Tolerance and lack of it. (conversation, community, friend, relations)
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I have to take exception here -- Nazi isn't a swear word, and while it's being used in the wrong manner -- we shouldn't give it more power by calling it the "Na word". There are still real Nazis around.... although calling them the "Na word" might drive them crazy...
I am so glad I am in a senior building in a small town. I know the manager and feel free to tell her about the things I find wrong. Haven't actually told her - have been busy getting the apt in order, but am confident they will be fixed.
I feel bad for the manager. She probably wants things to be good for the residents and has probably solved the majority of problems that she has control over.
I think you should ignore the guy. Don't change the way you come to the defense of people. You're a good person.
I feel bad for the manager. She probably wants things to be good for the residents and has probably solved the majority of problems that she has control over.
I think you should ignore the guy. Don't change the way you come to the defense of people. You're a good person.
Sorry about your sister.
Thank you for your support. The manager is a good person and does want to help but management has fired other managers for doing favors for the residents. Crazy. So this manager, if she wants to keep her job, has to tow the line with those people (mgmt.).
In my opinion there is never a good reason to call someone a Nazi. A grown man who is old enough to live here has had to have heard about what they did. He very often acts like a child (don't think it's a mental problem, more a social problem). And I do not plan to apologize to him.
I'm moving from here soon and don't believe I'd live in a senior community again (I'm 73 so certainly quality), but can't tolerate the mentality.
Got another call regarding my sister who is not doing so well. Hospice is involved and they have a strict policy with what happens. Keep them comfortable. The nurses do not always agree with what that means. It's already difficult that I know she is dying and trying to keep her comfortable as much as I am able to from this end.
Hello. I hope someone can put some light on a subject I am struggling with.
I currently live in a 55+ income-based apartment complex. Mostly women, a few men. Most in decent shape, some not so much.
The owners of this complex (they have several complexes scattered throughout the area) seem to take little interest in correcting what needs fixing, etc. For instance this past winter with all the snow we got there were areas of snow on the roof that hung over the walkways making those enter/exit areas potentially quite dangerous. Only after many, many complaints and maybe a phone call to the local TV station that features problems not being addressed did they finally get someone to clear those areas. Our maintenance guy had fallen on ice (not at complex) and has been out of work for a long time. So for a while even the sidewalks were not being plowed/shoveled. It was a mess.
Somehow about a month or two later water backed up into some of the first floor apartments saturating the rugs in the living/dining areas around 8 p.m. one night. Someone called the complex manager who came over to assess the situation. She was upset when she saw what had happened and the people thought she should "fix" it right there and then. She did call a company that came to mop up and put heavy-duty fans in the areas to dry them out. Unfortunately, the occupant of that one apartment that was affected the worst had to spend the night while the fans were running.
I know this is a long story.... sorry. Anyway, a lot of the residents got on the complex manager's case saying she "should have done this, should have done that." And some name-calling. Gosh we seniors can be mean.
I personally thought one of the owners or upper management should come over and maybe do something more helpful.
I had not gone downstairs to see for myself as I was in middle of being ill and didn't want to leave my apartment (I'm on 2nd floor). Heard a couple neighbors outside my door and I did go out to see what had happened. One of them, a man who is extremely loud, referred to the complex manager as "Nazi."
Wow, I really lost it. I hate name calling but using that one particular word was totally uncalled for in my opinion. I blew up at him for calling her that.
Now he is mad at me, doesn't speak, gives me the hairy eyeball if we see each other (we are on same floor).
Was I wrong to call him out for calling her that? I don't get why she got the brunt of the anger. Why not be angry with the complex owners/upper management? The night it happened it was a very frigid night.... maybe that's why owners/upper mgmt didn't come to see it.
People say things in the heat of an argument. "Nazi" is a term often used to describe people who are bossy and try to impose rigid rules on others. It doesn't mean "people killer" or "Jewish person killer" or anything like that, when used in that context.
It's okay to NICELY stand up for someone by reminding someone that's not a nice thing to say, or we may want to watch how hot tempered we're all getting when we get to the point of name-calling - something like that.
But you shouldn't have butted in the argument of other people. You weren't part of it. You actually left your apartment and went out to butt in to an argument that wasn't yours. Not cool.
As for why blame the manager instead of upper management or the owners? Because as the manager, she's the one responsible for the running of the property. Unless she's saying the owners are preventing her from taking action, and she's telling the truth, she is responsible for taking action, or not taking action, regarding any problems. If there were a lawsuit over it, she would be personally named, along with the owner. She is the go-to person, not the owner, who is not on the premises regularly, I assume. BUT, like I say, the argument was not yours and didn't involve you. Just because you can hear an argument doesn't make it yours.
I wouldn't crucify anyone for using the term "nazi" in that context, given that the residents are dealing with an upsetting situation.
Got another call regarding my sister who is not doing so well. Hospice is involved and they have a strict policy with what happens. Keep them comfortable. The nurses do not always agree with what that means. It's already difficult that I know she is dying and trying to keep her comfortable as much as I am able to from this end.
I think you have more than enough on your plate to worry about so try not to be too hard on yourself. You don't strike me as someone who goes around lashing out at people, for the moment...relax a little and just breathe.
I agree, sometimes that term is used for a person who is very controlling....remember the "soup Nazi" on Steinfeld. I think that was the intent in this situation. I'd just let it go, we have to choose our battles in life carefully. Yes, it was offensive but that's on him, not you. I'd would just avoid him in the future since it sounds like he's someone you wouldn't want to be around.
NYGal, I'm very sorry about your sister. It's easy to become overwhelmed when your heart is hurting. Just let all of this fall away, take a deep slow breath, and take care of yourself and sis.
Hello. I hope someone can put some light on a subject I am struggling with.
