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Yet another thread showing the vast, VAST disparity between achievers and those living in quiet desperation here on C-D Forums, seems to me. I don't have a "job", rather a career. Going to a job is meaningless, pointless, and aggravating. A career is something one cultivates, nurtures, loves, and almost by-definition makes success easy because after a while you're just that good...because you're motivated. Or, you're world-class at what you deliver. Whatever it is.
The number of people I work with who would just "go off on someone," or even give the slightest hint they'd want to, is zero of (about) 200. The idea is absurd. The "mental game" I play is called: Prioritize, delegate, and otherwise carefully manage my time in any given week to deliver our service. I get there about 8:30am, often but not always first on the hallway, and split at about 4:45pm. Many work past 5, but not too far past. Number of toilers on the team: zero.
The days go by and are full and busy in a good way for everyone, and my team interacts will the entire org in a focussed manner (that requires a bit of improvisation) as part of our delivery: we need to see it all in-motion, from planning through delivery. I am pleasant and professional with my peers...all of them...and they with me. Without exception. Problems with that, the few that occur, are politely and professionally confronted immediately by peers, managers, and leadership. That's what professionals do, btw. The majority have Master's degrees in business, science (computer and otherwise), engineering, and similar. All are demonstrated achievers. Most, too, have relevant certifications such as PMP, CPA, MCSE, etc. depending on area of expertise.
Maybe that's the difference, what I'm missing here: everyone I work with, and the man in the mirror, values education and training that is relevant to delivering world-class products and services. There are very few grumblers. Grumbling means you're not taking steps to solve "it", whatever it happens to be. This is an environment where most are empowered to solve issues...get it done, and be innovative while you're at it.
To that end, we're all professionals. Not sure what sort of monkey house OP works in, and I'm saddened such places even exist to elicit such feelings. Senior managers are culled from those who can and will deal effectively with sometimes-significant pressure to move bits from Point A to Point B in time to satisfy engineering, marketing, and licensing needs in a multi billion dollar company. Organizational leadership and the executives have their eye on larger-scale delivery and leave the details to their senior staff. My peers and I, in turn, manage teams of perhaps three to twenty to deliver on those details. Multitaskers, the efficient, and strategic thinkers go far as long as they execute with results.
The very few whiners, shirkers, or people with "emotional problems" (e.g. thread the other day about "nervous breakdowns" and "psychotic breaks/episodes") are invited to leave, if the behavior persists beyond a reasonable threshold. They're literally lined up 150 deep out the door (OK, virtually lined up) for each open headcount to work at the firm, they tell me, because the company and others like it are demonstrably world-class and the chance to be a key part of that is a thrill ride every...single...day!
Because it was a tough January, and February is winding down after a major release cycle ending just last week, last Friday a peer snagged another from the hall after 5pm for a little R&R. She in-turn grabbed our boss and another peer. I wandered down about 5:30pm. A bottle of wine appeared, with shortbread sweets and chocolates. The GM wandered by about 6pm and we dragged her in too for a few minutes. Pretty soon it was a mini-party and we fired up some music and talked to about 7pm. We vowed to do it again, next time in my office the Friday before St. Patrick's Day in a few weeks. All that builds camaraderie and the high performance team environment we cultivate organizationally pretty carefully.
Hope that answers the (cough) question. Find help, soon.
Though your post was well written, your premise is flawed, in multiple ways actually. You also threw in a lot of red herrings. I'm not going to spend much time replying to you, as you seem to be quite full of yourself, to a delusional point actually. I doubt that all 200 people "on your team" love their job as much as you would like to think, and I also doubt if there's 200 of you, that all of you communicate on a daily basis or often enough for you to know how everyone is feeling.
In regards to your "valuing education" statement. I know people in the public service sector that have very little formal education who love their job. I've also seen "degreed professionals" who hate their life and come to work smelling like alcohol and looking as though they're this close from having a nervous breakdown. So it has very little, if anything to do with "valuing 'formal' education". From reading your post, I think the key is doing something that you've convinced yourself makes a difference, or that makes you feel important to the company and/or society.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jjury15
Every time you want to do something, go off, etc just imagine what you'll do with your next paycheck, imagine the person or people who're making you mad as giant dollar signs or dollar bills just floating around, make sure you take lunch breaks and take the time to regroup. Eventually it'll start wearing on you, though, and you should be planning on leaving.
Thanks, this is a very practical approach.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ackmondual
Some of my coworkers workout during lunchtime. I'm going to have to try that sometime. Otherwise, I play a few games on my cellphone, or take a short walk.
I've thought about this, but I'm a sweater...
Quote:
Originally Posted by s1alker
At my last job drugs and alcohol were methods people used to cope.
