30 Year Old Gay Guy moving to San Antonio (Houston, Dallas: renter, loft)

[tbarnett62]

When are you moving? I'm considering a move as well.

[SweethomeSanAntonio]

Originally Posted by Robert123

Hi BigdogsTX, That was another great post. I, too, am a gay guy interested in gentrification. I’m originally from Chicago. I certainly hope that the SA Main Street area gentrifies in a gay direction because everyone needs a "place." However, I'd love to hear feedback regarding a couple of reasons why I think this may not happen in San Antonio.

Cities like San Diego enjoy an influx of young gay people from all over the country who flock there to express their gay selves, free of family repression and rejection, to therefore form an alternative, and accepting, cocoon. It would seem to me that this would never be the case in San Antonio because the largely Hispanic culture is very family oriented and closeted. Gay people (or any people really) tend to stay in San Antonio for family reasons, and if there is closeted-ness involved, this may explain why gay people stay "discreet" in the suburbs. Mom, dad, cousins, brothers, sisters, grandpa, and grandma are in town, and armed with Rosaries! When I was considering a move to San Antonio, I chatted with a ton of gay guys on gay.com to get info. Apart from being hung-up on how "straight-acting" they were (can you say internalized homophobia?), almost every single person said, “My God, why would you want to come to SA from Chicago?” They thought I was nuts. Then I’d ask them why they stayed in SA if it was so bad, and they would invariably say that they would love to leave but they stayed because they had family in SA and I guess they felt that they couldn’t leave them (or Texas in general—but that’s another post!). Second, I know this may sound harsh, but it takes a population of corporate salary-earning gay people with disposable income to keep a gay culture and its organizations thriving, and San Antonio does not have this. When I’ve gone to clubs in SA and have waited in line outside, I’ve felt like I was in line at an unemployment office. This is not the feeling I’ve gotten at clubs in other cities where people are much more put-together. Why would gay people without family connections in SA choose this over a better city? Furthermore, I would doubt that there is a market for an improving, sustainable, and thriving gay culture in SA. Southeastern gays flock to Atlanta; Midwestern gays flock to Chicago; mountain region gays flock to Denver or Dallas. South Central gays flock to Houston. Any gay people who crave a cosmopolitan edge, and who are not happy with the dinner party culture you describe, would skip SA and go to the nearest existing gay hotspot that is more livable because of its more progressive social values (Austin or Houston) and sense of style. For these reasons, it is my opinion that there is no geographical, cultural, or social rationale for SA to import the population that would allow a gay culture to take flight. BigdogsTX, I do applaud you though for your hard work and I appreciate your spirit.

Yea closted city huh? Ranked number #1 in the nation for percentage of gay couples raising children.

[trnmeon]

San Antonians who are happy here just can't seem to grasp that this place is just not for everyone. Anyone who's done any amount of traveling will come to San Antonio and notice it's distinct lack of an urban, cutting edge, or progressive vibe.

And as a gay person, San Antonio is definitely a closeted city. The culture here is of creating and maintaining a family, and although most here are not homophobic, I don't think San Antonio is the most accepting place of gays and lesbians.

[SweethomeSanAntonio]

Originally Posted by trnmeon

San Antonians who are happy here just can't seem to grasp that this place is just not for everyone. Anyone who's done any amount of traveling will come to San Antonio and notice it's distinct lack of an urban, cutting edge, or progressive vibe.

And as a gay person, San Antonio is definitely a closeted city. The culture here is of creating and maintaining a family, and although most here are not homophobic, I don't think San Antonio is the most accepting place of gays and lesbians.

It is not closeted at all, just as liberal as Houston, Dallas or Austin. The Chief of police hosted the San Antonio gay parade, Fiesta Texas has held gay day at the park. Just because San Antonio is a historical looking city, doesn't mean it is non-progressive. You need to open your eyes and take another look! Urban vibe or cutting edge? San Antonio is urban, it's downtown is vibrant, it has vibrant neighborhoods, arts districts where a majority are gay.

