Please Help: What do I do about this? (Kent: rental, good credit)

[SyrisRodello]

To begin with, I live with a physically violent parent. I live in Kent, Washington State.

I am a single father of 2 children. They live with their mother, and I won't bring them here where I live due to the condition of my mother. I am 35, employed full time and live with my mother. I am caucasian and moderately healthy.

Before I state what is going on, let me state why I live here. I was married for 7 years, and we had our own home. When my wife left for someone else (who made more money) She took my kids with her. As it stands now, I get to see my kids whenever I want which is a good thing. But I refuse to bring my kids to my residence because of my mother. I live here because my divorce cost me Everything. My career, home, rental history, credit history (That took a drop from almost 700 to under 600) and my car. I had no choice but to move in with the only relative I have, my mother. After I moved in, she made me sign a lease agreement and things were okay for about a year. That's when things got worse.

My mother screams at me every single day. She calls me White NI**ER and White trash. She has come upstairs and struck me many times across the face because I gave her an answer she didn't like. I wasn't rude to her, She just didn't like the answer. Many times, she would take my personal possessions and keep them from me out of spite. I let that go many times though because I don't want to fight, and then some time later, the item she took is sitting on the counter. Several times, I would buy food using foodstamps (And I don't get very much) And she would take the food and pour it down the drain or throw it in the trash. Just recently, she screamed at me "You're a F**KING NI**ER And You're a F**KING NI**ER lover", and that night she slashed my tire, admitted it and laughed and walked in the house. Then she sent me a text message that said "Please God Let (My name) Die." and then "Please God Take (My name's) Life" Calling the police won't do any good, I did that once about six months ago, they arrived and told me I can deal with it or I can leave.

She changed the mailbox to a secured mail box so now I have a po box. Prior to the mail being delivered to the po box, she would take my mail and say "Watch this you F**king NI**ER." And set the mail on fire. She would burn it. She has broken into my room, cut the lock on two of my storage chests and she burned pictures of my kids and bragged about it to me. She often came upstairs and slapped me and pushed me into the wall and kicked me in the groin. One time when I tried to leave she struck me from behind in the back with a wood log.

There were times when things would be calm and peaceful, then she would start up again, like a small flame in a dry forest, things would just ignite. I am in college and I go to work full time, I see my kids as often as I want, but I can not afford to get a place of my own due to my rental and credit history being destroyed. (as stated above) I don't have friends to stay with, and my income at my new job is substantially good, but not in such a way that I can afford to save up any money to leave. I swallow my pride and deal with it but I don't know how much more I can take.

Every day that I am gone, (at work or with my kids) I have a fear that I will come home, and everything will be destroyed or burned. I refuse to be a person standing on the side of the road holding a "Please Help" Sign. My dignity won't let me do that. MY new job is one that does not allow me to live in my truck in some forest somewhere. If that were permitted, I would do that in a heartbeat. I don't know what my options are, I know there is legal counsel, but what would that get me? a lawsuit against her and no place to live in retaliation? There has to be some other option.

[sassyseattle]

"where there's a will, there's a way"
You need to get out of there, that's my first thought. Believe me, people without good jobs or good credit can do it, and you can, too. There are loads of less expensive places to live. I live near your area and you wouldn't believe how cheap my rent is (of course, it is certainly no mansion).

The fact that you put up with it reminds me of people in relationship/domestic abuse situations. Often, they won't leave either, regardless of the injuries and other abuses they may suffer. Building self-esteem and self-confidence, often helps one realize they do not deserve such treatment, and they can finally escape.

Your situation is not so different. Even though she's your mother, you are still a victim of abuse, and there is help available. Hook up with any domestic violence support groups and resources you can find.
In Washington, there is help available from DSHS as well as private, non-profit organizations. You just need to do your research.

I also think you should post in the non romantic relationships forum, you may find more help.

Good luck!

[Westernfrog45]

To put it bluntly.....what would you do if you didn't have her place to fall back on? That answer is the solution you are looking for.

[sll3454]

You don't have to have your own place. If you are working full time, you can afford to rent a room. Check craigslist.