Black Woman Considering moving to SD (Los Angeles, San Diego: hotel, living in, restaurants)

[Tinyblu]

I am a professional black woman in her mid 30's that DESPERATELY needs to get out of NC. Sadly, I have been victimized by this state for my entire life, and despite living in the "big city" (only a deluded Charlottean would think that), I am totally fed up.

A little about me: I am WAY too open minded for NC. I am looking to get away from the conservative, "religious", numb skulls that live here. I also LOVE nature. If I had my way, I would be either on the beach or hiking every day which is what appeals to me about San Diego. Likewise, the heat in NC (namely the humidity) is unbearable, and though I could tolerate snow if I had to, it still amazes me that all grocery stores are cleared of milk and bread and the entire city shuts down at the first sight of a flake. In SD, I wouldn't have to worry about that.

What I'm looking for: A place with AWESOME weather and diversity (I think this may be a challenge in SD). I want easy access to hiking trails or beaches, and a place that readily accepts that there are 30-something single women in the world who DO NOT want to get married or have children.

Basically, I need a break from the Southern stereotypes where you have to be placed in a checkbox category: are you this race or that race? Are you "saved" (seriously, if you don't go to church in the south, they chase you around town with pitchforks). Are you rich or poor? Are you gay or straight... SERIOUSLY... WHO CARES??? I want to live somewhere that allows me to just be and where everything isn't DEEP fried (apparently eating healthy makes me "white").

Though I appreciate my culture, I don't want to be solely defined by it. I am a HUMAN and want to be appreciated for that. Finally, I would like access to fine cuisine and culture every now and then and places to relax for the "grown and sexy". I prefer places where I can have a glass of wine and hear some nice music over dropping it like it's hot with a bunch of 20-something drunks.

So... is San Diego a good place for this? My research on the forum makes it seem like I should keep looking. If SD isn't the place, could someone tell me about some other places on the West Coast where I could get some of the above mentioned perks? Thanks in advance!!!

[echo42]

Welcome home.

[ViennaSausages]

Odd, you mention San Diego for nature, then you post about New York City....

[shmoov_groovzsd]

Originally Posted by ViennaSausages

Odd, you mention San Diego for nature, then you post about New York City....

Are you referring how she referenced 'NC' as in North Cackalacky? Nothing about NYC in that post.

To the OP,

Yeah traditional culture in the south and even other parts of the country can be a bit trying. Especially regarding marriage, relationships and being somewhat of freethinker.

As far as 'fine' cusine, its really not here in THAT way. At least in how it is measured in any ratings book or publication that seeks culinary sophistication. There are really very good restaurants here, but not world class. Try Vegas or LA for that, but the good news is its fairly close to SD.
Now, when it comes to great local cuisine, yeah we have fish tacos and things like that. Which IMHO are unmatched in the US. You just cant get it as good here as other places I have been to. So, while its not 'fine' its certainly unique.

One of the other great things about SD is how friendly it is to vegetarians. We are 'flexetarians' (seriously I have heard this term, not kidding) where we eat mostly everything except red/white meat, but will eat fish. Tons of great options here for that.

SD does sound like a good place for you to set up shop otherwise. If you are pretty outgoing anywhere, it just make it that easier to find friends or at least connect with others that share the same interests.

If you have a job or expertise that is fairly mobile, then that should help tremendously.

Next step is to spend at least a week out here and see for yourself. Once you book that plane ticket, come back to the forums and you will loads of good info on where to get a hotel or where to travel around the County.

[MovingAloha]

Originally Posted by shmoov_groovzsd

Are you referring how she referenced 'NC' as in North Cackalacky? Nothing about NYC in that post.

To the OP,

Yeah traditional culture in the south and even other parts of the country can be a bit trying. Especially regarding marriage, relationships and being somewhat of freethinker.

As far as 'fine' cusine, its really not here in THAT way. At least in how it is measured in any ratings book or publication that seeks culinary sophistication. There are really very good restaurants here, but not world class. Try Vegas or LA for that, but the good news is its fairly close to SD.
Now, when it comes to great local cuisine, yeah we have fish tacos and things like that. Which IMHO are unmatched in the US. You just cant get it as good here as other places I have been to. So, while its not 'fine' its certainly unique.

One of the other great things about SD is how friendly it is to vegetarians. We are 'flexetarians' (seriously I have heard this term, not kidding) where we eat mostly everything except red/white meat, but will eat fish. Tons of great options here for that.

