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Hi I work for a digital advertising company and I have recently been going through a grievance at work because my boss has been inappropriate with me a number of times. I am not the first and I fear I won't be the last. To try and sum up as quickly as possible my boss has done the following 1) dared myself and two other females to kiss each other (we declined) 2) invited us back to his home after a works event to continue drinking as his WIFE and son were away (we all declined) 3- during a work dinner he dared me to take off my bra (again, I declined) 4) regularly looks at my figure from behind, usually when I'm walking out the meeting room 5) often pokes my ribs and once even poked my breast over my top because I was wearing a lacost top and the logo was in that area. He walked away laughing and I stood there stunned. 6) inquired about my dating life frequently 7) when I Expressed an interest to transfer to the Australian office his response was ' I'll be pissed off to get a new PA' and then said ' my advise is not to date any Australian guy!! ( he would never say this to a guy employee ... So even with these aforementioned points I didn't report to HR because I felt he would never actually do anything more. How wrong I was. Back in November I was invited to the USA by my company. Obviously this coincided with my boss's trip. As I am his PA I would only be able to go the same time as him. However we traveled seperately ( I made sure of it). I even booked a separate hotel, despite him telling me to stay at the same hotel he was staying at. His hotel was very expensive but I felt uncomfortable staying near him. The further the better was my opinon. Yet this still dis not save me from him. On one of the nights, he had invited me to work drinks. At first I declined but I later accepted because one of the female employees ( who I got on really well with) said she was going and asked me to join. Majority of the night was fine. I didn't even sit near him but an uncontrollable amout of drinks were ordered. admittedly I did loose count but I didn't feel like I was too drunk at first. By the end of the night it was just three of us left (myself, my boss and the female colleague) but at one point she disappeared without saying bye, yet her coat was still there. I think she was gone for about 20-40 mins. When she returned I noticed her grabbing her coat. At that point I got up, he got up but my memory blacks out. I do not remember getting home. I only remember waking up and he was lying in my bed next to me, awake and his arm draped on me with his hand near my breast. I was so scared to see him there. I told him to leave. When he finally got up he was not wearing any trousers!! Wtf . Also he was so calm. Like it was no big deal. I called HR that day and reported the incident. I later gave a statement to the police but I didn't think I had been raped so I didn't go further. . I later requested to see cctv footage of us coming back to hotel. I worried that I might have looked flirty but instead it showed me vomiting and stumbling but he looked coherent. He follows me around, helps check us in and then takes me up to my room. I would be thankful if he got me back safe and left BUT to stay in my bed is totally unacceptable.
So far, during the grievance, the company don't see that there was any sexual intent and no harm was meant. He did get a written warning and has to attend a sexual harrassment course but my request for a transfer to another dept/ office has been rejected. They think I can continue to work as his pa! This is outrageous but I feel trapped because if I take it further this means going to tribunal. My solicitor fees have already ranked up to 7k and tribunal will be 17k in legal fees. I've recently learnt that tribunal will not compensate for these fees and overall compensation for discrimination will not cover this and that's assuming I even win. I have written evidence of him admitting to the incident but claiming he was drunk, also a colleague made a statement confirming the events when he made perogative dares and invited us back to his home. Has anyone been to tribunal before? It seems very stressful and I'm already in such a bad way because the company have been very nasty since I reported it. Do I stop before it gets out of control or do I see it through. Bear in mind my fees to date is 7k and to I totally start tribunal I'm looking at another 2000. The company have refused any settlement with ACAS so tribunal is the next step. They did make a comment about offering 3months pay at the beginning but I rejected the offer at first. Any thoughts, advise welcome. Perhaps it is best to turn the other cheek and find a new job but in the meantime I will need to return to work and I'm really scared how nasty he and the company will be with me know. I fear they won't give me my bonus in March too.
I stopped reading as well. I hope you have detailed all of the above in your complaint to HR. Tell HR you are the subject of constant sexual harassment, and that they need to reassign one of you while the investigation takes place. You may need to file a complaint with the feds and get an attorney who works on a contingency basis; you are being subjected to a repeated pattern of sexual harassment from a supervisor.
I think drinking around someone like this man is a big mistake.
I also think not turning him in at the first inappropriate touch or comment was also a mistake. You accepted unacceptable behavior, which leads these type jerks to think that you are "playing" along with them.
This type person has no normal morals and values....He objectifies women....like he has done to you and your co-workers. If you didn't follow through with the police....why bother with the "tribunal"? IMO
Because just because he wasn't on top of you, when you awoke....doesn't mean he didn't take advantage of you. Sounds to me like he slipped something in your drink....Did you have a blood test for a date rape drug?? I would have done so....Your company isn't doing the right thing...But the law may have....
I would look for a different job since you say the company won't transfer you. It will not get better at this company.
Also, if it were me, I'd be requesting to read my personal file.....seems like they are not believing you, and may even be suspecting you are part of the problem. Best to find out before you use them for references.
I hope you get through this...and best advice, Do not go out drinking with a boss. Learn from this, act immediately with any boss like this in the future, who says suggestive comments to you...it is NOT OK.....Go straight to H.R. or even now, if you were from the U.S. I would have suggested that you go straight to the Dept of Labor.....Good luck to you.
Most of the posters here are in the U.S., so we don't know anything about the tribunals you're asking about. Perhaps if you post this in the forum for the country you're in, you'll get a reply.
You should have called the police and gone to the hospital when you woke up and found yourself in bed with him. You said you were raped, but I don't know if you have real evidence of that. Even if you don't, though, I am shocked you're still trying to hang onto that job instead of quitting. To write, "Perhaps I should turn the other cheek and find a new job...." does not seem like you care much about being reminded of the incident. If you haven't sought out counseling to help you with the psychological / emotional impact of these events, I recommend you do so. It can only help.
Drinking with him was a very unwise move. Otherwise I am unsure what the laws and legal processes are in whatever country you are in. In the USA this would be a very serious matter and the company would be stupid not to just grant your transfer and hope you would be placated with just that as another poster suggested this is a classic hostile working environment sexual harassment case and possible rape though it is tough to prove after the fact without an immediate police complaint and rape kit. The very fact that he slept wth you (from what your post implied) would be a huge breach of company protocol at most sensible companies to sleep with a subordinate.
You really need to be searching for a new company to work for as this company seems to lack any sense and will likely throw you under the bus. You really have no future at that company.
If this took place outside the US, forget everything I said.
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