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I'm new to this site and have a serious problem I'd like advice on. Please be advised, I'm not proud of what I've done so would appreciate respectful answers only.
Here goes, a co-worker had shown interest in me and pursued me at work. After spending some time together, he had confided in me about having a personal health problem which prevented him from moving forward on top of telling me he didn't know what he wanted and not giving me much thought. I felt lead me on and used by this person emotionally; When I told him how this hurt me, he scoffed in my face and wanted to get off the phone. I was incredibly devastated and angry to know this person who took me on dates and engaged in romantic gestures could do this. He ghosted me after this despite attempts at even wanting friendship.
I then vented my frustrations to a couple people I was friends with outside of work about what he did and what he confided in me about his personal diagnosis. I'm not proud I did this and know it was wrong. One of the co-workers told another person who works with us and that person told him. The other co-worker (denies he said anything) told a supervisor who then told him.
I've already started looking for work as I'm concerned about being terminated. If anyone can chime in with advice on whether or not this is grounds for termination, I'd appreciate it. I've already apologized to the person and tried my best to do damage control. This situation has caused so much stress for me I ended up with a panic attack in the hospital.
I already feel like unprofessional scum, so please no need to remind me.
Last edited by VorheesSaints; 04-24-2017 at 02:19 PM..
I know you want to vent (if this post is serious), so vent away, but nothing we can 'advise' you since you already know, that you should have known better than to get into a workplace tryst.
Keep looking for another job and let it go. And learn from your mistake, your job comes first not some romantic affairs.
Thanks for your reply, what I have stated is indeed true. I really want to know if I can get terminated over this and if he would have grounds to sue me and the other colleagues if it makes his work environment uncomfortable.
I'm new to this site and have a serious problem I'd like advice on. Please be advised, I'm not proud of what I've done so would appreciate respectful answers only.
Here goes, a co-worker had shown interest in me and pursued me at work. After spending some time together, he had confided in me about having a personal health problem which prevented him from moving forward on top of telling me he didn't know what he wanted and not giving me much thought. I felt lead me on and used by this person emotionally; When I told him how this hurt me, he scoffed in my face and wanted to get off the phone. I was incredibly devastated and angry to know this person who took me on dates and engaged in romantic gestures could do this. He ghosted me after this despite attempts at even wanting friendship.
I then vented my frustrations to a couple people I was friends with outside of work about what he did and what he confided in me about his personal diagnosis. I'm not proud I did this and know it was wrong. One of the co-workers told another person who works with us and that person told him. The other co-worker (denies he said anything) told a supervisor who then told him.
I've already started looking for work as I'm concerned about being terminated. If anyone can chime in with legal advice here I'd appreciate it. I've already apologized to the person and tried my best to do damage control. This situation has caused so much stress for me I ended up with a panic attack in the hospital.
I already feel like unprofessional scum, so please no need to remind me.
I am a little lost here.
So you two were dating? Then he broke it off because of being indecisive and sick?
You went ahead and told coworkers he has health issues? Huh? Why would you get fired for that? Or for having dated him?
If you want legal advise, you need to consult an attorney. We are just regular people here.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VorheesSaints
Thanks for your reply, what I have stated is indeed true. I really want to know if I can get terminated over this and if he would have grounds to sue me and the other colleagues if it makes his work environment uncomfortable.
If what you said about him was true (everything he told you), then you're ok.
However, as an announcer that broadcasts Chicago Blackhawks games says all the time "for all you young hockey players", in this case, "for all you young employees (and god I hope you're young)", don't get romantically involved at work!
Can you be terminated? Sure in most cases you can be terminated for anything at anytime that is not protected by law. Mouthing off to your friends is not a protected class. Will they? If you do good work and are a good employee, good god no, they will not want to touch this with a 10 foot pole.
As for being sued? As long as you were truthful with what was told, meaning you didn't make things up about him, then no you are basically sue proof. There is no dating privilege, like Dr./patient or attorney/client.
In the end, settle down, and move on. Do not speak to this individual for any reason unless it is 100% work related. Do not try to fix anything or make a friend out of him. That will only make it worse.
So you two were dating? Then he broke it off because of being indecisive and sick?
You went ahead and told coworkers he has health issues? Huh? Why would you get fired for that? Or for having dated him?
If you want legal advise, you need to consult an attorney. We are just regular people here.
Sorry for any confusion in my post; I thought we were dating based on the actions he was doing (including affection gestures), it wasn't until I asked him what we were doing he came back and mentioned his sickness and everything else in my OP.
Again, I'm not worried about being fired for seeing him, I'm wondering if I can be termed for mentioning his diagnosis to other employees outside work who have now mentioned it to people at work.
Can you be terminated? Sure in most cases you can be terminated for anything at anytime that is not protected by law. Mouthing off to your friends is not a protected class. Will they? If you do good work and are a good employee, good god no, they will not want to touch this with a 10 foot pole.
As for being sued? As long as you were truthful with what was told, meaning you didn't make things up about him, then no you are basically sue proof. There is no dating privilege, like Dr./patient or attorney/client.
In the end, settle down, and move on. Do not speak to this individual for any reason unless it is 100% work related. Do not try to fix anything or make a friend out of him. That will only make it worse.
Thanks for your reply. Yes, everything he told me is true and we both agreed to never contact each other again.
I'm pretty sure that nothing that you have done is grounds for termination on it's own. You could get counseled regarding workplace gossip, but it sounds like you would handle that fine as you have taken accountability for what you did, apologized and have taken steps to not let it further impact your work performance by the two of you avoiding each other.
OP, are you in HR? If so, that would be grounds for termination.
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