I currently live in a 55+ income-based apartment complex. Mostly women, a few men. Most in decent shape, some not so much.
The owners of this complex (they have several complexes scattered throughout the area) seem to take little interest in correcting what needs fixing, etc. For instance this past winter with all the snow we got there were areas of snow on the roof that hung over the walkways making those enter/exit areas potentially quite dangerous. Only after many, many complaints and maybe a phone call to the local TV station that features problems not being addressed did they finally get someone to clear those areas. Our maintenance guy had fallen on ice (not at complex) and has been out of work for a long time. So for a while even the sidewalks were not being plowed/shoveled. It was a mess.
Somehow about a month or two later water backed up into some of the first floor apartments saturating the rugs in the living/dining areas around 8 p.m. one night. Someone called the complex manager who came over to assess the situation. She was upset when she saw what had happened and the people thought she should "fix" it right there and then. She did call a company that came to mop up and put heavy-duty fans in the areas to dry them out. Unfortunately, the occupant of that one apartment that was affected the worst had to spend the night while the fans were running.
I know this is a long story.... sorry. Anyway, a lot of the residents got on the complex manager's case saying she "should have done this, should have done that." And some name-calling. Gosh we seniors can be mean.
I personally thought one of the owners or upper management should come over and maybe do something more helpful.
I had not gone downstairs to see for myself as I was in middle of being ill and didn't want to leave my apartment (I'm on 2nd floor). Heard a couple neighbors outside my door and I did go out to see what had happened. One of them, a man who is extremely loud, referred to the complex manager as "Nazi."
Wow, I really lost it. I hate name calling but using that one particular word was totally uncalled for in my opinion. I blew up at him for calling her that.
Now he is mad at me, doesn't speak, gives me the hairy eyeball if we see each other (we are on same floor).
Was I wrong to call him out for calling her that? I don't get why she got the brunt of the anger. Why not be angry with the complex owners/upper management? The night it happened it was a very frigid night.... maybe that's why owners/upper mgmt didn't come to see it.
First of all, I'm glad you put that jerk in his place. I can't tolerate bullies. And sometimes it takes someone to yell back at them to make them back down. I'm glad you did.
I also live in a 55+ subsidized building, and there's the building jerk here, too. He makes mean remarks, and if you say, "What?" or whatever, he then says he was joking. I finally had it the other day and I told him "Your joking feels like giving people a bad time and I don't like it." He said, "Well I won't talk to you anymore then!" I said "Good!" and slammed my door LOL.
Now, my manner was very forceful. And loud. LOL. I was very proud of myself for not calling him names, but I decided it was time to call him out on his behavior.
The problem with senior "communities" is the management and social service agencies have this fairyland idea that we will all get along like happy little elves. It's ridiculous. When in the history of man have you ever been able to put a group of 50 people together (or however many) and have them all get along and treat each other equally and with love?
There will always be the bully, the leader, the follower, the mouse, the crazy one, the stinky one, the rebel, etc.
What I have learned to do, is make my friendships outside of my building. Learned that the hard way in the last 55+ place I lived in, so when I moved here, I have avoided all organized events. But, as you know, there is still that group of people who hang around where everyone needs to pass, so they can try and learn things about you, become your friend, try to get you to do things for them, etc. In my building, that is the mailboxes at the front door, where management put a couple of comfortable chairs. So, the building jerk I mentioned, sits there, and as I went to get my mail when I first moved in, he'd ask me my name and which apartment I lived in, etc., etc. I finally had to just grunt and keep moving away from him, or I'd never get away.
Anyway, I suggest if you move, just make your friends at the senior center or other places where you volunteer, etc. No need to avoid getting a cheap apartment.
Now, on to things getting fixed immediately when there's a flood. This is totally unrealistic. I was a resident apartment manager, and legally, they just have to get it done reasonably quickly. Immediately, is not reasonable.
As to the person living in a wet apartment with a fan going - that is what renter's insurance is for. This is not the responsibility of the management. That person should have renter's insurance, like I do, where if that happens, their insurance puts them up in a hotel.
If things aren't getting done within a "reasonable" time frame, I suggest you put your complaints in writing to the corporate office. I've done this when I had an unreasonable manager, and it gets results.
I would not apologize to the jerk. And count your blessings he doesn't talk to you. The jerk in my building no longer tries to engage me. Yay!
People say things in the heat of an argument. "Nazi" is a term often used to describe people who are bossy and try to impose rigid rules on others. It doesn't mean "people killer" or "Jewish person killer" or anything like that, when used in that context.
It's okay to NICELY stand up for someone by reminding someone that's not a nice thing to say, or we may want to watch how hot tempered we're all getting when we get to the point of name-calling - something like that.
But you shouldn't have butted in the argument of other people. You weren't part of it. You actually left your apartment and went out to butt in to an argument that wasn't yours. Not cool.
As for why blame the manager instead of upper management or the owners? Because as the manager, she's the one responsible for the running of the property. Unless she's saying the owners are preventing her from taking action, and she's telling the truth, she is responsible for taking action, or not taking action, regarding any problems. If there were a lawsuit over it, she would be personally named, along with the owner. She is the go-to person, not the owner, who is not on the premises regularly, I assume. BUT, like I say, the argument was not yours and didn't involve you. Just because you can hear an argument doesn't make it yours.
I wouldn't crucify anyone for using the term "nazi" in that context, given that the residents are dealing with an upsetting situation.
Wherever did you get the idea I butted into an argument?? I left my apartment to ask what had happened...... no argument. And you must be the younger set who has no respect to know that name-calling is never the "right thing" to do. The people were expecting the manager to pull a solution out of her butt but she did not happen to have one. 8:30 at night, Sunday.
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