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I need advice for my wife. She works in a medium sized law firm for 2 attorneys who are partners. She is constantly berated and was screamed at by one of them today, causing her to have a panic attack.
In the UK, this would be considered harassment and I could most likely invoke ACAS to help.
Oh top of that, they bother her during her lunch and have basically set her up to fail. It's hard for me to come home and see her so distraught. She is applying for other jobs, but no luck yet.
What can we do? Should she just quit? This is making her ill.
Well, this is not the UK. Attorneys are like that.They are the most unpleasant people to work for. I would prefer to work at funeral parlor, that's how much I hated them. I used to be a litigation paralegal for 5 years and I felt that way almost all the time. I was very good at my job. I couldn't take their "personalities." I went to several different firms. I found lawyers abusive, nasty, spoiled, and very cheap when paying salary. If they're not being openly hostile, then they're passive aggressive "tyrants" with a smile and do all kinds of things to make your life miserable. I tried to go to a different area of the law where the lawyers would be more "relaxed" in terms of temperament; say, like patent law, elder law, or non-profit law. Once you're pigeonholed in one area of the law it's nearly impossible to move out of it. I wasted five years of my life with lawyers. You're not stating anything new, that I've never experienced or saw others go through. Landlords also don't like to rent to lawyers because they're battle-axes always looking to grind someone to get money out of them for the smallest things.
Your wife needs to just either leave to a better job or well, get fired. Working for lawyers is like working for a prison warden.
I say get layed off and collect unemployment, if all else fails.
Well, this is not the UK. Attorneys are like that.They are the most unpleasant people to work for. I would prefer to work at funeral parlor, that's how much I hated them. I used to be a litigation paralegal for 5 years and I felt that way almost all the time. I was very good at my job. I couldn't take their "personalities." I went to several different firms. I found lawyers abusive, nasty, spoiled, and very cheap when paying salary. If they're not being openly hostile, then they're passive aggressive "tyrants" with a smile and do all kinds of things to make your life miserable. I tried to go to a different area of the law where the lawyers would be more "relaxed" in terms of temperament; say, like patent law, elder law, or non-profit law. Once you're pigeonholed in one area of the law it's nearly impossible to move out of it. I wasted five years of my life with lawyers. You're not stating anything new, that I've never experienced or saw others go through. Landlords also don't like to rent to lawyers because they're battle-axes always looking to grind someone to get money out of them for the smallest things.
Your wife needs to just either leave to a better job or well, get fired. Working for lawyers is like working for a prison warden.
I say get layed off and collect unemployment, if all else fails.
I've been trying to tell her to look for non-legal work, even if it means a pay cut. I even suggested that the best thing might be if she were let go, but I don't know the legalities of it, or if she would be eligible to collect UI (and we cannot survive on my income alone).
Thanks for the advice. I will continue to try to convince her to get away from the legal field, even if she has to swallow some pride.
She must either grow a thicker skin or quit if the job is making her "ill".
Growing a thicker skin does not give someone the carte blanche to bully and scream at someone in the middle of an office. I would certainly love to meet this so-called "man". People like that are very easy to bring down. What worries me is my wife. She is suffering because of this. No amount of thick skin will shield her from that kind of abuse. If it happens again, the guy is going to have me to deal with and it won't end well.
Growing a thicker skin does not give someone the carte blanche to bully and scream at someone in the middle of an office. I would certainly love to meet this so-called "man". People like that are very easy to bring down. What worries me is my wife. She is suffering because of this. No amount of thick skin will shield her from that kind of abuse. If it happens again, the guy is going to have me to deal with and it won't end well.
Has your wife talked to her bosses quietly and rationally in a professional way? It's possible they're so used to doing business a certain way that they see nothing wrong with it and have no idea how their actions and delivery are affecting your wife. If having a meeting with them accomplishes nothing she should address her concerns in writing to them. If your wife simply rolls over and has a behind the scenes panic attack then nothing will be resolved.
I very much advise you against pitting yourself against your boss's wife in her defense. This would not be a sensible thing to do at all.
I'm being bullied and harassed at my current position too. I'm actively and aggressively looking for another job. Sadly that's all you can do in this situation. Lawsuits rarely succeed.
Has your wife talked to her bosses quietly and rationally in a professional way? It's possible they're so used to doing business a certain way that they see nothing wrong with it and have no idea how their actions and delivery are affecting your wife. If having a meeting with them accomplishes nothing she should address her concerns in writing to them. If your wife simply rolls over and has a behind the scenes panic attack then nothing will be resolved.
I very much advise you against pitting yourself against your boss's wife in her defense. This would not be a sensible thing to do at all.
Yes in all counts. She has spoken to HR twice too. I did advise her to document it all and put it in writing.
She is terrified to go in today. The guy is clearly messing with her.
I'm being bullied and harassed at my current position too. I'm actively and aggressively looking for another job. Sadly that's all you can do in this situation. Lawsuits rarely succeed.
Wrong on so many levels.
Another reason why I am trying to convince my wife to move to the UK (where I came from). Nowhere is perfect, but you have certain rights in cases like this. ACAS would be all over the slimeball fast, especially if an issue like anxiety is involved.
Another reason why I am trying to convince my wife to move to the UK (where I came from). Nowhere is perfect, but you have certain rights in cases like this. ACAS would be all over the slimeball fast, especially if an issue like anxiety is involved.
Maybe you should learn a little more about employee rights in the US. The US invented litigation as we know it today () and your wife should certainly and at least check with your local Labor Board to see what, if any, recourse she may have through them.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around an adult being "terrified" to go into work ... What exactly has the HR department told her when she has spoken to them and why hasn't she followed up on those meetings with written confirmation?
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) and your wife should certainly and at least check with your local Labor Board to see what, if any, recourse she may have through them.