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Well I've been a single parent for 3 years now and up until this year I had been as dependable an employee as my childless counterparts. My attendance in most cases was actually better. My children Just did not get sick much and when school was out I had several quality sitters on speed dial.
Well this past July I started a new job and for whatever reason It has been like it is cursed or something. This cold and flu season has been harsh at the kids school. It has worked like this- One child brings home the virus and is sick-they are home for 2 days then the other child gets it and is home for a day or 2-at this point I have already missed the better part of a work week. I sometimes go to work even if I am ill just because I feel like I cannot call in.I have always stayed home with the kids when they are sick because I felt like they needed me not some random sitter, but If this continues I may seek out a nanny type who is willing to comfort sick children.I have also had sitters cancel on me MORNING of lately!
To make matters worse I am the only single parent in my large department at work. Everyone else is either older or has a spouse who is readily availible in these situations. Not a whine-but it only makes it more noticeable!! A majority of them ask for any time off a year to 6 months ahead and rarely miss.
I still have sick/annual leave left- but this is starting to concern me. I do not want to be the employee everyone hates. I take both my job and my children seriously.
Please share your thoughts on this-especially if you are a non parent.Do you feel like this is unfair to workers like you?? Is there anything tactful I can say to let my co-worker know that it's not that I don't care about work? Especially working with a demographic that can't relate.
Well I've been a single parent for 3 years now and up until this year I had been as dependable an employee as my childless counterparts. My attendance in most cases was actually better. My children Just did not get sick much and when school was out I had several quality sitters on speed dial.
Well this past July I started a new job and for whatever reason It has been like it is cursed or something. This cold and flu season has been harsh at the kids school. It has worked like this- One child brings home the virus and is sick-they are home for 2 days then the other child gets it and is home for a day or 2-at this point I have already missed the better part of a work week. I sometimes go to work even if I am ill just because I feel like I cannot call in.I have always stayed home with the kids when they are sick because I felt like they needed me not some random sitter, but If this continues I may seek out a nanny type who is willing to comfort sick children.I have also had sitters cancel on me MORNING of lately!
To make matters worse I am the only single parent in my large department at work. Everyone else is either older or has a spouse who is readily availible in these situations. Not a whine-but it only makes it more noticeable!! A majority of them ask for any time off a year to 6 months ahead and rarely miss.
I still have sick/annual leave left- but this is starting to concern me. I do not want to be the employee everyone hates. I take both my job and my children seriously.
Please share your thoughts on this-especially if you are a non parent.Do you feel like this is unfair to workers like you?? Is there anything tactful I can say to let my co-worker know that it's not that I don't care about work? Especially working with a demographic that can't relate.
Just don't say anything. Your priority is to your children and to your job. You need both of them. Who cares if someone has children or doesn't have children or has children that are grown up? I understand what you're going through; yes, it is hard raising children and working a full-time job. It's a part of life and there's no getting around it. Your work speaks for itself; I wouldn't say anything else. There is no need for your co-workers to "validate" you. Millions of working parents know exactly what you're talking about. Wishing you the best.
Do your job and don't expect others to pick up your slack. Nobody will care if you take care of your job. If you play the "single mom" card and try to shift your load to others, well, yes, they will start to resent you. They have sick parents, dogs, hangnails, hangovers, etc., too.
You chose your situation. Your co-workers did, too. They don't care that your choice is children...their choice may be a cricket with a missing foot. Both of you may be really concerned....not the other workers problem.
Just don't say anything. Your priority is to your children and to your job. You need both of them. Who cares if someone has children or doesn't have children or has children that are grown up? I understand what you're going through; yes, it is hard raising children and working a full-time job. It's a part of life and there's no getting around it. Your work speaks for itself; I wouldn't say anything else. There is no need for your co-workers to "validate" you. Millions of working parents know exactly what you're talking about. Wishing you the best.
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Originally Posted by Elmonellie
Do your job and don't expect others to pick up your slack. Nobody will care if you take care of your job. If you play the "single mom" card and try to shift your load to others, well, yes, they will start to resent you. They have sick parents, dogs, hangnails, hangovers, etc., too.
You chose your situation. Your co-workers did, too. They don't care that your choice is children...their choice may be a cricket with a missing foot. Both of you may be really concerned....not the other workers problem.
I agree with both of these posters. It doesn't bother me when single parents use their time for their kids. I kind of feel bad for them that they can't just rip a day b/c they have to save the time for their kids needs . Before I had kids, it didn't bother me either, but I don't worry about other people at work. I worry about what I need to do and don't get caught up in the "Oh she's out again for a sick kid" crowd. You have time to use, it's none of my business what you're doing with it.
It's tough to be a parent working. I am a single parent too, and I would advise you keep a low profile on things. Employers don't like "families" and see that as a detriment like age, handicaps, etc. Many of them won't see you as human, so don't expect that from them.
I did a favor for a married woman with small kids at work once. She later went behind my back and did something pretty nasty to help someone who didn't have the same credentials as me, to undercut me and promote her.
So don't expect people to see you as different.
I bought a lot of paper plates back then.
It's tough to be a parent working. I am a single parent too, and I would advise you keep a low profile on things. Employers don't like "families" and see that as a detriment like age, handicaps, etc. Many of them won't see you as human, so don't expect that from them.
I did a favor for a married woman with small kids at work once. She later went behind my back and did something pretty nasty to help someone who didn't have the same credentials as me, to undercut me and promote her.
So don't expect people to see you as different.
I bought a lot of paper plates back then.
Employers don't like families? Huh? Employers pretty much don't care as long as you do your job.
If an employee comes in late and complains about her/his sick dog and leaves early and sluffs off work to take care of the sick dog.... Guess what? The employer and the other employees will tire of this behavior. Substitute a child/ren ...same thing. Nobody cares about your personal life if you keep it personal.
Employers don't like families? Huh? Employers pretty much don't care as long as you do your job.
If an employee comes in late and complains about her/his sick dog and leaves early and sluffs off work to take care of the sick dog.... Guess what? The employer and the other employees will tire of this behavior. Substitute a child/ren ...same thing. Nobody cares about your personal life if you keep it personal.
Ohh..an employment agency told me that once...don't let them know you have a family. I know, it's all weird. No one believes any of it.
Sorry if you thought I was being sarcastic. I was not. I am sure the employment agency advised you to NOT talk about your "family". You should not talk about family or other personal matters on an interview or at work until you understand the dynamics of your work situation.
Very limited personal info is the way to go at work.
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. Before I had kids, it didn't bother me either, but I don't worry about other people at work. I worry about what I need to do and don't get caught up in the "Oh she's out again for a sick kid" crowd. You have time to use, it's none of my business what you're doing with it.
