Everyone in my neighborhood hates each other (upper-class, transplants)

[Winterfall8324]

I grew up in the DC suburbs, and before leaving one devastating fact was evident:

Their was an undercurrent of unknown between all of us. Sure we had friends and family circles we would talk to/hang out with, but our neighbors, forget about it.

When I went on a walk no one would say hi back, the HOA meetings my parents went to were a drama show of strangers talking behind each others backs and being angry and vindictive.

The only time a neighbor would start a conversation with us is to get angry or passive aggressive about a garbage can being outside or something else that affected their own lives.

And the feeling was worse among others, no one would even smile to each other. My parents are use to it as they have lived in this country since 1983, but even they recognized how different this was from Iran.

I think as people get richer and society develops, community dies because people only care about themselves and their money and their liability. Roads destroy town centers and no one works with each other.

And the suburbs were beautiful too with creeks and woods but god forbid as a kid we played their. Then the adults would stop in the middle of the road to tell us they would go to the county administrators if we play their again.

The only thing kids were allowed to do is play in our own backyards and be discrete.

I think America is like this but have any of you experienced this in the suburbs? Is it different from from Urban/Rural living?

[adelphi_sky]

Originally Posted by Winterfall8324

I grew up in the DC suburbs, and before leaving one devastating fact was evident:

Their was an undercurrent of unknown between all of us. Sure we had friends and family circles we would talk to/hang out with, but our neighbors, forget about it.

When I went on a walk no one would say hi back, the HOA meetings my parents went to were a drama show of strangers talking behind each others backs and being angry and vindictive.

The only time a neighbor would start a conversation with us is to get angry or passive aggressive about a garbage can being outside or something else that affected their own lives.

And the feeling was worse among others, no one would even smile to each other. My parents are use to it as they have lived in this country since 1983, but even they recognized how different this was from Iran.

I think as people get richer and society develops, community dies because people only care about themselves and their money and their liability. Roads destroy town centers and no one works with each other.

And the suburbs were beautiful too with creeks and woods but god forbid as a kid we played their. Then the adults would stop in the middle of the road to tell us they would go to the county administrators if we play their again.

The only thing kids were allowed to do is play in our own backyards and be discrete.

I think America is like this but have any of you experienced this in the suburbs? Is it different from from Urban/Rural living?

I think there are nuances between different subcultures, i.e. class, race, generation. My neighborhood has a Pride breakfast every year. We have a lot of neighbors walking the neighborhood. You see a group of neighbors talking on any given night. My neighborhood is a mix of old, young, gay, trans, African, African American, white, and latino, upper-class, upper-middle, middle, and low income.

Probably sounds exceptional. But it is my experience from my doorstep.

[LesLucid]

We’ve been here 25 years. We have great neighbors.

[lookingbutnotlost]

My neighbors in the suburbs are nicer than the ones in the city.

[Winterfall8324]

Originally Posted by adelphi_sky

I think there are nuances between different subcultures, i.e. class, race, generation. My neighborhood has a Pride breakfast every year. We have a lot of neighbors walking the neighborhood. You see a group of neighbors talking on any given night. My neighborhood is a mix of old, young, gay, trans, African, African American, white, and latino, upper-class, upper-middle, middle, and low income.

Probably sounds exceptional. But it is my experience from my doorstep.

Immigrants and young people tend to be friendlier because they have not become accustomed to the individualism of America. But they soon conform as well.

The Chinese couples who have moved into our neighborhood were very outgoing and friendly at first, but after it was not reciprocated, they stopped.

This is just my opinion of course.

[Jalux]

Well, it's easy to hate the jerks that make up the DC region, so I can't say that I'm surprised by your observations.

[Flamingo13]

Originally Posted by Winterfall8324

I grew up in the DC suburbs, and before leaving one devastating fact was evident:

Their was an undercurrent of unknown between all of us. Sure we had friends and family circles we would talk to/hang out with, but our neighbors, forget about it.

When I went on a walk no one would say hi back, the HOA meetings my parents went to were a drama show of strangers talking behind each others backs and being angry and vindictive.

The only time a neighbor would start a conversation with us is to get angry or passive aggressive about a garbage can being outside or something else that affected their own lives.

And the feeling was worse among others, no one would even smile to each other. My parents are use to it as they have lived in this country since 1983, but even they recognized how different this was from Iran.

I think as people get richer and society develops, community dies because people only care about themselves and their money and their liability. Roads destroy town centers and no one works with each other.

And the suburbs were beautiful too with creeks and woods but god forbid as a kid we played their. Then the adults would stop in the middle of the road to tell us they would go to the county administrators if we play their again.

The only thing kids were allowed to do is play in our own backyards and be discrete.

I think America is like this but have any of you experienced this in the suburbs? Is it different from from Urban/Rural living?

Wondering what is making you bring this up now???? BTW, my neighbors are GREAT!

[Veritas Vincit]

I dont think thats typical of America, but it does seem a common enough observation in the DC area. Truth is that its got very few rooted communities, a lot of transplants and immigrants, and also a lot of people with jobs that give them a very high opinion of themselves.

[Winterfall8324]

Originally Posted by Flamingo13

Wondering what is making you bring this up now???? BTW, my neighbors are GREAT!

Conversation with my parents.

Everyone is so selfish and thinks only of themselves and their inner circle, nothing else matters.

[bufflove]

Originally Posted by Winterfall8324

Conversation with my parents.

Everyone is so selfish and thinks only of themselves and their inner circle, nothing else matters.

That's a bummer you live(d) that way, but it's definitely a YMMV situation. I've been in my current house for only about a year and have relatively strong relationships with most of the people on my block. Lent my extension ladder to the back neighbor yesterday because a piece of his gutter fell off and needed to be reattached. My wife attended the baby shower of our next door neighbor last weekend. The neighbor on the other side is a ridiculous, anti-Hispanic racist, but I know that because we have regular conversations and he invited me out for drinks a couple months back. More broadly, the neighborhood is very active on NextDoor and yes, some of that is cranky ppl complaining about trash cans, but most of it is supportive in nature.