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I learned this lesson more recently than I care to admit. I just thought I would share this because I do believe it will genuinely help someone.
If you are looking for a job/career, either a first career, or a 2nd career, or a 6th career, you may be thinking to yourself of the pluses and minuses and how 'likeable' your new career field will be.
I recently got some Linkedin alerts and browsed a couple of profiles of connections of connections...
1) A very old friend of a friend of mine had quit their job recently to start their own business, which has nothing to do with their old job. That person's job was working for a nonprofit overseas in various countries in various capacities, and IMO was one of the single coolest careers of all the people I know. Like everytime I saw her profile, I thought ... I should have taken the road she took. Quit...
2) A cousin of a friend of mine, who I knew a little when I was younger actually was in the career that I am hoping to get into. Like ... have been trying for years to get into on and off. Did it for 10 years and quit to start his own business. Which again has absolutely nothing to do with their old career.
I will tell you this much is true...
Unless you are a professional athlete, or (decently paid) musician/actress, then no matter what career you pick, there are many people who dislike it and want out.
No matter how much somebody on CD or any other forum says their career is awesome and better than yours, many people absolutely hate it.
And no matter how much you hate the career you are in now, there are people who absolutely love it.
Doesn't go without saying? Everything isn't for everybody. The only way to determine this is to try a career and see how you like it or if you don't like it.
You are also forgetting another group of people. Those that don't care if they like it or not. As long as the paychecks keep coming, they are okay with their career.
10% of your days are going to be great. You'll feel productive, have a win, etc. That'll make you want to stay. 10% of your days are going to be awful to where you'll want out immediately.
The balance of the other 80% is where most people make up their minds.
Doesn't go without saying? Everything isn't for everybody. The only way to determine this is to try a career and see how you like it or if you don't like it.
You are also forgetting another group of people. Those that don't care if they like it or not. As long as the paychecks keep coming, they are okay with their career.
There's a another group.
They HAVE to be there. They have to support the family, no matter how bad it is. I remember when I asked my mother if she thought if working elsewhere. She replied
"I have a family to raise, a housr to pay for. I can't just change horses in the middle of the river"
That sadden me for years knowing that she didn't really have a choice, she had to stick it out.
Just because your friends changed jobs doesn't necessarily mean they hated their careers. On the one hand, I love my career, but I've had jobs I hated. Or there could be other reasons why someone does or doesn't change their path. Timing in life is often part of it.
I recently had an opportunity come up that would be a dream job in a location we love (we lived in that location twice before and loved living there). My organization just opened an office there, so I could have had the job just by asking for it. I even wrote the job description. But the timing is wrong in our lives right now. 10 years ago, I'd have been begging for that job. But right now that move just doesn't fit with other things going on in our lives.
Finally as disgusted man says, I'd say the vast majority make those career decisions based on family. Most of us have been there at some point, stuck in a job we hate, because we had mouths to feed and keep a roof over their heads.
They HAVE to be there. They have to support the family, no matter how bad it is. I remember when I asked my mother if she thought if working elsewhere. She replied
"I have a family to raise, a housr to pay for. I can't just change horses in the middle of the river"
That sadden me for years knowing that she didn't really have a choice, she had to stick it out.
I agree that is a little sad. But she always had the period after the kids were out of the house.
That's what I'm trying to say.
People like your mother should get a chance to do what they feel they are better at, in an environment they are comfortable with. Life is short.
I would be the person to give your mother a chance, but ... I'm only one man.
Career is just a fancy word for Job. People can make up whatever words they like to make them feel good or better. It’s like you can call a Janitor an Environmental Service Staff. Or the synonym of Janitor is Superintendent. The synonyms of Superintendent are Supervisor, Manager, Administrator, Director… So a Janitor can be called as an Administrator or a Director because A = B and B = C, then A = C. So on and so on.
Rest assured that the certainty for attaining and maintaining one’s career nowadays is uncertainty.
In the 1970 - 1980s, if you had a degree in anything, you could get a very good job with high pay anywhere in a snap. In 1990 – 2000, if you had a degree in certain fields, you could get a job in that field easily. Early 2000 – now, millions and millions of young people graduated with degrees with honour and could not find a job in their studied fields for a long time. And they ended up with a job not in their field they studied for. It happened to one of my sons for one. And there were/are many others (from what my sons told me and thousands of others for sure, for real).
And at these days and age, no matter you like your job or career (a fancy word), you cannot stay at one place as long as you want, unless you are liked by your higher-ups. And most people have learned that, therefore they learn to jump often. If you don’t jump, sooner or later (usually sooner) the companies will have re-org. And now that happens all the times and everywhere.
