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I am a newly divorced mother of a nine and three year old. I currently live outside of the Atlanta area, and want to move to Washington, DC. Right now I work for a good company (media), but I am in a dead end job with horrible hours. (Have tried for three years to find a better job) In order to advance I would have to move, but I still have a strong desire to move whether with my current employer or not. I am a very driven person, and I am going back to school for a third degree in web design, (I have a BFA-Speech and a MS-Management) but I feel so trapped here in Georgia. I love DC., and lived there for a short time three years ago, but because it did not work out, no one is supportive of me returning. (I only have an aunt there) Three years ago my ex and I lost our home, filed for bankurpty and I was unemployed. Plus we had a boat load of personal problems. We had a chance to move to DC, both of us having jobs, and I took it. Mind you, we were still in the middle of whether our marriage was going to work or not, but I was just trying to do what was best for our family. My ex hated DC, and decided not to move with us. I moved back to Georgia so my children could be close to their dad and both sides of the family. Now I feel so guilty for wanting to return to DC, but I need to be able to support my children. My ex is not a bad person, but as far as being a hands on full time dad, helping put them through college, etc. you can forget it. If I do decide to move, I want to do it while they are still young. I do not hate Atlanta, but compared to DC (I grew up in NY) it just has so much more to offer in terms of employment, culture, etc. I would not move unless I have a job first, and I want to save up at least $10,000-$15,000 before moving. Has anyone been in the same position or can offer some advice. Thanks.
I've never been in this situation, but my personal opinion is that you're not being selfish. You're trying to make a better living which will allow you to provide a good life for your kids. You've lived here before, but a thing to be aware of is the cost of living. If you have better hours but are forced to commute an hour or so each way to survive, that may not be better than your current situation.
Anyway, that's just my opinion. The distance from family could be difficult for them, but then again it's not like you're going to a foreign country, or even California.
When you say you like DC, do you mean the district proper, or the suburbs as well? Because with kids, one thing you do really need to consider is their education. DC's schools are pretty awful. Suburbs are better. While moving may give you better job opportunities, and by extension a better quality of life for your kids while they are kids, they really need a quality education if they are to enjoy a better life when they reach adulthood. So long as you are considering their education and their futures, I don't htink you are being selfish.
As for whether or not simply living with distance between you and your family is inherently wrong....of course that's not true. Millions of people the world over do it. Physical geography is not required for emotional closeness.
When I was there I lived in the Waterfront area and loved it!! This time I thought about living in Maryland and maybe working in DC, since schools in Maryland are much better. But you are right, I know the schools in DC are not so hot, but public schools here in Georgia are not the best eithier :-(
I suppose you'll take the brunt of it - kids missing family, and family missing them.
Don't know if there is any right or wrong answer though.
I kinda object to throwing the dad under the bus online though. I don't know any father who can both be expected to be a full-time dad AND be expected to have enough money to put them through college when they are still yet little kids. (I kinda object because this dad thing is not easy, being one myself!)
Nontheless, outside of that...you do have to find work that you like and do what you need to do, etc.
If you believe that moving up here is going to give you the best opportunity to provide the best life for your children then, no you are not being selfish. Because you are divorced, the decision is entirely yours. I'm sure if you and your ex are cordial then you can both work out some arrangements so that your children can see their father and that side of the family. I don't know what your income is like and what you are considering, but I agree that you should definitely look at the suburbs as an option. I wish you and your family the best, I know this must be very difficult.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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As someone from a broken home, I think if moving gives better chances for your kids do it. For most of the period while my dad was still alive I lived in VA with mom. Dad lived in NC. I don't think distance would stop any REAL dad from being a dad. If he aint there for the kids in GA, he won't be there in DC. Why hold yourself up if the dad isn't acting right.
I am a newly divorced mother of a nine and three year old. I currently live outside of the Atlanta area, and want to move to Washington, DC. Right now I work for a good company (media), but I am in a dead end job with horrible hours. (Have tried for three years to find a better job) In order to advance I would have to move, but I still have a strong desire to move whether with my current employer or not. I am a very driven person, and I am going back to school for a third degree in web design, (I have a BFA-Speech and a MS-Management) but I feel so trapped here in Georgia. I love DC., and lived there for a short time three years ago, but because it did not work out, no one is supportive of me returning. (I only have an aunt there) Three years ago my ex and I lost our home, filed for bankurpty and I was unemployed. Plus we had a boat load of personal problems. We had a chance to move to DC, both of us having jobs, and I took it. Mind you, we were still in the middle of whether our marriage was going to work or not, but I was just trying to do what was best for our family. My ex hated DC, and decided not to move with us. I moved back to Georgia so my children could be close to their dad and both sides of the family. Now I feel so guilty for wanting to return to DC, but I need to be able to support my children. My ex is not a bad person, but as far as being a hands on full time dad, helping put them through college, etc. you can forget it. If I do decide to move, I want to do it while they are still young. I do not hate Atlanta, but compared to DC (I grew up in NY) it just has so much more to offer in terms of employment, culture, etc. I would not move unless I have a job first, and I want to save up at least $10,000-$15,000 before moving. Has anyone been in the same position or can offer some advice. Thanks.
I left GA for that same reason. well, not the same reason, but I agree, that it's "more" here.
Sometimes, you have to do what's best for you, and if your family cares enough about you, they'll understand it. If they don't, find a new family, screw them, because you only live once and happiness is so far in between.
But sometimes the "best" or "more money" doesn't justify being alone in an environment that could tax your mind. I sometimes miss my real good friends a lot and to be older and starting all over in a new city is a emotionally very difficult thing.
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