What to do with a retired husband. (alcohol, conversation, spouse)
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I;ve been retired since 1996 ( served 30 years in the Canadian Forces ) and I am as busy as I want to be.
Teach teen agers basic automotive repair skills, volunteer at a military aviation museum, run anti fraud classes for older seniors ( I was a Military Police investigator ) and the rest of the time I sleep......`Grin ).
If a man wants to die soon after he retires.....let him sit on the couch. It may require drastic measures, send him to the store and change the door locks , or wrap his lunch in a road map.
Seriously, it`s some times hard for a guy to face the years ahead, its scary for some. They don`t have the comfort of the `same old routine of going to work `.
I don`t actually recommend kicking him, but a `kick start `may be required, from some body that he respects......Not the wife.
Agreed, leave the poor man alone. We already work our entire lives and statistically die not long after retirement. Give him a few years to just relax, hes earned it. Im 30 and the only thing that goes through my mind at my job, while taking night classes, while the wife is at home with our newborn is that lawnchair on a beach in 40 years....yes 40 cause thats what my generation gets to look forward to.
thatguydownsouth: I am 73 and had to retire at 64 for health reasons. If I did not have to retire at that time, I would probably still be working. Don't believe that some of us people that retired "early" wanted to do that. Due to that early retirement (oh yes, two down-sizings that left me unemployed for a long time)........ my retirement income is pretty low.
Hope you have a very healthy life and are able to work until you are 70'ish...... hindsight is 20:20
Sounds like a lot of angry women, it was OK when they had a work life but now they want their significant other to be what they expect them to be. If they want to go to seminars, shopping, socializing, then go ahead, maybe their spouse doesn't want to. I can't possibly know what the woman's situation was for this story, from the perspective of the writer, the retired husband is portrayed as a couch potato. Maybe he was going through a post career depression, in that case it takes nurturing and understanding to help him through a trying period of his life. In my case, my wife and I enjoy different hobbies and interests, but we enjoy our time together.
Agreed, leave the poor man alone. We already work our entire lives and statistically die not long after retirement. Give him a few years to just relax, hes earned it. Im 30 and the only thing that goes through my mind at my job, while taking night classes, while the wife is at home with our newborn is that lawnchair on a beach in 40 years....yes 40 cause thats what my generation gets to look forward to.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal2NC
thatguydownsouth: I am 73 and had to retire at 64 for health reasons. If I did not have to retire at that time, I would probably still be working. Don't believe that some of us people that retired "early" wanted to do that. Due to that early retirement (oh yes, two down-sizings that left me unemployed for a long time)........ my retirement income is pretty low.
Hope you have a very healthy life and are able to work until you are 70'ish...... hindsight is 20:20
My husband had the type of professional job that you could easier do when you were older. Since he was making fairly good money AND he planned to work until he was 70 we did not plan our saving for retirement very well. Well, he started to have serious health problems in his late 40s/early 50s, which caused him to be unemployed for several years (blowing much of our savings) then he had to switch careers to something that paid much, much less. He became totally disabled at age 58.
(so please don't wait until you are 70 to spend some time in a beach chair & start saving for retirement)
While I am not a fan of people sitting on the couch watching TV as their major use of time - I think it's unhealthy and will likely lead to an early death - I wonder in how many cases the angry wives quoted in the article are failing to allow hubby a few months to decompress and de-stress immediately after retirement. In other words it's a problem that may self-correct in some cases, as the hubby gets tired of doing nothing.
O.K., but not in all cases. Constant nagging can produce a counter-reaction of digging in the heels. It sounds to me as if communication was probably poor all along and just gets worse when the apple cart of existing arrangements gets over-turned by retirement.
Sure, let him decompress but then, if you want to keep him alive, get him interested in doing something. Women work all their lives too and they often work two full time jobs--one outside of the home and the other is cooking, cleaning, laundry and so on.
Women seem to be more health conscious so they worry when the husbands are couch potatoes. Men don't seem to worry so much so when the wife finally retires from her job, they don't complain. Anyway, the wife usually only retires from ONE of her jobs and she still has her at-home job to work at.
Get him the cutest, most active, rescue dog in the world. It will climb up on him and kiss him and nudge him to go for walks. It will need Daddy to take it to the vet, Daddy to throw its toy to retrieve, Daddy to feed it, Daddy to go to the pet food store and buy food and treats. It will go with Daddy in the car for rides. Pets can get someone interested in living again and give them a purpose in life. A dog will keep you active.
Last edited by in_newengland; 05-18-2015 at 08:36 PM..
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