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Something you bought at the Dollar Store has sentimental value?
Old VCRs? 30 year old portable televisions? No, make that 40 - I remembered having one that long ago.
old makeup and shampoo?
Speaking of VCRs, she had a VCR in the den where Papaw used to watch TV. Dad wanted the VCR to "play home movies." He has a box of VHS tapes that (I think) he's already mostly digitized. He has at least one VCR himself.
She gave me this old cassette player/radio that looks like a forerunner to a boombox. It powers on, but the radio tuner doesn't pick up anything. She was seeing if I could get it repaired. I have no cassettes. I told her I'd look into it, but it's going to Best Buy today for electronic waste disposal.
And WHEN did this woman become totally dependent?[didn't she recently have a hip replacement or something that went well?] Was this information added later as fuel?
She's not totally dependent, but even after the hip replacement her mobility is impaired enough that she can no longer live safely in her house by herself (which has a ton of stairs, being a trilevel). The OP has said she's spending most of her time at an aunt's house now, which has fewer stairs to negotiate.
Honestly, OP, the best solution would be for both your grandma and your aunt to sell their houses, then pool the money to buy a new place that is a single-story. That would not only work for Grandma now, it would also work for your aunt down the road when she becomes elderly and has trouble with stairs. (My grandmonther and aunt did this in order to get out of rapidly deteriorating neightborhoods, and it worked out very well for them.)
She's not totally dependent, but even after the hip replacement her mobility is impaired enough that she can no longer live safely in her house by herself (which has a ton of stairs, being a trilevel). The OP has said she's spending most of her time at an aunt's house now, which has fewer stairs to negotiate.
Honestly, OP, the best solution would be for both your grandma and your aunt to sell their houses, then pool the money to buy a new place that is a single-story. That would not only work for Grandma now, it would also work for your aunt down the road when she becomes elderly and has trouble with stairs. (My grandmonther and aunt did this in order to get out of rapidly deteriorating neightborhoods, and it worked out very well for them.)
My aunt has a townhome. There is a drive-in garage that has a door going into the main hallway. All the bedrooms, bathrooms, and laundry are on the top level. There is a basement, and it has its own garage, but is used for storage only.
My aunt's income was cut by about 40% last year to remain in the local area. I have no idea what she could qualify for on her current income.
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
You need her to "entrust" you with the task. Get her to allow you to make the decisions for her in her absence. Then you can use your common sense, certainly about outdated food items and trash and bags of "ephemera". Has she given you permission but you're still hesitating?
If she doesn't have room...and you don't have room to store it...and no one is willing to pay to have it stored then....pitch it.
She hasn't given anyone permission to go through it. We've been trying to get her to let us clean the place up for at least a year. Last year, her knee was worsening, but she didn't want to acknowledge that, and continued trying to remain in the house indefinitely.
After the knee replacement, her ability to get around on the stairs was even worse, and she basically had to stay with my aunt. Over the last two or three months, she's bounced between her house and aunt's, but still staying mostly with aunt.
The heat pump had to be replaced last year. That was several thousand dollars. There was some issue with the roof she had to have fixed it where squirrels had gotten in and done damage. There's a drain right outside the basement back door that is stopping up and causing water to back up into the basement when it rains hard. They aren't major problems, but I think she's more tired of dealing with that than anything else.
Last edited by Serious Conversation; 07-17-2018 at 07:48 AM..
My aunt has a townhome. There is a drive-in garage that has a door going into the main hallway. All the bedrooms, bathrooms, and laundry are on the top level. There is a basement, and it has its own garage, but is used for storage only.
Has your aunt looked into whether it would be feasible to have a chair lift installed on the staircase? That can be an affordable way to stay in a house with stairs as one ages.
Has your aunt looked into whether it would be feasible to have a chair lift installed on the staircase? That can be an affordable way to stay in a house with stairs as one ages.
It isn't in my grandmother's house. We're talking either three or four actual stairs. They checked on this a few months ago.
Keep in mind this is a small, tri-level home - only about 1,200 finished sq. ft. It isn't packed to the rafters. The upstairs is very clean organized. They have always been a bit of packrats, but it isn't full-on hoarding.
It isn't in my grandmother's house. We're talking either three or four actual stairs.
I was speaking about your aunt's house.
Townhomes are often a good choice for older people, since the exterior maintenance is done by the association - but two story ones can be a problem as far as stairs are concerned. But if a chairlift can be installed, that gets around the stair problem.
Townhomes are often a good choice for older people, since the exterior maintenance is done by the association - but two story ones can be a problem as far as stairs are concerned. But if a chairlift can be installed, that gets around the stair problem.
Aunt's condo has a pretty long stairwell to the basement. I think a stairlift would be appropriate there.
May I ask if you ever got your Mom's house cleaned out and sold?
I ask because we are in the process of doing this now. She is having a difficult time, mentally, with downsizing. She has lots of sentimental attachment to her possessions and it's difficult for her to part with them. I feel bad she's going through that but it's also better she moves into a Senior apartment, which she does not argue about.
Just wondered how you calmed down your Mom with the process.
May I ask if you ever got your Mom's house cleaned out and sold?
I ask because we are in the process of doing this now. She is having a difficult time, mentally, with downsizing. She has lots of sentimental attachment to her possessions and it's difficult for her to part with them. I feel bad she's going through that but it's also better she moves into a Senior apartment, which she does not argue about.
Just wondered how you calmed down your Mom with the process.
A timely bump.
She's fallen in the home several times over the last few months, and has continued splitting time between her home and my aunt's. She fell a few weeks ago, and while she didn't hurt herself, my aunt and my mom together could not get her up, and a male neighbor came and helped. She is finally coming to the realization that staying in the home is just not viable. My mom has since retired and has been taking grandmother to look at various one-level condo/townhome arrangements, and she seems to be excited to move.
We were able to get the basement den somewhat cleaned out and now it's just a bit cluttered. I really don't get over there much anymore with mom retired. The living areas are clean if a bit cluttered. A lot of the canned food, Papaw's old things in the garage, etc., haven't really been dealt with.
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