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So I was out with professional associates for a celebration. I took the train there and was planning to take the train back. As I'm leaving the person offers to give me a ride. The train station was about a ten minute walk from where we were at and I replied no I'm okay the train station is right there. This person insisted and then asked approximately where I live. They insisted that they could drop me off at home . I said no thanks but I'll take a ride to the station. The person insisted that I was on their way and it didn't make sense to take the train. Socially awkward and extremely private I said no I'll just take the train. The person seemed hurt and offended. I'm wondering if I should apologize to the person. It felt so awkward and uncomfortable. It wasn't personal I'm just a no thanks I got it type of individual. The person definitely had pure intentions and was being nice but I wasn't trying to be an arse I just felt better taking the train. Would you speak on it again to make sure the person didn't feel uncomfortable the next time you meet?
So I was out with professional associates for a celebration. I took the train there and was planning to take the train back. As I'm leaving the person offers to give me a ride. The train station was about a ten minute walk from where we were at and I replied no I'm okay the train station is right there. This person insisted and then asked approximately where I live. They insisted that they could drop me off at home . I said no thanks but I'll take a ride to the station. The person insisted that I was on their way and it didn't make sense to take the train. Socially awkward and extremely private I said no I'll just take the train. The person seemed hurt and offended. I'm wondering if I should apologize to the person. It felt so awkward and uncomfortable. It wasn't personal I'm just a no thanks I got it type of individual. The person definitely had pure intentions and was being nice but I wasn't trying to be an arse I just felt better taking the train. Would you speak on it again to make sure the person didn't feel uncomfortable the next time you meet?
Were you worried the co-worker was going to rape you or steal from you? If so, I'd be talking to HR instead of us.
Assuming you weren't worried about that, I don't think it's that unusual. A co-worker of mine (I'm male) had to drop her car off for repairs. I offered to help her out since we live in the same town. I met her at the repair shop, drove her to work that day. Drove her home at the end of it, and picked her up/drove her to the repair place the next morning.
For many people, co-workers become friends, and are usually trust worthy. Obviously if you're dealing with a less than profession job (McDonald's workers for example) things change, but I don't get that impression from your post.
No, I wouldn't apologize at this point, but unless you have a reason to distrust the person in particular, I'd question why you're so untrusting.
So I was out with professional associates for a celebration. I took the train there and was planning to take the train back. As I'm leaving the person offers to give me a ride. The train station was about a ten minute walk from where we were at and I replied no I'm okay the train station is right there. This person insisted and then asked approximately where I live. They insisted that they could drop me off at home . I said no thanks but I'll take a ride to the station. The person insisted that I was on their way and it didn't make sense to take the train. Socially awkward and extremely private I said no I'll just take the train. The person seemed hurt and offended. I'm wondering if I should apologize to the person. It felt so awkward and uncomfortable. It wasn't personal I'm just a no thanks I got it type of individual. The person definitely had pure intentions and was being nice but I wasn't trying to be an arse I just felt better taking the train. Would you speak on it again to make sure the person didn't feel uncomfortable the next time you meet?
Just next time tell them you have someone waiting for you at the station and you don't want to risk it, but you are thankful. Spin it like that - a circumstance that's out of your control. Extrovert co-workers tend to do this. They are very pushy I've realized and think it's totally ok to blur lines like this. To them, it is a sin if you don't want to. So always make it seem like you have other obligations, but do it as positively as possible. You going to the event itself shows them you're not trying to avoid them. Just move on and don't act awkward with that person. Be the first to initiate convo - they may think you just don't like them or something now.
Were you worried the co-worker was going to rape you or steal from you? If so, I'd be talking to HR instead of us.
Assuming you weren't worried about that, I don't think it's that unusual. A co-worker of mine (I'm male) had to drop her car off for repairs. I offered to help her out since we live in the same town. I met her at the repair shop, drove her to work that day. Drove her home at the end of it, and picked her up/drove her to the repair place the next morning.
For many people, co-workers become friends, and are usually trust worthy. Obviously if you're dealing with a less than profession job (McDonald's workers for example) things change, but I don't get that impression from your post.
No, I wouldn't apologize at this point, but unless you have a reason to distrust the person in particular, I'd question why you're so untrusting.
No the person isn't a bad person. I'm just uber private. It's the way I was raised. I can count on one hand how many friends knew where I lived growing up. My mom wasn't the entertaining type. Decades later I'm seeing im just like her in my hermit socially awkward private individual ways plus I have trouble accepting help. I'm sure those traits are weird to many but it's quirks that I have
Looks like fear was not the reason so personally, I would apologize to the person if you feel like he was hurt or offended. He was just trying to be nice. I do understand your need for privacy and that is your prerogative.
No, I don't think you were being rude.
I think they were being a bit weird for insisting so much.
I would have offered ONCE and then let it go.
Creepy factor went WAY up on the third "insist".
Never speak of it again, unless they mention it. You already made it a weird situation when it didn't have to be.
Be nice to the person at work- initiate conversations, make jokes, just act like nothing awkward happened so they don't have to feel awkward around you.
You should have just taken the ride. Maybe he thinks you're attractive and wants to get to know you. You plan to be a hermit and alone for the rest of your life? Maybe he LIKES you.
Maybe he's just a nice guy and you ARE on his way home and he just wanted to be HELPFUL Believe it or not there are people out there like that.
I would certainly 100% trust any of my coworkers to drive me home.
If you don't, then yea, I'd talk to HR or someone.
Otherwise, jeez woman, relax. He's not a complete stranger.
Or if you're happy being a hermit... then why are you even concerned about this? Let it go...
So I was out with professional associates for a celebration. I took the train there and was planning to take the train back. As I'm leaving the person offers to give me a ride. The train station was about a ten minute walk from where we were at and I replied no I'm okay the train station is right there. This person insisted and then asked approximately where I live. They insisted that they could drop me off at home . I said no thanks but I'll take a ride to the station. The person insisted that I was on their way and it didn't make sense to take the train. Socially awkward and extremely private I said no I'll just take the train. The person seemed hurt and offended. I'm wondering if I should apologize to the person. It felt so awkward and uncomfortable. It wasn't personal I'm just a no thanks I got it type of individual. The person definitely had pure intentions and was being nice but I wasn't trying to be an arse I just felt better taking the train. Would you speak on it again to make sure the person didn't feel uncomfortable the next time you meet?
Um....
Really?
This person was trying to do something nice for you. I might not have been as persistent in trying to do you a favor as your coworker was, but I have made such offers to coworkers before (and they've both accepted/declined).
I wouldn't mention it, just go on being your normal self.
I think you've communicated loud and clear to your coworker that you prefer being a loner and a hermit. This tale will be spread to others in the office, so don't feel bad when you see yourself being marginalized and not invited to social gatherings.
Maybe you shouldn't work quite so hard to keep up this loner thing...you can learn to overcome these quirks if you want to. You don't have to keep on feeding and caring for them. But if you do, you will need to figure out how to reject people in ways that don't hurt their feelings. Like a previous poster said, make up a story about someone waiting for you at the station, or needing to go somewhere else before you go home.
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