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If your son didn't drink in college, that was HIS CHOICE, as alcohol is readily available.
No sympathy is warranted for that... no one cares but you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thtltwatw
whenever I tell people about how my son will be graduating this spring after 5 years while he had to watch all his friends graduate last spring, it gets brushed off by everyone
Yeah, because it is a non-issue.
I seriously doubt he had zero friends on campus during his fifth year.
Why are you making a big deal out of this?
Be happy he is graduating!
I'm not comparing being left out of graduation to third world problems; I'm only comparing it to being left out of bar-hopping. I can understand not having sympathy for people in either situation, but it makes no sense to think that the latter warrants sympathy, but not the former.
Well, first of, the basic premise makes no sense. Why or who would have sympathy for someone not going bar hopping? You can still go, eat, and be the designated driver. Nothing is keeping you from going with friends. If these friends only go to get drunk, you need better quality friends.
Why does this issue bother you and "your son" so much? Still trying to hang out with high school friends? No one cares that it takes 5 years to graduate. Why feel any shame at all?
Again, this raises the question of being prepared for going off to a job after graduation. No one there will know your son's past. No one will know whether he did or didn't take 5 years to graduate. No will know or care if he did or didn't go bar hopping or sneak a drink before 21.
You know, MOST parents of college-age kids, are too busy hoping the kids WON'T throw away their futures, by partying/drugging/drinking/wasting time/having unwise sex with inappropriate people... to ever get to around to worrying about whether or not the kids are "left-out", in the bar-hopping scene.
I've never, ever, even once, heard anyone worrying about the dilemma described in the Original Post. EVER.
For us, it was worrying about the kids getting into/through their chosen degree programs. We worried that they might fall asleep at the wheel, during grueling periods in their exam weeks/internships/residencies. We worried about their getting cancer or crippling Meningitis or Sepsis, due to exhaustion. We worried about Sleep Deprivation Psychosis causing suicide.
What I don't understand is why it's understandable to feel left out when your friends go to bars without you, but not when your friends graduate without you.
I didn't drink at all when I was in college. After I graduated, I started bar hopping with some friends for a few months.
Then I quit doing that after I got bored with it. Not my thing I guess.
I don't know anyone who was underage let that stop them from drinking. When I was in college, there were quite a few students with fake ID's. It's harder to have a fake ID these days so college towns have more places for underage kids to hang out. Currently, the hard part of being under 21 is not being able to rent a hotel room. Hotel rooms are needed when you go to school conferences.
It took my 6 years to graduate, as I did a lot of partying and skipped class a lot (not my proudest moment). But all of the people I started college with either dropped out or graduated before me. I never once gave this ANY thought until I saw this post. Never once would I expect sympathy from anyone. Such an extremely weird post.
I don't know anyone who was underage let that stop them from drinking. When I was in college, there were quite a few students with fake ID's. It's harder to have a fake ID these days so college towns have more places for underage kids to hang out. Currently, the hard part of being under 21 is not being able to rent a hotel room. Hotel rooms are needed when you go to school conferences.
I also didn't know anyone upset about friends graduating first. As I mentioned earlier, this thread echoes a couple from two or three years ago except it was from the perspective of the student. Almost word for word with the rationale.
I've heard lots of people tell stories about how they or their children didn't turn 21 until halfway through their senior year, and how terrible it was to be left out and not be able to go out with their friends. However, whenever I tell people about how my son will be graduating this spring after 5 years while he had to watch all his friends graduate last spring, it gets brushed off by everyone, even those who simultaneously think that they or their kid had it rough by not being able to go to bars with their friends. I understand that there are much bigger problems in the world than social isolation. What I don't understand is why it's understandable to feel left out when your friends go to bars without you, but not when your friends graduate without you.
I think it's not about bar hopping, but about the worries over pregaming drinking on campus.
Quote:
Pregaming, or drinking before going out, is common among college students with around 60-70% of college drinkers reporting pregaming within the past month. Past studies have shown that pregaming leads to greater alcohol consumption and more alcohol-related negative effects. In addition, students may engage in risky behaviors which drinking such as playing drinking games, mixing alcohol with energy drinks, and using cannabis. This study examines within- and between-person associations between heavy episodic drinking (HED; 4+/5+ drinks for females/males) and high-intensity drinking (HID; 8+/10+ drinks) while pregaming, negative consequences, and risky substance use behaviors.
Pregaming is the issues, not access to alcohol. If kids could go bars, there would be less likely to pregame and college would be far less dangerous. Pregaming usually involves Everclear alcohol (95% alcohol by volume) in gatorade to make a punch. Girls skip dinner to save calories for alcohol. They haven't eaten and have no idea or control of the strength of their punch/drinks which is a bad combination.
Not graduating on time, due to a change in major or failing classes, is a personal problem. The minimum legal drinking age is a societal and legal issue.
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