Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Although your co-worker was intrusive and perhaps rude, she likely is a well-adjusted person who can't quite grasp why work is the only fulfilling thing in a person's life considering work is usually done so that one can lead the life they want to lead. facial expressions.
Plus, she showed she has empathy, so, of course, the OP cannot understand that.
Truthfully, given his behavior on this thread, his coworkers should be ostracizing him. He isn't worth their time nor concern. Judging by his first post, his family already realized that, as I sense it from his abnormal relationship (appearances) with them.
You don't care what your family and friends think, but want the opinions of people on C-D?
While I agree that having a good rapport with the person responsible for your ability to maintain a paycheck, I seriously question the value of that at the expense of all other relationships. Having career goals and ambitions is nice, but life is about more than climbing the corporate ladder, isn't it? Or, shouldn't it be? Have you ever read "The Company Man"? It's an interesting short story.
Outside rapists, pedophiles and other societal scum, I can't fathom thinking of someone as "worthless" (as you described your coworker). Maybe a therapist can help you figure out how to reach your goals and find a bit more joy in daily life without having to label others' "value" based on your own ideas of how they should be.
No you wouldn't. Because what you would have would be someone so maladjusted that he wouldn't be able to work with anyone else in the office, so needy that he has to attach himself to his boss like a leech, and so incompetent that he has to work a 10 hour day just to get things done - probably because he has to do it all without the help/assistance/cooperation of any of his "worthless" co-workers.
Therapy is in order. Perhaps the OP has some form of mild autism or other disorder that interferes with his ability to connect to others; or perhaps he was victimized as a child; or perhaps he's just a jerk. Regardless, therapy could help, if for no other reason than that he seems genuinely unhappy and is suffering, even if it IS as a consequence of his own actions and attitudes. There is a clear disconnect between his outer and inner reality. While I actually do have some sympathy for his suffering, I also worry about him going postal against his "worthless" co-workers one day soon.
OP, your life is out of balance. At best. You need to take responsibility for your own actions and learn to play well with others. Other people do not exist for the sole purpose of advancing your career or otherwise meeting your needs. That is a morally bankrupt attitude and one which is clearly reducing not only the quality of your life, but that of everyone around you. I guarantee you, your boss does not go home and meditate upon the Wonderfulness That is You.
EDIT: OK going to the other thread I see the OP WAS victimized as a child. DEFINITELY - therapy is in order. And no, if I were your age instead of old enough to be your mother, I would not date you. I would not encourage anyone to date you as you are. You cannot buy companionship with your "good job". You yearn for companionship while at the same time disdaining it. This makes you abusive towards other people, labeling them as "worthless". You live in isolation because you fear being hurt, but that isolation is destroying you and driving people away.
Go. Now. Therapy. You need to heal and you are clearly not capable of doing that on your own. You need help. Needing help, needing other people in your life, these are not signs of weakness. Getting help when you need it is a sign of strength and resilience. When you move from needing people in your life and hating that in yourself, to wanting other people in your life without feeling guilty, then you will be able to have the companionship all human beings need and deserve.
What's really sad about the OP is that things can fall apart really fast at any job these days. Re-orgs, mergers, and buy-outs can happen to any company and you can easily go from employee of the month to being asked to leave completely out of your control.
What do matter to anyone in life is those you surround yourself with and that's your friends and family they will be with you for as long as you invest time in them.
As for work, I would put in these 2 cents.
Most people who become leaders are not the best employees at their position. They know how to find people like you who will do all their biding and hard work. Advancement usually comes with the approval of more than one person not just your direct manager.
You are the lead rat being put into this rat race and how long can you race for? What is the cheese at your rat race? Is it just a small piece or a big piece that will last a long long time?
I struggle with this, because how can life outside of work provide for you? Who is going to get a job because their family likes them? And couldn't I just lie about my personal life if I encountered a boss who cared about my extracurricular activities?
As far as dating: I have no use for other people if they don't affect my career. Why bother when it won't advance my career prospects? I keep hearing about balance, but all I see are people my age depending on mom and dad's credit card while putting in a half-assed effort at work. Is that balance? Is that what I should emulate? It's as if people have a social life in order to advertise that they have a social life.
Maybe you should date so that you can learn how to better pleasure the boss when he needs it?
All kidding aside, get a life.
What happens if and when you are laid off due to budget cuts etc? If you define your life by your job, you will be in for a world of pain.......
I worked my fingers to the bone at one job. No one would believe if I summed up my responsibilities. One person couldn't really do it all but I did SOOO much and really there was one other person working hard to get things done. All that to say my boss didn't even know what I'd accomplished. Did he bother to check? Did he think I sat around all day like all the rest? OMG, when a new commander told me what he wanted done and how tough it would be I told him I could just run him a report and give him all that info instead of having to collect it manually. He was astounded that I had actually done my job. UGH. I'm so glad I don't work there any more. It was a drain and a no-reward place. But lucky for them I got them all set up in the blank database so they can procede to not use it and screw it up. Whew that felt good!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Whew that felt good!
