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I mean socializing after work. The company was holding a bowling night and only gave 4 days notice. I had a prior engagement and could not go. Even if I didn't have plans I wouldn't want to go. I have to spend all day with these people and I don't want to spend time with them after work too. I'm not concerned about raises or moving up. I'm as low on the totem pole as it gets and I'm not wanting to change positions. If anything I may look for another job with another company.
I can't. I have to get Johnny from baseball and Suzy from Dance. Maybe next time.
I would politely decline always prefacing with "Thank you for the invitation/offer, but..." or "Thanks for thinking of me, but I cannot go at this time..." It softens the blow and keeps you in good graces to where you're not looked at as antisocial, just super busy by the person inviting you.
If it's a company sanctioned event, go. If it is coworkers just going for a drink, then don't go.
You learn things when the whole company is together. People talk. For instance at a company dinner I was sitting with people with whom I do not normally work. They had more knowledge about something that was going on within the company than I did. It was good information to have.
You can always say you have plans. People understand that. If they keep inviting you after you keep saying you have a prior engagement, it may be that they're just trying to be inclusive and fair, and won't really care that much if you say no.
I do draw a distinction between coworkers hanging out and company-sponsored events though. Like one person said, you can learn a lot at company-sponsored events about what's going on. For better or worse, skipping such things can put you at a disadvantage when it comes time to advance.
If it is a company sponsored event and you consistently don't go, you will be looked at as someone who isn't a team player.
As long as you are ok with that and any ramifications that might come with it, just say no thanks and don't go.
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