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I think it really depends on the person. City life is a love/hate relationship for me. But the thought of going back to a small town is a depressing thought. I think if someone is really close to the fam, moving away can be hard on them no matter if they are in the city or another small town. If you move just for a relationship that is not going to be good for either of you. Its going to be one of those "putting your eggs all in one basket" pressure and that always fails in everything.
What does this country girl do for work? And for fun? What is her social life like with her family and friends? What are her long term goals for work and personal life? If things worked out and you married her, would she be a stay at home wife and mother?
Using my area as an example, if you lived around the Boston area, in order to get her country fix, she could go out to the suburbs on the weekends and go horseback riding. There are a couple of farms in the suburbs, some organic that might be enjoyable for her to work at. But there are many different kinds of country people imo. Otherwise, it's hard to say if your girl might be the country type of person that hates city traffic and congestion.
One suggestion is for the two of you to spend a few days in the area that you plan to move to and work, and see what she thinks. Have her drive around a lot and quietly observe for signs of stress and discomfort.
I've driven through VA many times, and actually there are rural areas not that far away from the urban areas. It just depends what she needs to be happy. I'd be more concerned about her missing family and old friends, and how easily she makes new close friends. She's going to need more than your company for friendship when you move.
where its a city girl who moves to the country, then you would be in for some major problems.
Nah, not necessarily. I grew up in a small city, then lived in two huge urban areas for 10 years or so, and now I live in a tiny, remote town. I'm very satisfied with my lifestyle. I think it depends more on how adaptable she is, whether or not she looks forward to the change. I guess I just think there are benefits and costs to all of the above situations and I'm just going to enjoy the benefits of where ever I am.
I know there are soooo many other factors to play, but I'd like to hear some other success or failure stories in this regard. Thanks!
I'm a suburbian American girl who moved to a big English City for my English husband. So not only did I have to adjust to city life but also had to adjust to a whole other country and culture. I don't regret it and there are many things I like about living in the city (and another country) - there is a chance I could agree to city life permanently. But my issue is more with being a 7 hour flight from family and friends in the US. If I were only a 4 hour drive from family and friends, I would have no problem with it.
I should also note that growing up, my extended family lived about a 3.5 hour drive from my immediate family - and when I was 19-20 I had a boyfriend who lived a 3.5 hour drive from me (it did not end because of the distance, trust me). So I am very used to regularly making close to a 4 hour drive and I don't think it's a huge deal. She could easily reserve one weekend a month to visit her family.
I think anytime someone moves someplace new, especially if she's grown up in the same place her whole life, there's going to be an adjustment period. But how she handles and accepts that will depend on how adjustable and accepting she is of change. Is she the kind of person who is set in her ways? Stubborn? Doesn't like to try new things and experiences? Then maybe the move is not for her. Granted, I think I was some of those things before moving to England and I feel like the move forced me to break out of these characteristics and for that reason, I'm so grateful I did it. Maybe it will do the same for her.
I grew up just outside of DC and was there til I was about 15 and my dad relocated us to a country area of Virginia. I was in a culture shock to say the least.
I was there for over 17 years and have now moved to North Carolina to a small town which I like ok.
Every couple of months we venture to Philly, PA and it is fun for about a week but after that, I would rather be in the slower paced lifestyle.
I suppose it depends what she likes. I would love to make it back to Maryland and live there, my family there lives in a more country area than we did when I was growing up....
City life sucks! Maybe you should move to the country huh?
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