Moving to Seattle as a Non Liberal (Tacoma, Bellingham: friendly, racist)
Seattle areaSeattle and King County Suburbs
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Well let me tell you.
I am from the UK. I have always liked the welcome I get when I am in Seattle.
Fast forward a few years, I recently moved here. However there is always the Seattle freeze with the opposite gender that I am experiencing. Perhaps I am too ugly and the goalposts have changed yet again with unrealistic expectation and you have to meet an unrealistic criteria just to say literally "hello"
seems its easier to be gay and hold hands than it is for a straight guy to meet a woman.
It actually is making me feel down. There are a number of reasons why I wanted to move here and this was certainly one of them to find and build a future together with someone. No effort being made, pre-judge. It's ridiculous. no wonder there are so many single people these days. Fact.
makes it even more difficult for someone who does not drink.
I don't know what this has to do with the thread topic, but I'll bite. You say there's a "freeze" with the opposite gender, but let me tell you, there are plenty of women in Seattle going round thinking the same. No one ever says "hello" or tries to strike up a chat with them. If they make an overture, they're met with little or no response. And these are not some kind of deformed-looking people; they're perfectly pleasant-looking, approachable, intelligent university employees, or whatever. Also let me say that I've been to small social events around Seattle, and typically, the men all stand to one side, surveying the room without making a move. Even if the women in the room go up to them one by one, and try to make conversation, nothing happens. They fail to respond to any of the women in the room who approach them.
What kind of effort do you make to engage women who cross your path, and what kinds of places do you make this effort? Are you very selective about the women you try to approach, perhaps only going for a certain type, or having high standards of appearance that may doom your effort? Do you ignore the women who make some gesture in your direction? And btw, none of the single women I know in Seattle drink, nor do I. It's more common than you think. They'd all be happy to meet you.
R4T - thank you. I find it hard to believe about women going or thinking the same thing in my large experience (btw, not "battling" here at all). I am not selective about whom I chose but rather always (especially on these "dating" websites) get rejected no matter what. Or even when I don't show my picture... they "love" what they read then as soon as my picture comes out...bam, they are gone.
No effort to be made. No nothing but instead the continuous moaning and groaning about "decent guys" not existing continues when there are plenty. They cannot stand still but always "Search".
R4T - thank you. I find it hard to believe about women going or thinking the same thing in my large experience (btw, not "battling" here at all). I am not selective about whom I chose but rather always (especially on these "dating" websites) get rejected no matter what. Or even when I don't show my picture... they "love" what they read then as soon as my picture comes out...bam, they are gone.
No effort to be made. No nothing but instead the continuous moaning and groaning about "decent guys" not existing continues when there are plenty. They cannot stand still but always "Search".
Should introduce me to these women you speak of
Online dating is a complete waste of time unless you got a lot of cash or very, very good looking. If you really want to make online dating work you need to get professional photos, not waste your time reading profiles and just send out mass messages to women. Even some very handsome guys I have talked to only get like a 5-10% response rate. Women online,even non-attractive ones, are all treated like movie stars and are bombarded with lots of messages. It's a numbers game and it is better place for hookups for sex than long-term relationships.
I am wondering how many women do you ask out on a day-to-day basis? You say you are very unattractive. How bad is it? Are you deformed? Are you just below-average, overweight, etc.. Obviously, if you are deformed, cosmetic surgery would be best option. If you are just not that handsome, which many guys here are just average looking you just need to try harder and not worry about rejection. If you are just a below average looking guy if you ask out 5 or 6 girls a day you should be able to hook up time to time.
Moaning and groaning is about the least sexy thing you can do and most women pick up on that quick and will run away from you faster than you can sigh and say WOE IS ME.
Seattle has a lot of shamed-faced people who do not say hello when you walk by and are rather introverted in demeanor. However, most of them are not inherently mean or cruel people. I've learned just because people act smiley and friendly doesn't mean they won't punch your jaw sideways if you say the wrong thing to them. I've always found people in Seattle to be a bit cold, shy and reserved but overall less hostile. People here seem to have to get comfortable with you and know you a bit or have some type of repeated social encounter or environment for them to open up and be friendly with you. Meeting people on the street is very tough here. Coffeeshops are also very tough. Breweries and bars are much easier. Soon as a Seattlite touches beer they start to smile . Many women here are rather scared, due to the number of sickos walking around the streets here. I watched a girl get molested walking to Safeway market while I was sitting across the street outside a coffeeshop sipping my coffee. Suddenly, I see him walk next to her and she screams and starts yelling at him. Then, I figured out what took place, took a picture of the guy as he started to walk away and gave a statement to the cops when they arrived. She was grateful for my help, but you can see how terrified she was and she was crying. Sadly, we can thank Seattle's wonderful city government for pampering and allowing these predators and sickos to wander the streets. There is a lot of scared women here because of these episodes.
So, you have to take that into account that lot of girls here (most from not street smart backgrounds) will be terrified of random guys approaching them. You need a bit of game and to come off as non-threatening. Since people are so shy, quiet and introverted you have to accept being outgoing , talkative and picking up on women will be met with a bit of contention. However, you just have to fight through that. Worrying about rejection is pathetic. Worry more about being alone and not saying hello to that pretty girl means you never had any chance.
R4T - thank you. I find it hard to believe about women going or thinking the same thing in my large experience (btw, not "battling" here at all). I am not selective about whom I chose but rather always (especially on these "dating" websites) get rejected no matter what. Or even when I don't show my picture... they "love" what they read then as soon as my picture comes out...bam, they are gone.