^^^ This is what I'm trying to avoid. I refuse to take any medication, self-prescribed or otherwise.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
I love my job but still get very stressed (I do not think they are mutually exclusive by any means). I work in a smallish room with the same dozen or so people every day (we have more on busy days, I'm a therapist) and many are women, many of them pre-menopausal like me, lol, so personality conflicts and spats, etc are bound to occur. I do get very stressed in these situations and unfortunately my "go to" stress reliever is to stuff my face with cookies or something, which are always in abundance as I work in a nursing home.
Things I work on to make it easier: Communicate any resentment I am feeling towards a co-worker; I find often when a spat starts, one or the other of us was already holding resentment...now I try to talk to the person first. Of course, remember this is a female-oriented workplace, so we resolve things via talking maybe more so than men would, not sure.
The other is training my mind via meditation, breathing, having affirmations I can repeat in my head, etc.
It's not easy, but the answers IMO are not external but inside you.
Good post. The thing is, when someone does something that pisses me off, I usually think they did it on purpose and out of a sense of entitlement. So it becomes difficult for me to have a non-defensive conversation with them. Usually my stress at work does not come from peers, though. It usually comes from some unreasonable request coming down from upper management.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NickofDiamonds
That's why it's called work and not play.
Be professional with your workmates, don't discuss private matters with them, keep your eye on the end game which is to become independent of the need to hunt and gather enough money to retire and just gettting up in the morning and keep putting one foot in front of the other until it's the end of the work day.
This too shall pass !
It's usually not coworkers, but I understand what you're saying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emigrations
My job generally doesn't put me under that kind of stress, but on the rare times I do get overstressed, I usually go take a walk around the building for a few minutes.
I might have to try that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NickL28
I hate to say it but I am on a cocktail of medications and have been since 2011 -- Prozac, Adderall (no longer take because I would always finish a 30 day supply in 10 days), Neurontin 800MG 4 times a day and now Clonozepam (Klonopin).
Yes these are necessary. However if you live in the Boston MA area you would know that everything is all about Sports & Alcohol. I am not into any of these.. Alcohol far worse and the residual depressive effects linger the day after you drank 10 beers with 5 shots
I use to schedule office visits for a medical facility and would see how many prescriptions the average person was on. It surprised me how many people in society are functioning prescription drug addicts. I don't want to rely on 7 different types of drugs to get through my day, it can't be healthy.
This is how I make it through my day: Facebook and YouTube.
Seriously though, it's mental, you just have to remember that no matter how bad the workday is, it will end. Not even the crappiest boss can stop time from moving forward.
This is how I make it through my day: Facebook and YouTube.
Seriously though, it's mental, you just have to remember that no matter how bad the workday is, it will end. Not even the crappiest boss can stop time from moving forward.
I make it through my day just fine because I choose to. I don't let the petty little things get to me. The only thing I can control is myself so I make it a point to come, do the best I can do, and leave satisfied every day. Even on the most stressful of days (which I've had with setting up my new project from Christmas until two weeks ago) I still go home and find that I am ready to get back at it the next day.
It's an attitude, not any kind of special skill or secret. Step back and try to figure out if the work really is that bad, or if maybe your outlook on your job needs some work. You don't have to be in your dream career to be happy with your work. I found that if I focus on doing the best I can every day and I start to see my work pay off, I can be happy in tons of environments.
Don't let things and people live rent free in your head. Don't sweat the small stuff. And don't worry about what others are doing. Focus on your work and only your work. You will go home much happier every day.
How do you normally make it through your workday without storming out of the office or completely going off on someone? Are there any mental games that you play so that you keep your sanity? Do you have stress relievers that you implement while on the job? Or do you love your job so much that you never have to fight negative feelings? Thanks for any replies.
Easy. I started my own company. I make the rules, problem solved.
How do you normally make it through your workday without storming out of the office or completely going off on someone? Are there any mental games that you play so that you keep your sanity? Do you have stress relievers that you implement while on the job? Or do you love your job so much that you never have to fight negative feelings? Thanks for any replies.
Honestly?
I have a journal that I carry with me and write down positive affirmations about my life outside of the context of this hell hole. I write about my moving to California, my upcoming vacation to Ireland & England, I write about the movie I want to see, how much money I'll be making soon, etc. I just go crazy and write down all the glorious and fun things I want to do to give me something to live for. Yes, I hate my job, but at the present, when I look at it positively, it allows me to pay rent and I have medical benefits.
Every time management makes me upset with something...I put in a resume for a better job. Eventually if they are a bad place to work someone else will hire me away for better pay.
I laugh.....a lot. About just how bad things can be. I let it entertain me.
I don't let myself get too personally vested anymore.
I put humor in everything. Currently my manager gets a new noisemaking gadget hidden in his cube every time he annoys me. Its slowly driving him insane. I'm amused.
In the end...I recognize what the alternatives are....and I consider them seriously. Why do you work there? could you go elsewhere or do something else?
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