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Here is my situation. I am 28. When I was 14, I was diagnosed with a mild form of Asperger's syndrome. Since then, my traits have gotten a lot better. I have no issue making eye contact, don't go on and on about narrow subjects, don't have a problem showing empathy. I would say the traits I still have are the inability to start a conversation, I can sometimes be a little awkward in a large social setting, and I have anxiety problems. I still see the psychiatrist who diagnosed me and he said, "I don't think you have much to worry about. I have had patients with worse traits than yours who had no problem holding down a job and living a normal life."
I have been employed at the same company for over 2 years. I am an accountant at an engine company. I am doing well and am very happy here. I have a really good rapport with a coworker, Helen. She is an older woman, in her mid 60's. She has a 12 year old grandson who has Asperger's. About a week ago, I told her I had Asperger's. I oly told her this after having a really good rapport with her. A few days later, Helen came over to me and was like, "Could you come with me? I want to ask you something." We went into the break room. There was no one else there. Helen asked me, "Does Barbara know you have Asperger's?" Barbara is the HR manager. I told her, "No." Helen said, "I think you should tell her." She also told me that before I told her, she thought I might have AS. She said that she could see I could never see things from others' points of view and everything is black and white. She says those are the same quirks her grandson shows. She also said his traits are far worse than mine.
Should I disclose this to Barbara? I think Helen was suggesting this because if I were ever to say anything insensitive or something like that in the office, Barbara would know I had AS. But the way I look at it is if it's not broken, don't worry about it. I have been gainfully employed here for over two years, have been getting good reviews, and have never gotten into trouble for how I interact with coworkers. I would say that for the most part, I come across as normal. Helen only thought I had AS because she knows exactly what the traits are. I also worry that if I were to disclose it, it may taint things going forward for me. I'd appreciate any advice. Thanks.
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Main concern in your case is...does your condition affect your job performance or might cause you to violate confidentiality of company information? Or do something strange that would be a concern or disruption for others at work? If it doesn't, let the issue rest and not divulge it to anyone...even your co-worker, Helen. But too late, you did. If you have such good rapport with her...I wonder, since you haven't told Barbara about your AS, you think Helen would eventually tell Barbara?
When you processed in after you were hired, was there a question in the in-processing paperwork that asked if you have or ever had Asperger's Syndrome? If it wasn't on the questionnaire...no problem. No need to divulge something that's not required. Some questionnaires have a follow up "catch-all" question like- "Have you now or ever been ....or had...this and that...usually goes on to say..."that would in anyway affect your ability to perform the duties of the position?...or render you to be a security risk, etc., etc." And if you thought at that time that your low-level AS condition would not affect your performance...or anything else on the job...then that's it. You didn't lie if you honestly believed it won't affect your performance or others at work and answered "No". But if such question was on the form and you answered truthfully...and said "yes"...and hired you anyway...it may not be held against you later...unless your work performance and ability to work with others is affected...then, that is an issue they'll have to deal with. I have been an HR manager for over 20 years...and do not recall ever seeing that type of question in our in-processing documents. Let's hope your co-worker Helen is discreet enough...and respects you enough to leave the matter alone..and not mention it to Barbara. On your next scheduled physical...or anytime you want the matter cleared, ask your physician to check you for AS. If he feels it's not serious enough to interfere with your job and dealings with other people...ask him to write you a memo stating so. Just have it handy...just in case the issue becomes an issue at work.
Last edited by FCStraight; 06-27-2014 at 09:39 AM..
Reason: Edited for minor changes to content.
I can only think of one Aspergers moment I ever had in a job. One of the traits of AS is taking things very literally. A few years back, at the CPA firm I worked at, my first job out of college, the managing partner wanted me to work on a project for him. He says, "Matt, I need you to work on a project for me. Come into my office and I'll explain what I want." He was standing in the kitchen door when he said it. He meant it jokingly. He meant the kitchen. I turned around and went into his office. A coworker saw it and tapped me on the shoulder and said, "He meant the kitchen." That was nothing compared to problems in the workplace some people with AS have.
I can only think of one Aspergers moment I ever had in a job. One of the traits of AS is taking things very literally. A few years back, at the CPA firm I worked at, my first job out of college, the managing partner wanted me to work on a project for him. He says, "Matt, I need you to work on a project for me. Come into my office and I'll explain what I want." He was standing in the kitchen door when he said it. He meant it jokingly. He meant the kitchen. I turned around and went into his office. A coworker saw it and tapped me on the shoulder and said, "He meant the kitchen." That was nothing compared to problems in the workplace some people with AS have.
If that was the only problem, you are doing very well.
Heck, I do not have AS and did something very similar with a professor in college.
Here is my situation. I am 28. When I was 14, I was diagnosed with a mild form of Asperger's syndrome. Since then, my traits have gotten a lot better. I have no issue making eye contact, don't go on and on about narrow subjects, don't have a problem showing empathy. I would say the traits I still have are the inability to start a conversation, I can sometimes be a little awkward in a large social setting, and I have anxiety problems. I still see the psychiatrist who diagnosed me and he said, "I don't think you have much to worry about. I have had patients with worse traits than yours who had no problem holding down a job and living a normal life."
I have been employed at the same company for over 2 years. I am an accountant at an engine company. I am doing well and am very happy here. I have a really good rapport with a coworker, Helen. She is an older woman, in her mid 60's. She has a 12 year old grandson who has Asperger's. About a week ago, I told her I had Asperger's. I oly told her this after having a really good rapport with her. A few days later, Helen came over to me and was like, "Could you come with me? I want to ask you something." We went into the break room. There was no one else there. Helen asked me, "Does Barbara know you have Asperger's?" Barbara is the HR manager. I told her, "No." Helen said, "I think you should tell her." She also told me that before I told her, she thought I might have AS. She said that she could see I could never see things from others' points of view and everything is black and white. She says those are the same quirks her grandson shows. She also said his traits are far worse than mine.
