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Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Maybe you had a stable environment and JOB and now you have disruption.
Embrace the opportunities (Wow... You have just completed a job, AND you have sold the house (I presume) AND you have DECIDED on a destination )
Be VERY glad you made it this far (some people actually die on the job, now that would be terrible! (and has happened to 4 of my friends over the course of 40 yrs).
If you need stability... gonna have to wait till you transition to new environment.
Do not put too much demand on yourself or others. You are FINISHED with the annual reviews and tight delivery schedules and unrealistic expectations. No one will 'Grade you' for this chapter. Make it as ez on yourself and spouse as possible. Smell the roses, give lots of praise to those who helped you reach this pinnacle. Treasure your health and time together.
I just retired June 30th 2017 and feel as if I am now having a sort of mental or emotional breakdown. I left my job/career, I am also selling my home as my wife and I are moving to another state. I am not sure what value I have anymore. Getting up and going to work every day seemed to bring value, certainly money. Now, who am I? What am I? What do I do? My question is will this panic pass, and is it somewhat normal to freak out like this when you first retire?
Thanks,
Trad
The loss of a job ranks right up there with the loss of a loved one on the stress scale. For one thing, you are now out of your daily routine, and you also are facing the fact that you are now older. Retiring is a shock, we all went through it. You getting ready to move just adds to the uncertainty and stress.
Personally, I am like you, I viewed working as an extension of myself. I had value, I was good at what I did, and I liked getting out among people I worked with and socializing. So, after I retired the first time for 3 years, an old employer called me and asked if I wanted to go back to work. I did, and that gig lasted for a while, and then I retired a second time for a year and a half. But I was bored and went to another employer and they hired me back for a day or two a week. That has expanded to me now working 5 days/40 per week, and I have no plans on retiring again.
I suggest that once you get settled in the new home that you look for some job even part time. Now you can pick and choose and do something you really enjoy. In the meantime, just relax and concentrate on the new life and home. You will figure it out when the time is right.
I just retired June 30th 2017 and feel as if I am now having a sort of mental or emotional breakdown. I left my job/career, I am also selling my home as my wife and I are moving to another state. I am not sure what value I have anymore. Getting up and going to work every day seemed to bring value, certainly money. Now, who am I? What am I? What do I do? My question is will this panic pass, and is it somewhat normal to freak out like this when you first retire?
Thanks,
Trad
Is the house already on the market? Can you hold off for awhile? That's two major life changing events at once.
Loss of a job(even when you know you're retiring) can hit you like the loss of a loved one. It's advised no moves for the first year.
If that is too late, than look for volunteer opportunities in your new state, maybe get a part time job,
I'm empathetic to your loss of identity and purpose. But your situation also proves that no matter how much a person has, some people will still find things to be upset about or feel that something is lacking in life or look at what is lost rather than what is to be gained.
You have a house and home, you have a wife, you have a new life in a different state to move to, you have plenty of money.
All of that you have and you're concentrating on the negatives. Many people do not have a house/home (an apartment instead), do not have a spouse to be close to who offers emotional support and companionship and serves as a significant other, and do not have much money.
While you're looking for new things to do in life, remember to be grateful for everything you have which is a whole lot more than many people have. Stop taking all that you have for granted. Practice gratitude. Maybe you do already - but you need to concentrate on all the many blessings you have in life. While developing more interests (avocations) in life too.
Last edited by matisse12; 07-11-2017 at 12:59 AM..
Boy, can I identify with you, Trad. Spent 40 years as a cop. After I completed my last day on the job, I had to turn in the badge I wore for four decades. It was brutal. I've been a widower since 1976. Coming home to an empty house made it worse. I bounced off the walls for a couple of weeks before I realized I was a free man. And I haven't looked back.
I just retired June 30th 2017 and feel as if I am now having a sort of mental or emotional breakdown. I left my job/career, I am also selling my home as my wife and I are moving to another state. I am not sure what value I have anymore. Getting up and going to work every day seemed to bring value, certainly money. Now, who am I? What am I? What do I do? My question is will this panic pass, and is it somewhat normal to freak out like this when you first retire?
