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I too have met one while a teenager and met with him again as an older adult and finally had enough good sense to look up his way of thinking which is wrong or right, bad or good, etc. No GREY AREAS are permitted.
I was so grateful that I now had the maturity and wisdom to figure out what I did not understand as a teenager. Many published articles in magazines will speak about the "red flags" but they are mainly the signs of one who is usually suffering from a personality disorder. You are good if you can sniff it out in two minutes.