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But how would I do that? Hire a private investigator? I don't know my son's first or last name. I don't know where they live...even though we exchanged letters, I know very little about them.
You do have a lot of information:
Quote:
Originally Posted by SnazzyB
I gave up a baby boy for adoption back in 1999. I signed over my parental rights, freeing him to be adopted out.
It tore my heart out. It was a primal thing to me...my failure to my own flesh and blood to provide for him.
His adoption was semi-open. His adoptive mother and I exchanged letters for about 3 years...and I knew my baby's first name, and the first names of his mom and dad. She would send me pictures and tell me his developmental milestones, and his interests.
Just imagine you're an adopted child - who had no choice - reading that statement. I was not my parents' first choice. They settled for me.
Since you don't have experience as an adopter nor an adoptee, how do you know the system isn't broken? How do you know reform is not needed?
It was not my intention and never is my intention to be insensitive or cruel. However I did not force you to read this thread, whose OP title is very clear as to its premise.
Reposting this question since it appears you didn't see it, OP.
I have a work colleague of 37 years that has an adopted son. I went to sleepaway camp with an adoptee. I know other adoptees through work or social connections.
Do people just look for areas "needing" reform so they can stir the pot and disorganize society?
I have a work colleague of 37 years that has an adopted son. I went to sleepaway camp with an adoptee. I know other adoptees through work or social connections.
Do people just look for areas "needing" reform so they can stir the pot and disorganize society?
The burden of proof is on those that want "change." The question is whether having the trauma to birth parents or the adoptee busted in on unexpectedly is exceeded by the "benefits" of turning someone's life upside down.
The burden of proof is on those that want "change."
No. The burden is on the clerks in the various government registry offices.
They should not be restricted in the performance of their duties by onerous law.
Quote:
The question is whether having the trauma to...
No; it isn't. It's NOT that those questions/issues CAN'T become problematic in some situations.
The question(s) remain about directly affected adults HAVING the right to find the information needed.
No. The burden is on the clerks in the various government registry offices.
They should not be restricted in the performance of their duties by onerous law.
Onerous? What about, simply, "no"?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRational
No; it isn't. It's NOT that those questions/issues CAN'T become problematic in some situations. The question(s) remain about directly affected adults HAVING the right to find the information needed.
Whose rights, here, trump whose? I suppose, if at the time of the adoption the birth parent indicates consent to be contacted, a "one-way door" is OK. In other words the adoptee would have the right to find the mother, but not the other way around. That being said, I think having such an open adoption is a needlessly bad idea.
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