Thanks,
Trad
Trad: you ARE valuable! You DO have worth!
You served the working world and your family well.
Did you EVER have a day... where...you just didn't feel like going into work? Treat your retirement like that. A needed day off.
Also, that means you were TOO wrapped up in your work to create any other value. Work is not the ONLY thing that "values" a human.
You've EARNED it!
Now go and do all those things you never got to while you were working. So creat your own Saturday " honey do" list!
Find a hobby, any hobby. Try out different hobbies to find one you like. If you like sports, join a nearby stadium for usher, sales, even locker room"boy" and get a front seat to the game!
There has to be something, anything you are/were interested in.
Figure it out.
Maybe it's wood working like on the PBS Saturday morning TV shows.
Maybe it's tinkering with an old car, find one on Craigslist to restore.
You'll find something, right now you just lack direction and don't have a boss or customers breathing down your neck telling you what to do.
I understand how you feel. I left the state where I had lived my entire life, to move to a house in another state where we knew no one. My retirement was kind of forced on me...first, I had a work-related injury, then the business that I worked for was sold, & I wasn't part of the inventory, if you get my drift.
It was all too much too fast. I felt like you do for about a year, & TBH I'm still a bit off kilter, but it's getting better & I have a sort-of routine. I still miss seeing a paycheck with MY name on it.
My husband, on the other hand, is literally putting big X-marks every day on a calendar as he gets closer to retirement, which is soon. He is so done with it.
I think I'll feel better when he is retired. We won't be joined at the hip, but at least on the same wave length.
I find it interesting how many people have extended and extrapolated so many assumptions from the OPs one post. No where does he say if the retirement was forced, voluntary, a package, health related, and whether he has enough funds or way more than enough, whether he really enjoyed his career or not, etc, etc.
He may be dead broke, and the sale and move are a forced requirement. Or he may already have a bought and paid for vacation, now retirement home, and simply the thought of an endless vacation is daunting. Its rather odd that his first and only post is that one, and that he already has 10 rep points for it. Or he may be a long time lurker...who knows.
There are literally thousands of posts and articles everywhere related to aproaching and readying for retirement emotionally, physically, and financially....
I know at LEAST 40 recent (say from 5 years ago to last week) retirees and not one of them has regretted retirement or had any value attacks. I'm not casting doubt on the posters that have responded and gone back to work... at least half of those above have done the same for anywhere from a year to still working. Most were just bored and after they realized that their wives weren't ready for them to be home 24/7/365, all they really wanted was a long resting vacation, and time to throw off the REQUIREMENT to work mind set. Many expressed the same sentiment. " I want an addition to the house (or new car, bike, expensive rifle, expensive vacation, horse etc etc) and don't want to dip in to my funds, so rather than stress about it, I can work for more net per hour than I made working (don't need benefits or medical, etc) and don't need the money to live on, so when I get the amount I need, I can stop almost anytime."
And by far, the more successful financially the retiree, the less likely, if at all, the desire to go back to work (don't need the money, as they way over saved), nor any feeling of loss or value. Now, admittedly, the vast majority were technical people, mostly engineers, so that may have some bearing, but most all enjoyed their jobs as many stayed WAY beyond what made sense financially to do. So perhaps engineers run the "my time is still worth x dollars a week as I am valued" , so they pass through what the OP is experiencing while still working.
Last edited by Perryinva; 07-11-2017 at 05:23 AM..
Change can be scary- especially if you not making money and calling the shots of your life- as that was your main JOB-- now you go into limbo- maybe wife has a plan? I am 64+ and already preparing my house to rent or sell- and looking for EXPATS- travel buddies- I don't have a hubby- my kids are busy and what scares me is sitting alone in a house 24-7 - I rather become a nun and go to some village and help feed hungry babies in Mexico or Guatemala - or something similar- Time to reinvent yourself knowing your strengths as well as your limitations. Be brave- we all get there- sooner or later.
Plan only in 3 months at a time- then new ideas will come..
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(and has happened to 4 of my friends over the course of 40 yrs).
