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Friends become extremely important when you get to retirement age, moving to where part of the family lives may sound great but as work and schooling will take up a lot of the families time the old guy is going to be relegated to weekends and occasional baby sitting,probably becoming bored for most of the week all by himself.
For everyday social dynamics give me my neighborhood and the friends i've grown up with in it..
Just how far away is the family ? if its a few hundred miles or a 5 hour drive i'm sure visits both ways could take care of his need to see family.
I'd tell the guy to stay put.
I don't agree that is always the case. True some are self concerned and don't atke the time but most I know do. It really depends on just how close you are really.As to making friends that just depends on the person whethyer older or young for that matter.
I see you're from TX. Maybe folks are friendlier there. I've heard plenty about other places where people definitely don't make the effort to be friendly.
I have a friend who will be retiring in a few months. Last year he lost his wife, and that was a big shock to him. He is in good health and is very active. He is wondering whether it would be best for him to move out of state and relocate near his daughter/son-in-law/grandchild or remain where he is and has spent most of his life. He has a lot of things going where he lives, including an active social life. Any suggestions?
Does it impact his finances much? Reduced or greater cost of living by moving?
I have a friend who will be retiring in a few months. Last year he lost his wife, and that was a big shock to him. He is in good health and is very active. He is wondering whether it would be best for him to move out of state and relocate near his daughter/son-in-law/grandchild or remain where he is and has spent most of his life. He has a lot of things going where he lives, including an active social life. Any suggestions?
When the kids are at work or with friends their own age and the grandkid is at school or with friends their own age where does that leave him? Is he going to be dependent on them for keeping himself busy? Waiting for them to make time for him? I vote he stays where he is with his active social life.
Friends become extremely important when you get to retirement age, moving to where part of the family lives may sound great but as work and schooling will take up a lot of the families time the old guy is going to be relegated to weekends and occasional baby sitting,probably becoming bored for most of the week all by himself.
For everyday social dynamics give me my neighborhood and the friends i've grown up with in it..
Just how far away is the family ? if its a few hundred miles or a 5 hour drive i'm sure visits both ways could take care of his need to see family.
I'd tell the guy to stay put.
This is supposed to be the Retirement Forum. How old are you people? I'm 63 - and my husband is 65. My husband and I aren't old by today's standards. My father is 92 - he's the old guy!!!! You're talking about this fellow who's younger than we are like he's feeble and has one foot in the grave. Robyn
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Originally Posted by Robyn55
This is supposed to be the Retirement Forum. How old are you people? ....
I'd say being on the AARP mailing list qualifies one for 'OLD'. Its all a perspective and each case is different (as you can see by this thread). I know some 30 and 40 yr old retirees who have one foot in the grave and also several 90+ yr olds who drive sports cars and RV's on winding Mtn roads and do NOT slow up the traffic.
labels
getting upset by generality labels
BTW, 2010 is a great yr to die (I consider I've got one foot in the grave with each gasping breath ) Could happen before I sign-of....f.....
This is supposed to be the Retirement Forum. How old are you people? I'm 63 - and my husband is 65. My husband and I aren't old by today's standards. My father is 92 - he's the old guy!!!! You're talking about this fellow who's younger than we are like he's feeble and has one foot in the grave. Robyn
P.S. I agree with your conclusion.
We're near your age and have relocated twice. It's hard work and making new (good) friends can be difficult. If it doesn't go well and you're not happy in the new place, it can be aging.
As far as the OP goes, he's looking long term and needs to make a decision that will be good for him 10 or 20 years from now, if possible, so he doesn't have to do it all over again!
He's in his early 60s. Lots of good, thoughtful comments by everyone that posted. I often wonder what I would do if I were in a similar situation. I get the impression from some of the things he's said that wanting to see his grandchildren grow up and be nearby is very important to him. He definitely will have to start over again in establishing himself and his social contacts. And he will probably be asked to babysit every now and then, but maybe he won't mind that too much. I do know a couple that moved near their kids and grandkids, primarily for the climate, and they quickly got the message across that they are not there to be convenient babysitters though. So, like everything else, that depends on the individual too.
As I stated previously we moved to within 30 miles of daughter and grandchildren. We babysit usually twice a month, enjoy going to school and sport activities, taking the kids out, etc. We also have our own friends, activities, hobbies and volunteering. We moved to this area when we retired, not knowing anyone but built a social network and have fantastic neighbors and the climate is four season.
We still spend two months a year in Hawaii, spend a month traveling in the RV with a few side trips throughout the year. Our life does not revolve around the family.
I'd say being on the AARP mailing list qualifies one for 'OLD'. Its all a perspective and each case is different (as you can see by this thread). I know some 30 and 40 yr old retirees who have one foot in the grave and also several 90+ yr olds who drive sports cars and RV's on winding Mtn roads and do NOT slow up the traffic.
labels
getting upset by generality labels
BTW, 2010 is a great yr to die (I consider I've got one foot in the grave with each gasping breath ) Could happen before I sign-of....f.....
R.I.P.
AARP (not my favorite organization) is good to go for people at age 50. At that age - you're closer to age 39 than 62 (minimum SS age) and a lot closer to 39 than 65 (minimum Medicare age). Anyone who is 30 or 40 and has one foot in the grave (unless seriously ill) - has a screw loose IMO.
And just FWIW - someone in his early 60's has a 20+ year life expectancy these days.
My only point was that people here are talking about this guy - who's younger than I am - like he's ready for an "old folk's home". Definitely not the case with most 60-somethings these days (even if we're not driving like morons with RVs on mountain roads). Robyn
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(I consider I've got one foot in the grave with each gasping breath 
) Could happen before I sign-of....f.....