No effort to be made. No nothing but instead the continuous moaning and groaning about "decent guys" not existing continues when there are plenty. They cannot stand still but always "Search".
Should introduce me to these women you speak of
Oh, I see; you're encountering these difficulties on online sites. What you need to do is get out in real life more. Mix, mingle. Try dance venues: salsa dancing (there's usually instruction given before each dance night. And don't go to the Meetup ones), or Balkan folk dancing, or Swing. Join hobby groups, hiking groups, REI travel seminars, etc. Volunteer for enviro orgs, polit action groups, a sister city committee, whatever. Check the weekly calendar in the newspaper to see what community events there are, and what classes and regularly-scheduled activities there are. Haven't we discussed this before, on here?
Number games? It's shallow once again... why should humans treat each other in such a manner? They never used to 15+ years ago! They knew what commitment was and the qualities a human possess - not solely on looks like a life and death matter.
Number games? It's shallow once again... why should humans treat each other in such a manner? They never used to 15+ years ago! They knew what commitment was and the qualities a human possess - not solely on looks like a life and death matter.
I don't know what you're talking about here; I don't understand this post. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with the post of mine you responded to.
Number games? It's shallow once again... why should humans treat each other in such a manner? They never used to 15+ years ago! They knew what commitment was and the qualities a human possess - not solely on looks like a life and death matter.
Lost Soul, I never said I liked the game, but that's how it is.. Rather than cursing the game, learn how to play..
I have learned to just accept that people in the modern world are a bit more conceited, superficial and less personable. There are some advantages and disadvantages to all types of people. I don't have to worry about people burning down my house or ransacking my village and raping my female family members. But, yeah, there are some disadvantages of the mindset and culture of modern people as well.
However, you will never get to meet any lady if all you do is kvetch and not go up and talk to them.
I live right in the heart of the city in one of the Northern neighborhoods and people here are pretty icy walking down the street. Every girl acts as if you are about to attack her. Most of the guys act very annoyed if you make eye contact and say hello too. I just smile and say hello and yeah it can be offensive to them and that is their problem. I find people in stores and shops to be very polite and friendly. SOme are a bit reserved, but act real polite (more than any city I have visited) and help you out. I notice that people are shy and have a hard time holding conversations some time. Others are a bit mistrusting. I never feel like the people are angry or hostile, but rather questionable of any "stranger's" intention. This culture is quite prevalent in Washington and the Northwest, but more so in Seattle.
Reach out and touch someone. Flirting very modestly with women here will do them a lot of good. If more men do it, it will help break some of this "Seattle Frostiness". Rather than act like it is a chore, treat it is as an extracurricular activity and engage in it like a sport. Try to improve more and more your skills and never take anything of it personally.
Find places that are not too remote or empty and where you see a lot of women. The main drags of every neighborhood (Ballard, Fremont, Wallingford, Green Lake, U-District, etc), Pike's Place Market. Avoid trying to pick up on women out on the streets of Capitol Hill and Belltown for most part, because people seem more paranoid in that area and there is too many sketchy people. Although, even in those areas there are some places you can go. Go up and start trying to chat up with the single-looking women you see walking by. Capitol Hill and Belltown are better neighborhoods to meet women in group like settings or for structured events. These are Seattle's two most cosmopolitan neighborhoods and you are more likely to meet people from other places as lounges, bars and clubs (avoid Weekends like the plague). In comparison, other Seattle neighborhoods are more cliquish and people tend to go with their friends to establishments, especially women. Although every SEattle neighborhood is getting a bit more cosmopolitan, including Phinney, Greenwood, Green Lake, Ballard and Fremont.
Rather than complaining just try 4 or 5 pickups a day and let me know your results. Try not wearing nerdy clothing .. Nice jeans (bought at Nordstrom or the Rack, e.g.), long button-down shirt (un-tucked) or stylish t-shirt. Or you can be a bit more suave and wear slacks, khakis, etc with a tucked button down shirt.. If you really like showing off wear a nice sports coat or blazer. No short sleeve button down shirts unless you are on the beach or living in the tropics; which Seattle isn't.
Last edited by RotseCherut; 05-03-2017 at 08:47 PM..
Rosie: I stopped read after the first sentence. Why should I have to lower myself and "play" the game? THAT's the #1 problem right there. There is no need for that AT ALL whatsoever....
I have morals and ethics and decency and will not, under any circumstances, compromise that. I may be butt ugly but have a damn good heart and soul that women keep moaning they cannot find a decent guy with... their ideal is Hollywood type people or think they can literally order a man from a factory and out it comes - yup, no kidding!
Some people are professional whiners. If you are less attractive find a woman twice as attractive as you are, even if that isn't much. Stop whining and the poor me beta male annoying crap.
By the way, aren't we off topic?
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. Many women here are rather scared, due to the number of sickos walking around the streets here. I watched a girl get molested walking to Safeway market while I was sitting across the street outside a coffeeshop sipping my coffee. Suddenly, I see him walk next to her and she screams and starts yelling at him. Then, I figured out what took place, took a picture of the guy as he started to walk away and gave a statement to the cops when they arrived. She was grateful for my help, but you can see how terrified she was and she was crying. Sadly, we can thank Seattle's wonderful city government for pampering and allowing these predators and sickos to wander the streets. There is a lot of scared women here because of these episodes. 
