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Not one person came close to addressing my point. Is there any factual basis for these hunches women have and act on or is this just typical prejudice masquerading as women's intuition and self serving behavior?
Over the years, I've seen the results of this many times. Good men screwed over and a$$holes given a free pass. Then, when the chickens come home to roost, the good men again are evaluated against a standards set by the a$$holes and more free passes are given out.
This is hardly my problem because I really don't give a damn anymore. I'm just fed up with this obvious double standard and most men with any life experience, agree with me.
I love how the subsequent posts changed the topic to whether a woman gave a man a chance to whether she was "attracted" to him. Everyone knows what causes attraction. It also causes a suspension of judgment in many women.
What you are trying to deal with is the double standard that applies to less attractive men. So often, women will look for problems that aren't there and base their decision on something that might only be a case of nerves or an inability to immediately relax in a social situation.
This is blown up into an assumption that such a man has a hidden past or some sort of awful behavioral deficiency.
As a result, they never get to know him. Meanwhile, they go out and gossip about their premenitions. No wonder many men lack confidence.
The following kind of sums this attitude up:
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
Because 'nice' is pretty much the same thing as 'bland.' Who the hell wants to be saddled with 'bland'?
Think about it. If 'nice' is the only descriptive that person can come up, then that doesn't say a lot. What about 'funny,' 'interesting,' 'big-hearted,' 'generous,' 'kind,' and rest of the universe of positives? If 'nice' is all you got, then you need to start having a life.
I ask you - how will a woman ever find out that a guy is " 'funny,' 'interesting,' 'big-hearted,' 'generous,' 'kind,' " if she won't give him time to demonstrate these characteristics? In my opinion nice is all these characteristics and a lot more positive ones too.
No wonder nice = bland = creep with so many women!
Its about looks..All the cofnidence in the world will not get your foot in the door with somebody if you look like a trainwreck..
But if you look decent or even average, confidence can be the difference maker between spending your nights with company and spending them in front of a computer screen.
I love how the subsequent posts changed the topic to whether a woman gave a man a chance to whether she was "attracted" to him. Everyone knows what causes attraction. It also causes a suspension of judgment in many women.
What you are trying to deal with is the double standard that applies to less attractive men. So often, women will look for problems that aren't there and base their decision on something that might only be a case of nerves or an inability to immediately relax in a social situation.
This is blown up into an assumption that such a man has a hidden past or some sort of awful behavioral deficiency.
As a result, they never get to know him. Meanwhile, they go out and gossip about their premenitions. No wonder many men lack confidence.
The following kind of sums this attitude up:
I ask you - how will a woman ever find out that a guy is " 'funny,' 'interesting,' 'big-hearted,' 'generous,' 'kind,' " if she won't give him time to demonstrate these characteristics? In my opinion nice is all these characteristics and a lot more positive ones too.
No wonder nice = bland = creep with so many women!
I somehow agree and disagree with you If there isn't the "it" there no man or woman is going to bother with a person. And yes, they may miss someone with the bolded bits and this goes for men and women. If a girl that to a guy is not attractive has the bolded bits how many men will care to know her long enough to find out? About the same number of women who bother with an unattractive guy, I would guess
I love how the subsequent posts changed the topic to whether a woman gave a man a chance to whether she was "attracted" to him. Everyone knows what causes attraction. It also causes a suspension of judgment in many women.
Nice girls don't do that. They know that a guy can 'seem' better or worse than he is, and gives him a chance to prove himself one way or the other.
Quote:
What you are trying to deal with is the double standard that applies to less attractive men. So often, women will look for problems that aren't there and base their decision on something that might only be a case of nerves or an inability to immediately relax in a social situation.
Nice girls don't do that. Simply being shy or awkward in social situations isn't going to scare any of these girls off.
Quote:
This is blown up into an assumption that such a man has a hidden past or some sort of awful behavioral deficiency.
Nice girls don't do that.
Quote:
As a result, they never get to know him. Meanwhile, they go out and gossip about their premenitions. No wonder many men lack confidence
Nice girls definitely DO NOT do that!