SD does sound like a good place for you to set up shop otherwise. If you are pretty outgoing anywhere, it just make it that easier to find friends or at least connect with others that share the same interests.

If you have a job or expertise that is fairly mobile, then that should help tremendously.

Next step is to spend at least a week out here and see for yourself. Once you book that plane ticket, come back to the forums and you will loads of good info on where to get a hotel or where to travel around the County.

^^^What Shmoov said! I'm a Black woman who loves it here, but I'm old and married, so my experience and desires may be slightly different from yours.

I think you should come out for a visit or if you can afford it, longer than a week. That way you can travel around the area and also go up to LA and see if that may fit your wants. You may even want to consider the Bay area. Not trying to disuade your from San Diego, but since you want to make the change and think you would like California, you should examine different areas.

It is quite lovely out here and despite what many of the California Haters may say, but a visit to see if this is the right place for you is definitely a wise move.

[bigdaddy5]

LOL, good ol' "Murrica".

You'll find "white and uptight" everywhere you go. I've worked/befriended folks in SoCal who are immigrants from other states. I've also worked with Born Again Christians who always asked why I was smiling, "Did I repent, yet?". Whatever.

Sure, give SoCal and SD a test drive, see if it fits your needs. You won't find everything you're looking for but you'll probably feel better about leaving NC.

[tonyinsd]

The big thing I'm noticing from black people here is the concern about diversity.

I think you'll find that people really don't care about what color your skin is. There are exceptions to the rule, but it's tought to be prejudiced when you've got so many people of different ethnic backgrounds and so many marriages and kids with mixed races.

That's one thing the Klan is right about. When you get people of multiple races interacting, mingling, marrying and raising kids, race gets muddled real quick and people don't care.

[kettlepot]

I really believe that on all of the issues you have mentioned, weather, religiosity, career, married v single, being single and in your 30s/40s/50s, San Diego is fine with all of that. Beaches are easy to reach. True back country hiking is a bit more difficult.

What you might have an issue with is dating. If you want to date within your race, pickings are slim (5% or less of the population). If you want to date outside your race, pickings are decent, but that doesn't guaranty you will feel the love back. People are attracted to whom they are attracted. If you don't give a rat's behind about dating, no one is going to press you on that point and you should do fine here.

But let me add one last thing, a southern accent that includes grammatical eccentricities which might be accepted in the South, will disadvantage your career here.

[thepinksquid]

As others have stated, generally speaking people just overall care less about race here than other places in the US.

[Joy74]

Originally Posted by Tinyblu

I am a professional black woman in her mid 30's that DESPERATELY needs to get out of NC. Sadly, I have been victimized by this state for my entire life, and despite living in the "big city" (only a deluded Charlottean would think that), I am totally fed up.

A little about me: I am WAY too open minded for NC. I am looking to get away from the conservative, "religious", numb skulls that live here. I also LOVE nature. If I had my way, I would be either on the beach or hiking every day which is what appeals to me about San Diego. Likewise, the heat in NC (namely the humidity) is unbearable, and though I could tolerate snow if I had to, it still amazes me that all grocery stores are cleared of milk and bread and the entire city shuts down at the first sight of a flake. In SD, I wouldn't have to worry about that.

What I'm looking for: A place with AWESOME weather and diversity (I think this may be a challenge in SD). I want easy access to hiking trails or beaches, and a place that readily accepts that there are 30-something single women in the world who DO NOT want to get married or have children.

Basically, I need a break from the Southern stereotypes where you have to be placed in a checkbox category: are you this race or that race? Are you "saved" (seriously, if you don't go to church in the south, they chase you around town with pitchforks). Are you rich or poor? Are you gay or straight... SERIOUSLY... WHO CARES??? I want to live somewhere that allows me to just be and where everything isn't DEEP fried (apparently eating healthy makes me "white").

Though I appreciate my culture, I don't want to be solely defined by it. I am a HUMAN and want to be appreciated for that. Finally, I would like access to fine cuisine and culture every now and then and places to relax for the "grown and sexy". I prefer places where I can have a glass of wine and hear some nice music over dropping it like it's hot with a bunch of 20-something drunks.

So... is San Diego a good place for this? My research on the forum makes it seem like I should keep looking. If SD isn't the place, could someone tell me about some other places on the West Coast where I could get some of the above mentioned perks? Thanks in advance!!!

Anywhere in CA would be better than NC. Los Angeles is more diverse than San Diego though.