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Gov't here, too. I just keep silent and that says a lot. "I'm really trying to give up gossiping. My new rule for myself is: If I'm not saying it to lift someone up, then it's gossip."
This little gem makes me wonder about you, OP. So..you're better than all of them in (hold on, let me count) 4 ways. So you have to downplay yourself? Pretentious and fake? That's what that sounds like, stuck up's not far behind!
I work with a lot of 20 somethings, you only need a hs diploma, they aren't looking at the job as a career. I'm not fake at all. It's just a different atmosphere bc they are in a different stage of life. They are still caught up in young adult drama.
I have to downplay myself bc I'm not going to brag that I have 2 degrees. When they are talking about being broke, I'm not going to add that I have a ton of savings. Stuff like that. I'm definitely not stuck up. I'm also not anti gossip, it's just that I have to stick with the job so I can't afford to get sucked in.
Gossipers are at all ages, in all shapes and sizes, and in all professions. I work with a large group of women and a few men from 30s to 50s. Some are very good, nice and professional. They do their job and give guidance to the subordinates and new employees. Some others just create cliques and talk and criticize about anything and whisper to each other all the times. Even some leaders and managers are gossipers too.
I loathe the gossipers. I am not afraid of them not liking me or losing my job. I just ignore them totally. When many of them come to my office (shared office), I go somewhere else. My workplace is a large building with many floors and units. I can go anywhere I want because I take care of lots of things in the whole building. When I'm done my 8 hours, I go home. I feel very tired of being in the crowd and listening to gossips; that is just like noise to me. I care about work and being nice reasonably and professional to everyone. That's all I care at work.
I work in human services and am forced to interact with coworkers. I can already see that the EQ isn't high and there is a lot of drama and gossip and complaining. I've been reading advice online but most of it relates to office workers. I can't just detach and hide at my desk. I'm ok with letting them know that I'm not going to engage in the drama but I don't want to come off as I think I'm better than them.
Please don't tell me to look for another job bc it's a good paying gvt job and I'm sticking with it. I'm planning to transfer to another location in a year but in the meantime...
Since you work in HR isn't everything confidential?
Wouldn't gossip taint any case if/when an ussue might come up?
Is it any sort of conflict of interest?
I wish I could but I'm afraid that I'll come off as stuck up bc I'm already the most educated, financially successful, upscale, mature person there by a long shot. I have to downplay myself a lot.
I'm thinking to either start pretending like I'm religious and throw in some god talk when they try to discuss others. Some of the advice I've read is to say something positive about the person they are talking about but so far, I don't know how to do it in an easy manner. For example, X is so lazy and stupid. Really? I think X has really pretty hair. Lol
Hopefully, it will die down once they see I'm not into it. I'm too old for this nonsense.
Eta I can't rep you again, yet but thanks!
You seem to think very highly of yourself, maybe you should loosen you tie/color once in a while.
With gossiping and drama, I usually tell the chatter box the offended party is a pretty good worker, tell them they sound like a bunch of hens in a chicken coop, and remind them how hurtful what they are doing is.
Work is just that, work. I am not there to make life long friends. Everyone should come to work without having to deal with High School nonsense. Work is not an open playing field to bash and trash people. It is incredible how co workers walk around , smiling, then gang up and bully someone because of differences in opinion. This is gang mentality, as the subject of the attack, usually will make some enemies , because of Ms Talkalotofcrap.
Personality creates work friends, and we are there to make the check, and go home. Including the little guy that may be struggling , to feed his family. I let these type of people know I do not trust them, because of the smile ,while holding that knife behind their backs. Busting chops, just joking around, are not valid reasons to gossip.
Since you work in HR isn't everything confidential?
Wouldn't gossip taint any case if/when an ussue might come up?
Is it any sort of conflict of interest?
You seem to think very highly of yourself, maybe you should loosen you tie/color once in a while.
With gossiping and drama, I usually tell the chatter box the offended party is a pretty good worker, tell them they sound like a bunch of hens in a chicken coop, and remind them how hurtful what they are doing is.
Work is just that, work. I am not there to make life long friends. Everyone should come to work without having to deal with High School nonsense. Work is not an open playing field to bash and trash people. It is incredible how co workers walk around , smiling, then gang up and bully someone because of differences in opinion. This is gang mentality, as the subject of the attack, usually will make some enemies , because of Ms Talkalotofcrap.
Personality creates work friends, and we are there to make the check, and go home. Including the little guy that may be struggling , to feed his family. I let these type of people know I do not trust them, because of the smile ,while holding that knife behind their backs. Busting chops, just joking around, are not valid reasons to gossip.
I work with a lot of 20 somethings, you only need a hs diploma, they aren't looking at the job as a career. I'm not fake at all. It's just a different atmosphere bc they are in a different stage of life. They are still caught up in young adult drama.
I have to downplay myself bc I'm not going to brag that I have 2 degrees. When they are talking about being broke, I'm not going to add that I have a ton of savings. Stuff like that. I'm definitely not stuck up. I'm also not anti gossip, it's just that I have to stick with the job so I can't afford to get sucked in.
Well -- you're right, but you're also at a different stage of life. And you can remember being a broke 20 something. Trying being helpful. When they start talking about no money, go down memory lane, and how you had no money, and what you did to fix the issue. Try to get them to think about their goals.
Then, when they start talking about co-workers, you can say that isn't helpful to their goals. Deflect, deflect....
How do you tactfully stay away from the gossip and drama?
I work in human services and am forced to interact with coworkers.
Easy: I work in IT.
I do interact with coworkers but my department is almost entirely male. When I do interact with females, it's usually to solve work problems. I'll socialize with them, but thankfully most of them are married and they know I'm about as receptive to gossip and drama as their husbands are, so they don't try to involve me!
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