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Saying 'everything happens for a reason' to oneself or others is done upon the occurance of bad things, not upon the occurance of good things.
So 'everything happens for a reason' is a catch-all to try to make oneself or others feel better when something bad happens, even though 'everything happens for a reason' is not true in the sense of bad things must happen to us so that good things will happen to us in the future, as if one has to endure all the bad things first, in order to get to the good things.
Last edited by matisse12; 03-09-2012 at 01:35 PM..
Well, everything does happen for a reason: there is some causal effect.
X precedes the occurrence of Y. That's a no-brainer.
There is no value (good or bad) to be assigned to Y. Any Y outcome could be good for one person and bad for another.
Example:
Goofing off on the job, two people get fired (cause X). Person A quickly finds another job (Y effect) that happens to be great. Person B quickly finds a job, but gets fired again. How can you say that the Y in both cases is necessarily good?
An X event causes a Y effect (with no value). X is the reason.
Oh, please. It is understandable that trite phrases are frequently offered because there are occasions where no words are adequate. Fine.
But I'd still slap someone who was dumb enough to utter those words to me while I'm gripped with fear or grief.
If you can't say something useful than shut the hell up and just listen.
I didn't say that folks should say anything. Telling someone in fear or grief that "everything happens for a reason" is like saying at the death of a loved one that "he led a wonderful life and isn't suffering anymore."
People say things that seem insensitive, I think, because they simply don't know *what* else to say. They utter half-remembered, trite cliches to fill a void, to try and comfort someone, often without realizing that their words may have the opposite effect. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
"Everything happens for a reason" and "God only gives you what you are strong enough to handle" are two sayings that really disturb me. I don't find them comforting at all since I've had a lot of trials in my life including breast cancer. What's the reason? Why would God pick on strong people by giving them trial after trial to deal with? That's not right, kind, or loving.
newenglandgirl, that does not make sense. A Y (an outcome) certainly can have a value assigned to it - especially when it is a car wreck caused by carelessness or wrecklessness resulting in death or severe injury. The outcome is assigned the value of debilitation and devastation. There is no positive value assigned to that outcome for some people.
Well I firmly disagree with all of you.
I believe everything that happens is predestined to happen. I would not dare to say to someone that everything happens for a reason, but I do believe it. I believe that almighty God, the maker and creator of us all has predestined every single thing in this world and everything in years to come, here and hereafter. And, we can do little or nothing to change it. Yes, everything does happen for a reason. We, as small and insignificant as we are, have no knowledge of what that reason may be. But, there is a reason. Yes. There is.
So now, you may all tell me I am nuts. But that is my belief.
Mostly but "not always" the outcomes we get are caused by the decisions we make.
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