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"Also, moving to the city for hobbies and activities that will last a few months to a year, and then you will leave the area to move to the beach doesn't make much sense to me. You will be leaving these friends soon anyway."
That's true. It's more about the quality of my retirement (I'd rather spend it having fun with friends, however temporarily, than sitting around bored in a place that doesn't suit me).
"Also, moving to the city for hobbies and activities that will last a few months to a year, and then you will leave the area to move to the beach doesn't make much sense to me. You will be leaving these friends soon anyway."
That's true. It's more about the quality of my retirement (I'd rather spend it having fun with friends, however temporarily, than sitting around bored in a place that doesn't suit me).
So how much time are we talking about? From the time you retire until your obligation to this other person is done? You still haven't answered that.
In my opinion, buying a quirky property that needs renovation, and that would be tricky to sell, would be a horrible mistake. It always costs more, and takes twice as long as planned to do a renovation properly. If you are living in it at the same time it is stressful. You won’t have much time during the renovation to enjoy the benefits of the new temporary area.
Also in my opinion, it is a waste of money to move twice.
Sounds like you are stuck, just like others have said- you don’t really know where you want to move for retirement, your personal quirk is that you can’t make yourself rent without owning, and you don’t want to be a landlord.
"Also, moving to the city for hobbies and activities that will last a few months to a year, and then you will leave the area to move to the beach doesn't make much sense to me. You will be leaving these friends soon anyway."
That's true. It's more about the quality of my retirement (I'd rather spend it having fun with friends, however temporarily, than sitting around bored in a place that doesn't suit me).
Then maybe your real issue is not about moving. Maybe your real issue is a fear of not knowing what you will be doing with yourself when you don't have to go to work every day.
Driving an hour to activities in the city will be much easier when you don't have to do it after an 8 hour workday. You also will be spending time and energy decluttering, getting your house ready to sell (whether you move once or twice) , and researching beach locations. That can keep you busy for a few months to a year.
So how much time are we talking about? From the time you retire until your obligation to this other person is done? You still haven't answered that.
It's not something I can predict exactly. My obligation may be over tomorrow, or it may last another four years. I'm guess-timating that the two-year window for capital gains may be just about right. In general, I think there's more to recommend the move than not. It's just a matter of working up the courage and fortitude for it...
I'm still conflicted!
Keep in mind, also, that it's not as if the minute I'm "free," I'd be moving to the beach the next day; that's only when the search would begin. So I have to consider not only the quality of my life before that time, but for quite a while after that time while I'm traveling and exploring different areas. I'd want "a life" at home while planning and taking trips, and being in a big city would faciliate that (I could take uber to the airport rather than drive my car the more-than-an-hour distance to it, for instance).
"Then maybe your real issue is not about moving. Maybe your real issue is a fear of not knowing what you will be doing with yourself when you don't have to go to work every day."
Yes, that's a very real fear. While I have hobbies and friends in the big city, I don't in the small town where I currently live. My family is for the most part gone now, most of my old friends have moved away, and my time here has been spent working during the week and commuting to the other location on weekends. Without my job, I would be sitting in this town bored to death, socially isolated, and inconveniently located (still having to commute) to the things I want and like to do. Yes, I would have more *time* to commute, but that wouldn't make commuting any more pleasant. I suppose I could give up my current interests and "make a life" in the small town where I currently live, but that would be a very different kind of life. I've stayed here for job/family and can't say I really fit in.
"Then maybe your real issue is not about moving. Maybe your real issue is a fear of not knowing what you will be doing with yourself when you don't have to go to work every day."
Yes, that's a very real fear. While I have hobbies and friends in the big city, I don't in the small town where I currently live. ...
(Disclaimer- I am not frugal and will often spend or lose money to simplify life, especially in real estate).
I'd stop worrying about capital gains. It's imposing a time limit/constraint that you could do without.
Too difficult for a certain type of person to cut the apron strings from Mommie (or whomever)
Not sure all the facts are accurate in original post.
Sudden occurrence of having significant 'friends' an hour or so away.
And many many posts of being alone in life.
And extreme off-the-charts worry about how to fill time in retirement spoken about all the time in this forum constantly by this person.
I have no "Mommie" (or whomever).
Whatever!
Call them acquaintances, then, and there's nothing "sudden" about it since I've been commuting on weekends for decades. They are people with whom I share my hobbies in which no one engages in my current small town.
Most of my life, I was not "alone in life." In recent years due to various circumstances, yes, I am quite.
I don't agree that considering "how to fill time in retirement" is an "extreme off-the-charts" concern; just search this forum on any given day.
Thanks for your helpful (?) input!
Last edited by otterhere; 11-19-2019 at 08:28 AM..
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,641 posts, read 11,956,110 times
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You need to prioritize. No decision will make you 100% happy. Sometimes, it's easier to consider what will make you the least unhappy.
Trying to flip a house in 2 years sounds incredibly risky to me...far more risky than simply renting for a couple of years. Also, how will you renovate a house and caregive at the same time?
Finally, very few decisions in this life are final. At least make a decision and try something. At least that will keep you moving forward.
Is there a chance you will make a mistake? Sure. So what? Nobody knows the future.
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