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I think your coworker should have kept that crap to himself...it's just heresay, don't make an issue out of it.
You are doing your job and keeping a low profile. Nothing wrong with that. In regards to her comment....sounds like she's one of those emotional vampires that like to seek attention, get all in your business and yap. I wouldn't care what she thought of me. I would definitely not engage in conversation with her the next time you see her on the train. Just nod and keep moving.
OP, I have a question: Have you been brought up in another culture (country) or by parents from another culture?
I do not ask this to be obnoxious or rude. I have travelled quite extensively and have learned that different cuktures have differing expectations of social behaviors.
People are like shoes...they come in all sorts of designs and sizes. Some are more outgoing; others are private and reserved.
I am quite outgoing, and (improperly) assume that most others are as well.
So, here's how you handle it: Learn to appreciate shoes in all shapes and sizes. If people wish to "talk", then you talk. If they wish to remain silent, then you remain silent. In a word: adapt.
You'll find that life can be a lot more dynamic if you can adapt to the situation, however simple, in which you find yourself. Use this as a chance to push the boundaries of your personal envelope.
Here's a unique thought - why not approach her in a CORDIAL fashion and nip the situation in the bud? I'm sure that if you extended the olive branch and at least tried to show the most basic of pleasantries, this situation would quickly fade.
In the workplace, it's not always about who is "right", it's about promoting harmony in the workplace. Yes, sometimes that means smiling and being friendly with folks that you may not necessarily like, but it goes a long way in keeping the peace in a working environment.
An apology for what? Something you hear second hand that may or may not be true?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Howard25x
My point is that I do not need this woman to spread rumors about me...true or untrue.
Being a gossip can cause serious issues in a professional environment.
Her comments about me reflect negatively upon both me and the building management as a entity.
My concern is that her gossip could potentially damage my career.
I think you complaining about this trivial matter will be far more damaging to your career than anything she may or may not have said. Don't be the guy who as known as a complainer that runs and tells management about every little thing. Also she's probably been there a lot longer than you, if she gets offended and has the support of her management, you could be the one looking for a new job, how's that for damaging your career.
Last edited by TechGromit; 08-20-2014 at 06:45 AM..
However I think her superiors ought to be made aware of the character (or lack there of) that some of their employees posses.
That being said I will give it some thought before going forward on this. I would settle for an apology as well.
Until then I have nothing to say to such an individual who would stoop to insult someone she barely knows.
You're 20. That statement right there says a lot. Your post above makes you come across as holier-than-thou. You may not mean it that way, but that's my immediate reaction to the comments you made. You don't have the experience at this point in the workforce to comprehend how you should socialize with others. Introvert or not, you must learn to interact with others. It's likely that your lack of social skills may have offended her. There's nothing to go forward about. She gave her opinion of you based on your recent interactions. That's not an insult, but merely an observation.
You're going to have to learn to interact with others outside of your comfort zone to succeed. This isn't an attack, but merely some constructive criticism that you need.
I would hasten to disagree with Niambert. The lady in question, if she did in fact say these things, simply put has issues. She lacks the insight to recognize a professional person just doing their job and takes it upon herself to insult him.
1) Keep notes
2) Keep in mind that there is an HR function and should this be repeated or escalate I would ask for a confidential chat with HR.
3) Don't worry, keep focused on your jobs.
4) If you encounter her be cordial e.g. good morning how are you today. Nothing personal. Move on quickly. e.g. I'm sorry I really have to attend to this job. Date and time of contacts.
5) You may be 20 but you're smart and a good employee. That credibility typically is all you will need moving forward. Talent recognizes talent.
This is not a coworker, but an employee from another company in a shared office building. If you go to her (or your) HR, be prepared for the likely scenario of them not being interested in entertaining such exchanges outside of work. MAYBE they will care, but probably not. This wasn't even a direct exchange but playing telephone.
I would hasten to disagree with Niambert. The lady in question, if she did in fact say these things, simply put has issues. She lacks the insight to recognize a professional person just doing their job and takes it upon herself to insult him.
1) Keep notes
2) Keep in mind that there is an HR function and should this be repeated or escalate I would ask for a confidential chat with HR.
3) Don't worry, keep focused on your jobs.
4) If you encounter her be cordial e.g. good morning how are you today. Nothing personal. Move on quickly. e.g. I'm sorry I really have to attend to this job. Date and time of contacts.
5) You may be 20 but you're smart and a good employee. That credibility typically is all you will need moving forward. Talent recognizes talent.
And I would disagree with this as well. As a previous poster stated, you must learn to adapt in the workplace to succeed. Trying to avoid conversation is basically going to stick you with the stigma of being unfriendly and will eventually cause other co-workers to avoid you. But you go ahead and try to take her to HR and let me know how that works for you.
Really the op is upset that he is proud to be an introvert and has avoided having a conversation with someone 3 times, and then is insulted that she has now decided that he does not have a personality? To top it off the OP would like to raise hell with the lady's employer?
Alright I will admit that it took me a minute to figure out what a building engineer even was, sometimes I forget that job titles have changed in order to make people feel better about their jobs, but reality is a building engineer is a glorified maintenance man, and let me let you in on a little secret, the law firm and pretty much every company in your building does not care if their receptionist insulted the junior building engineer, at the end of the day they are your bosses clients, and should be treated as clients. those companies pay very good money to rent office space that is in good shape and taken care of, having to bring in a building engineer to fix something is already an inconvenience and not something that they want to deal with. You walking into their office and complaining to her boss will more than likely not only get you in trouble with your boss, and best case it will have them laughing the minute you walk out, or worse they will be pissed that you wasted their time and will raise hell with the building manager. I can almost guarantee you that they will not write up the receptionist, and you will lose what little respect they already have for you as it is.
You do not have to be anything more than cordial to the people in the offices, but if you refuse to speak to them when they try to talk to you, or you have an attitude, expect most of them to not like you, and a few will even make rude comments. Some of which will be much worse than you lost your personality.
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