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Yeah, agreed. The OP has since been trying to walk back most everything she said in her first post. The other one that stuck out to me was 'make her small in his heart.'
Well guys have fun discussing me. I got my answer so I won’t be commenting anymore. I’m glad I gave you all a post to pull apart and have fun with.
I’m getting married in two weeks to a wonderful man. He pastors a church. He and his late wife founded the church. He adored his late wife. They adored each other. I love that he had a good marriage and knows how to commit. I’m also a widow for 7 years.
I’m 70 and he’s 72. (That’s the amusing part). We are both very healthy. The thing that’s bothering me is her BIG picture is center wall as you enter the church. I think it should be moved to the side. I’m not sure if my thinking is a good one. He constantly talks about her, and I always listen and respect his feelings. But this picture is on my mind, and I just would like an unbiased opinion on if it should be moved and our picture put there. I will be working with him to grow his church, as did his late wife. But there’s a new sheriff in town. In my opinion she needs to become small and tucked away in his heart. As I did with my late hubby whom I was married to for most of my life thus far.
Just an unbiased opinion is appreciated. I will not make an issue of this with him at all. I just want to be sure what’s best.
Thank you
Will the congregation accept the picture being moved/replaced? You may need to take that into consideration.
I loved your very kind reply. I completely agree. This marriage will happen and the picture will remain center of wall. We have wonderful times together and mesh beautifully. we’re extremely happy. I just posted a question and only a fragment of our relationship.
I do imagine your position is a difficult one. Our pastor's wife passed a few years back. She was very much loved by the congregation. And the pastor too, of course. We all heard the story of how she was the reason he found God and how she turned his life around from a, we'll say "bad boy" to a pastor. They were not founders though (my grands were).
After a year or so he married a very different type of woman. I don't really know her and I have changed churches since (nothing to do with that). My sister still attends so I have heard a little about his new wife's struggles at first of fitting in and filling "the preacher's wife's" shoes. I also see how very happy and compatible the both of them are together via speaking to members of the congregation and their FB page.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marblecake53
I’m getting married in two weeks to a wonderful man. He pastors a church. He and his late wife founded the church. He adored his late wife. They adored each other. I love that he had a good marriage and knows how to commit. I’m also a widow for 7 years.
I’m 70 and he’s 72. (That’s the amusing part). We are both very healthy. The thing that’s bothering me is her BIG picture is center wall as you enter the church. I think it should be moved to the side. I’m not sure if my thinking is a good one. He constantly talks about her, and I always listen and respect his feelings. But this picture is on my mind, and I just would like an unbiased opinion on if it should be moved and our picture put there. I will be working with him to grow his church, as did his late wife. But there’s a new sheriff in town. In my opinion she needs to become small and tucked away in his heart. As I did with my late hubby whom I was married to for most of my life thus far.
Just an unbiased opinion is appreciated. I will not make an issue of this with him at all. I just want to be sure what’s best.
Thank you
Frankly, I don’t find your potential request or post one bit amusing. In fact I’m very concerned for your fiancé. I think you are ridiculous in trying to take down a picture of a FOUNDER of the church. Reeks of jealousy of someone who is no threat to you in their present state.
Not discussing his wife would probably rule out like 30 years of his life, of which she was a part.
He worked with her AND was married to her.
How can he share anything of his personal life if it does not include his late wife as part of that conversation?
I was married once for 30 years, had three kids with him and worked with him at our business. We've been divorced for years, I never mention him, there isn't any reason. We still get along and are very civil, always have been. But no need to talk about him or our marriage. That's wierd.
I was married once for 30 years, had three kids with him and worked with him at our business. We've been divorced for years, I never mention him, there isn't any reason. We still get along and are very civil, always have been. But no need to talk about him or our marriage. That's wierd.
I was married once for 30 years, had three kids with him and worked with him at our business. We've been divorced for years, I never mention him, there isn't any reason. We still get along and are very civil, always have been. But no need to talk about him or our marriage. That's wierd.
Well...I've been married to my second husband for 20+ years. I'm my husband's 4th wife. Sometimes our exes come up in conversation. It's not a big deal. And we both realize we had lives before we met each other and it's not wrong to have pleasant memories of our exes.
Sure, the marriages ended in divorce, but we had some good times with our exes too. I'm not threatened by it and he's not threatened by mine. As a matter of fact I think he's pretty confident that he's the better man than my ex all the way around.
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