Should I disclose this to Barbara? I think Helen was suggesting this because if I were ever to say anything insensitive or something like that in the office, Barbara would know I had AS. But the way I look at it is if it's not broken, don't worry about it. I have been gainfully employed here for over two years, have been getting good reviews, and have never gotten into trouble for how I interact with coworkers. I would say that for the most part, I come across as normal. Helen only thought I had AS because she knows exactly what the traits are. I also worry that if I were to disclose it, it may taint things going forward for me. I'd appreciate any advice. Thanks.
Moderator cut: snip You shouldn’t have told anyone about your condition - not even your co-workers. You are professional at work never private – that is the key to success. Personally, I would not even tell my wife anything about my health condition if I was not legally required too. Understand that most people (even people close to you) want you life to be a living mess and so you should treat people around you as customers or your boss. Always be correct but never tell them (anything really) about your life. This woman wanted to tell HR because she wants you fired and I promise you that your company will kick you out as soon as they can if you tell them.
Last edited by 7G9C4J2; 06-29-2014 at 08:59 AM..
Reason: removed unnecessary remark
No way tell her, and don't fall into peer pressure. Telling your HR manager isn't going to help you in any way, and possibly lead to bias against you or other implications. It's not going to be a safety net like Helen has implied, a get out of jail free card if you do something dumb.
Plus, like you said, you seem to be a perfectly normal and productive professional whose Asperger's has no effect on your work. There is no benefit that comes to you from telling, and if it doesn't affect your work, no need to tell your company.
I'm not seeing the point to telling anyone anything. If you choose to share a diagnosis you got 10 years ago as a child with a coworker that's your business but your coworker is really out of line to think it's anyone else's business today. Why the HR woman specifically? What's the reason? I think your coworker is weird.
Which leads me to this....EVERYONE has some sort of issue, diagnosis or not, and odd personality quirks aren't limited to people with Aspergers.
I would NOT tell. It would worry me that Helen wants HR to know. Why should Helen care if HR knows? I don't think Helen is your friend --at least in this situation. For all you know, she made up the asperger grand-kid thing to get information from you.
If push came to shove I would deny telling Helen anything. I would simply say I had no idea what she was talking about, but perhaps she's having hearing or some other type of age-related problems.
Or why not just say "Helen misunderstood what I said (and leave it for others to interpret if it's an age thing)". And this only surfaces if Helen goes to HR without OP's consent. It would reflect poorly on Helen to go to HR without the OP's permission. That lack of judgment on Helen's part would speak for itself
Personally I think there is still a very poor disconnect between most private companies' understanding of autism spectrum awareness and the true strength and weakness areas of those on the spectrum. It is because of this disconnect that I would NEVER (except unless your symptoms are so blatantly obvious and it's hurting job performance), reveal your diagnosis label to HR of employer or anyone else.
Here is what would generally happen if you do. You would be asked to identify accommodations and then the company would reject almost all of those except things like "have a personal liasion read your emails for you", very basic accommodations. In turn, you would be required to demonstrate self-fixing by going to some sort of counseling on your end.
It wouldn't stop there. You would find that many positions you could previously have held within the organization will not be available to you anymore because the job descriptions will have "oral communication" skills as a very important preferred skillset. Now this job may be your cup of tea but your label will hinder your chance of being selected over another. This would not be discrimination against you because as long as the company re-assigned you to one or more other work positions and met one or more simple accommodations, that would indicate full compliance with ADA.
The poor disconnect between AS and company treatment is that some people with AS, despite the label, can potentially offer value in a multi-faceted job with oral communication skills preferred and this is because oral communication is not exactly uniform and not all AS cases pose the same company challenges. Party and social oral communication and oral communication through consulting/advising of clients may need to be separated out (these are not the same thing) and some with AS may not be at a loss for the latter.
As an analogy let's look at Dan Marino who was a well remembered football Quarterback. He offered immense value to the Miami Dolphins because of his long passing plays. But he had a handicap and it was a weak leg (he could not run to save his life). Suppose before he had his chance to shine on the field, during drafting from a lower league, had disclosed his handicap right away. He would have the organization then make the call that the ideal candidate for Quarterback would have a running play potential AND a passing play potential . This would work against Dan Marino as a poor runner and he would be passed up before given a chance to play. They might assign him as a back-up if his passing were exceptional but he would probably never make the professional league. His promotional potential would be detrimented. Instead, he on his own demonstrated on own merit that his mobility was satisfactory enough to make him a great quarterback in the areas where he did thrive (his passing completion % and passing yardage).
Now, if you insist on making a statement about AS and successful skillsets, best method is demonstrate success and climbing the corporate ladder unrevealed, and then when you are needed and the company is growing because of you, then you can do as you like and your position will be secured. They will then have financial incentive to keep you right where you are, AS or no AS.
Most companies have good intentions too. It's rare that they want to discriminate against you on purpose; they just want to succeed financially and reputationwise and absent demonstrated experience, will use whatever else they can to score candidates against other candidates for positions. This means you need to put your best version of yourself forward and not put anything in the picture that will diminish any preferred competencies in any of the positions you are shooting to obtain. Right now, AS is a toughy because of the disconnect between oral communication being a highly valued area of skill and the perception that AS has a shortcoming in all oral/social interpersonal communications . It is much easier to demonstrate through experience that your other skills as a person with AS , overcome any social shortcomings you may have, than to straight up go through the disability system.
Last edited by EricS39; 06-30-2014 at 05:59 AM..
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