About opening your own business, it’s not so easy. From 1990s, there have been a trend that business people go for giant businesses. Small businesses don’t make much money and won’t last for long. I remember the movie You've Got Mail (1998).
I had been working for someone and having my own business also. The business I ran had nothing related to what I studied or working for my employer. There were competitors. And eventually, all the manual equipment and machines had to be changed to digital, and they costed LOTS of money. Only big companies can afford to pay for new equipment and machines. I ran my business for a number of years, made good money, and eventually felt tired, so I sold it. And I just want to work a regular job, 8 hours and go home.
I’ve learned that if you want to keep your job, it’s not about how good you are at your job, but how good you are with getting along with others.
At my workplace, I see there are employees who are very messy at their job, talk too much, call in sick a lot, but they are the top manager’s friends, therefore they can stay for years and years. And there are a few who are quiet, are very knowledgeable and do their job very well, and they don’t go to the manager’s office to talk about this and that and flatter her, and they had very hard times with that manager, and they have more work to do because they are so good at what they do, so the manager just gives them more work to do. It’s like you are not sick or ill, you are so good, healthy and strong you can do more and more. It's team work. When someone is "weak" and cannot do so much, you are strong and can do a lot, you need to do more to make up or cover for the one who can do less. Haha. What a punishment for being good at work. This is a strong message for employees and management.
So, the second category above eventually learn to be smart *sses too, then they don’t have to do so much and have easier life. Sad and immoral, but what can you do? You need to keep your job to pay bills, to live. If it’s so easy to jump somewhere else, everybody would jump constantly. Besides, mostly everywhere is about the same.
It's true. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I changed careers about 10 years ago and I sometimes find myself wondering if it was the right move. But if I'm being honest, I was really unhappy with the career path I was on and am in a much better situation now. I think at some point most people have to accept the fact that work/career are just a means to an end. What I find typically defines the best jobs I've had is the people I work with and doesn't have much to do with the work itself. It's nice if your work is rewarding and you really enjoy it, but not everyone has that luxury.
I agree that is a little sad. But she always had the period after the kids were out of the house.
That's what I'm trying to say.
People like your mother should get a chance to do what they feel they are better at, in an environment they are comfortable with. Life is short.
I would be the person to give your mother a chance, but ... I'm only one man.
People don't all have kids at the same age and a couple of decades left to reinvent themselves when the kids are out of the house. I had a kid in my 40s. He will be heading to college just as I'm closing out my worklife. I have no idea what the woman in question's circumstances are, but I do know not to make assumptions about what options she has because we don't all follow the same path or have access to the same options the way your post makes it sound
I’ve learned that if you want to keep your job, it’s not about how good you are at your job, but how good you are with getting along with others.
At my workplace, I see there are employees who are very messy at their job, talk too much, call in sick a lot, but they are the top manager’s friends, therefore they can stay for years and years. And there are a few who are quiet, are very knowledgeable and do their job very well, and they don’t go to the manager’s office to talk about this and that and flatter her, and they had very hard times with that manager, and they have more work to do because they are so good at what they do, so the manager just gives them more work to do. It’s like you are not sick or ill, you are so good, healthy and strong you can do more and more. It's team work. When someone is "weak" and cannot do so much, you are strong and can do a lot, you need to do more to make up or cover for the one who can do less. Haha. What a punishment for being good at work. This is a strong message for employees and management.
So, the second category above eventually learn to be smart *sses too, then they don’t have to do so much and have easier life. Sad and immoral, but what can you do? You need to keep your job to pay bills, to live. If it’s so easy to jump somewhere else, everybody would jump constantly. Besides, mostly everywhere is about the same.
Thanks for the well thought out post.
Yea all that is true where I work too, though they have fired/laid off anybody who is really bad, after all ... money is more important. The crazy thing about it is that I have a very fair/nice manager and he appreciates the long hours I put in. But he's so nice, that he doesn't talk crap about anybody. Though I have survived the COUNTLESS rounds of layoffs/firings, so ... It really is depressing how people are so willing to take advantage of others. The aforementioned manager may make good $, but he does so literally working double the hours as most of the other executives. Just really depressing.
As for your other points, I somewhat agree, but I definitely think there are different fits for different people. However, you could find that 'fit' in the same 'career'. But changing careers definitely won't take you from suicidal to bliss... certainly not.
Last edited by jobaba; 01-23-2021 at 04:19 PM..
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