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Makes me glad I'm self employed. I have the best boss in the world and always give myself high marks on my job performance.
About 20 years ago my office manager wanted to sit down and talk about goals for the next year. I told her my plan was to work hard, make more money and that would be my plan every year so don't ask me again.
Since then I've never been asked for a review. You can get by with a lot of crap when you're successful.
We actually had to fill out or own evaluations then sit in a room with five supervisors while they tore it apart. Ah fun times. My last evaluation I wrote "all unicorns and rainbows cotton candy and merry go rounds" on the question about what I thought other employees thoughts about me were.
I was within my 30 days of retirement so there was nothing they could do, I even made paper airplanes from their "critique" and flew them at those bozos. Then I left at 11am for a three hour lunch.
Just think brightdoglover in a few months you'll be lounging in the town park under the shade of 150 year old cottonwood trees listening to a concert and those clowns will still be slaving away at a thankless job.
This made me laugh out loud! I'm retiring next June and am about to undergo my last ever round of performance evaluations, both my own and those for my staff. I've been doing these for about 35 years and I've hated every instance. Good riddance.
I'm contemplating some "unicorns and rainbows" responses for my own self-appraisal. My boss would have a fit!
I spent my last year at work secretly preparing for retirement. It took a lot of work to downsize and get the house ready for sale. To say I was preoccupied was an understatement. At work I spent hours and hours a week on the internet checking out potential areas for relocation, learning about RVs, and the National Parks. I did just enough real work to get by. For the last months I had lost any interest in my job. My boss seemed to have more hair brained ideas than ever. I just nodded in agreement knowing full well that most of those ideas would be forgotten or we would go in a completely different direction. My last performance review came a few weeks before I gave notice and my boss had no idea I was about to retire. It was my best job review by far. My boss had no idea I had all but stopped doing any work. He just liked my new "attitude" of total agreement with his ideas. Pathetic.
Because I work nights, there is often a lot of free time to look around online for all sorts of things. Out of sheer boredom, I started looking at land in my favorite area of Colorado and ended up buying there and formulating my plan. There is so much great information/reviews/options to look up. I am amazed at how much time my coworkers spend looking at shopping for stuff or social media, when they could be making travel plans or life plans with good information!
One coworker called me the other night with a Medicare question. She wanted to know where I got the answer and I had to tell her, I spend the night's free time looking up stuff. And no, I don't know if she's got to pay the Medicare B penalty for the rest of her life but she should have checked it herself. Even the most computer-phobic people at my job can use the internet and have to learn how to accurately use our very clunky electronic medical records (the advent of which did push a few into retirement and might still shove at least a couple more out).
I was very touched by my supervisor/friend's performance review, my final one. I guess I have been a solid mainstay on the night shift, and heaven knows I've picked up extra work- not to be a martyr or a help, but to make money for my big changes coming up. Why else?
I sure hope there's lots of bacon at my retirement breakfast. I'm counting on it.
Folks are in training for the new and improved performance system. I just said I wasn't going. Boss said ok.
At this point I couldn't care less what work-folks think of me or my performance.
Boss did ask if I could delay my retirement six months...I just said no I cannot do that.
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