I'm guessing you're probably attracted to arrogant, condescending, judgmental drama queens. YES now I understand where you're coming from! Those girls do behave the way you describe. Here's the shocker...they behave exactly the same way toward me as they do toward you. The difference is in the guy. You choose to sulk and take their behavior out on all women. While I choose to ignore them and go find some NICE GIRLS to hang out with!
It is absolutely incredible how much of a difference having confidence in yourself increases your attractiveness to others. I'm sure this is true for women as well but I'll just talk about my own personal experience.
First, confidence is not something you either 'have' or 'don't have' and you don't need looks, status, accomplishments or possessions to have it. Confidence is nothing more than a state of mind. Confidence is closely related to relaxation and being at ease with where and who you are.
I find that my level of confidence varies a lot and it's negatively effected by:
1. Illness
2. Exhaustion
3. Stress
Now for the effect it has as it relates to women. When I'm confident:
1. Women are look at me more and hold eye contact longer.
2. I more readily notice women attempting to initiate eye contact and flirting, and I respond more easily and appropriately.
3. I'm comfortable flirting and being flirted with.
I haven't found a way to instantly 'switch' to a confident state. But I do find that I'm much more likely to feel confident when I eat properly and exercise, get enough sleep, and practice relaxation/meditation techniques. That might sound weird but think about it, confidence is basically the opposite of nervousness. So the more things you can do to create a relaxed atmosphere in your life overall, the more likely you're going to feel confident at any particular moment.
So if this guy with an ugly face and weird shaped forehead shows confidence, he would be able to able to attract any beautifiul woman that he wants ? Women who look like supermodels would be drooling all over this guy if he showed some confidence ?
So if this guy with an ugly face and weird shaped forehead shows confidence, he would be able to able to attract any beautifiul woman that he wants ? Women who look like supermodels would be drooling all over this guy if he showed some confidence ?
No, and in similar strain homely fat girls would be ignored by male supermodels, no matter their confidence. Confidence is a tool in the box. It makes the probability you fix something higher than without it, but guarantees nothing
So if this guy with an ugly face and weird shaped forehead shows confidence, he would be able to able to attract any beautifiul woman that he wants ? Women who look like supermodels would be drooling all over this guy if he showed some confidence ?
That's probably his supermodel wife in the background. YES a guy that looks like that can definitely get a beautiful woman, I've seen it time and time again. But I did NOT say he could get "ANY woman". No man can get every woman.
It is absolutely incredible how much of a difference having confidence in yourself increases your attractiveness to others. I'm sure this is true for women as well but I'll just talk about my own personal experience.
First, confidence is not something you either 'have' or 'don't have' and you don't need looks, status, accomplishments or possessions to have it. Confidence is nothing more than a state of mind. Confidence is closely related to relaxation and being at ease with where and who you are.
I find that my level of confidence varies a lot and it's negatively effected by:
1. Illness
2. Exhaustion
3. Stress
Now for the effect it has as it relates to women. When I'm confident:
1. Women are look at me more and hold eye contact longer.
2. I more readily notice women attempting to initiate eye contact and flirting, and I respond more easily and appropriately.
3. I'm comfortable flirting and being flirted with.
I haven't found a way to instantly 'switch' to a confident state. But I do find that I'm much more likely to feel confident when I eat properly and exercise, get enough sleep, and practice relaxation/meditation techniques. That might sound weird but think about it, confidence is basically the opposite of nervousness. So the more things you can do to create a relaxed atmosphere in your life overall, the more likely you're going to feel confident at any particular moment.
I am a very confident guy. That always seems to make women think I am an arrogant a**! IDK, I'll stay confident and single, thank you!!!
Certain men definitely can. I doubt very much that Matthew McConaughey for example gets turned down by women very often.
But not every woman is available to Matthew McConaughy, no matter who he is or what he wants. Some women are in relationships, some women think he's a bongo-playing douchebag, whatever. Everyone who dates gets turned down at some point, it's the nature of the beast.
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If there isn't the "it" there no man or woman is going to bother with a person. And yes, they may miss someone with the bolded bits and this goes for men and women. If a girl that to a guy is not attractive has the bolded bits how many men will care to know her long enough to find out? About the same number of women who bother with an unattractive guy, I would guess
