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Hi,
It has been a year since my son was diagosed on autism spectrum and I am still not comfortable telling around about his autism.
the other day my doctor was inquiring about what preschool am sending him and I started crying after telling him that he goes to Sp. Ed. public preschool. Why is it so difficult to tell people?
How did you tell around about my sp. need child? Whom do you think needs to know? when is the good time...how long to wait.
I am not in denial but dont want others to see him anything other than a playful child. After knowing about my son, most do look at him with different eyes meaning feeling bad for him and me. I dont want anyone to feel small for me or him.
I want to shout to everyone that - HE IS FINE AS HE IS.
I told my family and friends right away, but my son was diagnosed moderate/severe when he was 2 (he will be 5 in a few weeks). He is also non-verbal and stims alot and has all the characteristics of classic autism so it was pretty obvious. The only thing that has driven me crazy over the years is a know-it-all sister-in-law (who has no children) and my mother-in-law. Everyone else has been supportive and great.
If anyone has ever judged my son, they've certainly never been brave enough to say it to my face. Of course, there is absolutely no one alive today who has earned the right to judge any one else and especially a child. I don't care what the world thinks about my son, he is who he is. There is no such thing as "normal" anymore, we all have our quirks and differences. If his autism is not noticeable to anyone except you, then it could be that no one needs to know. It's all up to you
my family and some close friends, a few a church that interact with him since he is an acolyte at church this year (He has Aspergers amd adhd and a few other dx). His best friends mom so she would know whats up. Funny thing is that we told a couple of family members on dhs side and that was 1 yr ago and have not seen them since...oh well. I really don't have time to deal with folks that take pity on me or my family cause we like it how it is and could not imagine it any other way.
We told family members ,friends and neighbors about a month after the school system suspected that he had autism. He had been in developemental preschool for about 2 months before we started to put all the pieces together as to what it was we were dealing with. Those first few months it was hard just to even say the word or read anything about it. We were in such grief. Now several years later , we have no problem telling anyone we come into contact with but it took awhile to get to that point.
Last edited by go falcons; 03-03-2011 at 03:30 PM..
Reason: spelling
I find in daily life it is better to say what my child needs or is affected by rather than state the diagnosis. Not everyone is as educated on autism and just stating it can conjure up unnecessary prejudice. However, I will say 'my daughter is sensitive to certain sounds', or she's just overwhelmed right now', if something comes up in public.
There is a great article on this, on the Disability is Natural website. It has great perspectives on all this.
I find in daily life it is better to say what my child needs or is affected by rather than state the diagnosis. Not everyone is as educated on autism and just stating it can conjure up unnecessary prejudice. However, I will say 'my daughter is sensitive to certain sounds', or she's just overwhelmed right now', if something comes up in public.
There is a great article on this, on the Disability is Natural website. It has great perspectives on all this.
How did you tell around about my sp. need child? Whom do you think needs to know? when is the good time...how long to wait.
I don't think it needs to be a whole "coming out of the closet" scene. If your kid is autistic, surely people close to you have noticed. As for the people in the grocery store checkout line, there's no need for them to know. (Especially the woman giving him the evil eye while he's handflapping-- she's in a foul mood, it's got very little to do with him, and she's not going to start being nice just because she now knows he's been officially stamped.)
As far as telling you child he's autistic...at some point he'll notice he's got an aide and other kids don't, or that his Monday afternoons are spent in therapy while his classmate goes to Boy Scouts. In other words-- if it needs to be discussed (and you may have to nudge it just a little), discuss it. But in general, the more you use the "A" word, the less of a big deal it's going to be.
At this point (mine is a teenager) we joke about it. After a stressful doctor's visit (the idea of shots brings out all the twitchy anxiety she's otherwise long since outgrown) we walked to the car and she commented "sometimes I just have to show my Aspie, y'know, Mom?"
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to tell people?
Liked yr suggestion
