I'm 2 for 2.. (souls, America, missionaries, Krishna)
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I live 10 minutes from Palmyra NY... shall I forward that message along? I could take it down to the Joseph Smith Farm right now... they always have missionaries working there on the weekend... I am sure they could hook you up June...
I live 10 minutes from Palmyra NY... shall I forward that message along? I could take it down to the Joseph Smith Farm right now... they always have missionaries working there on the weekend... I am sure they could hook you up June...
Can they make it to Massachusetts by sundown? (For the mowing, of course. Then the church service.)
Can they make it to Massachusetts by sundown? (For the mowing, of course. Then the church service.)
I'm waiting.....
Well, Albany is 4 hours... then maybe another couple... sun doesn't go down 'til more like 9pm... heck... put headlights on that sucker and have 'em do it at midnight!
Maybe a Nashville Atheist will be interested..That way June is safe from selling her gentle soul to the "converters".
Oh, now there's a thought!
-But if June is not mistaken, her dear, sweet man Montana is out mowing his own Nashville lawn this afternoon, cursing the moles that have been attacking it. (Us heathens can do that, ya know. Curse at our own lawns. That's what makes us heathens.)
No, June says! Send in the converters! Time is of the essence! Rain forecasted for tomorrow! May Day! May Day!
This is the day that the Lord hath made! Let us rejoice (mow) and be glad!
Well, Albany is 4 hours... then maybe another couple... sun doesn't go down 'til more like 9pm... heck... put headlights on that sucker and have 'em do it at midnight!
June: Massachusetts. Quiet country setting. Huge lawn. Reasonable atheist ready to take on local Mormons for one shot deal mowing lawn. Call now. 1-800-CALL-JUNE. Refreshments provided.
Offer void where prohibited.
I'll be waiting.
June, if I were within a reasonable distance I'd be on that in a heartbeat... (although I'm not Mormon, is that a definate requirement?)....quiet country setting? I'm assuming you have a riding mower? Sounds like a wonderful opportunity to contemplate life and the meaning thereof....at least that's what I'd be doing as I was zooming around the yard on the mower
June, if I were within a reasonable distance I'd be on that in a heartbeat... (although I'm not Mormon, is that a definate requirement?)....quiet country setting? I'm assuming you have a riding mower? Sounds like a wonderful opportunity to contemplate life and the meaning thereof....at least that's what I'd be doing as I was zooming around the yard on the mower
You're a good woman, Deb, a good woman indeed!
For what it's worth: No, June DOES NOT have a riding mower. --But she's thinkin' she sure needs one! And no, Deb, June's not picky. June would care less if a bunch of big, strong Mormons, Baptists, Catholics, Evangelicals, Pentacostals, Jehovah Witnesses, Protestants, Episcopalians, Methodists, or any denominational sub-strata of Christians showed up at her house right now as June can't wait much longer. Because June finally threw her little heathen hands up in the air, in pain and torment, beseeching: "Lord! Why hath thou foresaken June?" and thus took it upon herself to commence the mowing process herself. She is presently taking a break. She still has the backyard to mow...So there is still time!
--Which sorta works better for me, that way, I'd only be "half converted" by keeping up my end of the bargain! (Which would make me what?)
Anyway, June is now done sweating, ("Oh my goodness!" they thought to themselves, "gentle June sweats? How gross!" ) and June is done drinking her "liquid refreshment" (a Bud Lite,) so all that is left is this:
To walk back outside, and either one of two things will happen. Either there will be someone out there waiting for June () (in which case, June can go back inside and start reading the Bible in thanks and praise!) or, June will be starting up that non-riding mower and finishing up the huge backyard herself.
For what it's worth: No, June DOES NOT have a riding mower.
Oh June, well that just downright sucks then ....hmm....well think of it as getting a cardio workout without having to join the local healthclub ....does that help?
I wish I could come and cut the grass for you. But, I'm not going to make it tonight. So, instead all I can do is encourage you to have a few more Bud Lights after the excruciating agony of the mowing is done. Or, you can do it while your mowing. One hand on the self-propel mechanism, the other on a beer. That's the way I do it. Just be sure not to dehydrate. At least when they come to convert you the pain of the conversion can be numbed a little bit with the alcohol. That's the way I want to go out...
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June: ready to be converted NOW!
) and June is done drinking her "liquid refreshment" (a Bud Lite,)
....hmm....well think of it as getting a cardio workout without having to join the local healthclub 
....does that help?