[wehotex]

Originally Posted by SweethomeSanAntonio

It is not closeted at all, just as liberal as Houston, Dallas or Austin. The Chief of police hosted the San Antonio gay parade, Fiesta Texas has held gay day at the park. Just because San Antonio is a historical looking city, doesn't mean it is non-progressive. You need to open your eyes and take another look! Urban vibe or cutting edge? San Antonio is urban, it's downtown is vibrant, it has vibrant neighborhoods, arts districts where a majority are gay.

just b/c the chief of police participates in a gay parade does not make sanantonio an enlightened place. on the flip side of that event, the local bible thumpers staged an HEB boycott when its management donated a piddly $300 for a Pride event. when you factor in the heavy handedness of the catholic and baptist churches over their flocks here, i don't see how anyone could think of sa as tolerant of gay folk.

[ryneone]

Originally Posted by wehotex

just b/c the chief of police participates in a gay parade does not make sanantonio an enlightened place. on the flip side of that event, the local bible thumpers staged an HEB boycott when its management donated a piddly $300 for a Pride event. when you factor in the heavy handedness of the catholic and baptist churches over their flocks here, i don't see how anyone could think of sa as tolerant of gay folk.

Im a homo and yes San Antonio is very accepting. Been with my other half for almost 2 years and we have yet to run into discrimination. Yet to get snickered at yet to been made to feel uncomfortable. We eat out a lot hang out at gay and straight clubs and have yet to have a problem.

[Chaka]

Originally Posted by trnmeon

San Antonians who are happy here just can't seem to grasp that this place is just not for everyone. Anyone who's done any amount of traveling will come to San Antonio and notice it's distinct lack of an urban, cutting edge, or progressive vibe.

Does living and working in Africa, Asia, Europe and the west, midwest, and east coast and travelling extensively throughout each not count as any amount of travelling outside San Antonio?

No, this city is not for everyone. It certainly isn't equivalent to SF or Chicago. But what I see daily in SA are a number of people creating that cutting edge, urban, progressive vibe, instead of just complaining that there is none.

[smitty12]

Originally Posted by trnmeon

San Antonians who are happy here just can't seem to grasp that this place is just not for everyone. Anyone who's done any amount of traveling will come to San Antonio and notice it's distinct lack of an urban, cutting edge, or progressive vibe.

And as a gay person, San Antonio is definitely a closeted city. The culture here is of creating and maintaining a family, and although most here are not homophobic, I don't think San Antonio is the most accepting place of gays and lesbians.

Is it my imagination that with the exception of Hello, that the majority of the people who see it this way are San Antonio natives who have only visited but never lived in these other places?

It seems that most of the transplants to San Antonio from possibly more urban, cutting edge, or progressive places do not hold this strong of an opinion....

It seems like people are suffering from the grass is greener syndrome...

[SweethomeSanAntonio]

Originally Posted by wehotex

just b/c the chief of police participates in a gay parade does not make sanantonio an enlightened place. on the flip side of that event, the local bible thumpers staged an HEB boycott when its management donated a piddly $300 for a Pride event. when you factor in the heavy handedness of the catholic and baptist churches over their flocks here, i don't see how anyone could think of sa as tolerant of gay folk.

All cities have their religious groups, you will find gay hate outside castro in San Fran. I don't think a city has to have gay flags on ever corner to make it more gay friendly. The bigger the city the more gay friendly it is. San Antonio's biggest event, Fiesta, one of the largest festivals in America, has an event called Coronation. Coronation is the opening event of Fiesta, it is gay as can be.

[wehotex]

Originally Posted by SweethomeSanAntonio

All cities have their religious groups, you will find gay hate outside castro in San Fran. I don't think a city has to have gay flags on ever corner to make it more gay friendly. The bigger the city the more gay friendly it is. San Antonio's biggest event, Fiesta, one of the largest festivals in America, has an event called Coronation. Coronation is the opening event of Fiesta, it is gay as can be.

san antonio is the 7th largest city in the country! there goes your theory about large cities , i've lived in other parts of the country (mostly calif) and do know that there are more conservative areas that usually surround the central city (more liberal areas). but you typically don't find a mega church on every street corner like you do over here. and btw, it's "cornyation", not "coronation". happy fiesta.