now that is one rule that might actually make sense for the first few months, but I foresee a very controlling, over-protective father developing.
Wind the kid up in bubble wrap and plop an astronaut helmet on her.
Jesus, what a piece of work this guy is. Good Lord. No wonder today's kids are such a mess.
Send a gift and be done with it. Year one, year two, etc.: lather, rinse, repeat.
Let's be honest here, some people just literally suck the joy out of life.
*SEVEN; when they do take the baby out for a walk, the stroller will be covered so that no one will be able to see the baby. SIL says, “No outside of immediate family deserves to see our baby”.
Is that literally what your son in law said?
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The first five are health related and may be a bit stringent, but understandable with a first child. New parents worry over minute things.
Six and seven... are these people celebrities, or follow celebrity trends? Different culture? Seems excessive.
Eight is a little odd, but perhaps mom plans to nap while new baby is also sleeping, if so it makes total sense to me.
These are your daughters and son-in-law's rules. Period. Even if he came up with them, she is agreeing to them, so they are THEIR rules. They are allowed to have their rules for visiting the house and your grandchild. Abide, or don't see the baby.
Many, many, many couples get very protective and "crazy" when the first one arrives. My guess is most of these will end soon enough.
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