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Now we are at the point of our house selling. Pretty much the bank tells us today if they accept the deal on the short sale. If we do not hear from them today, our buyers walk and pretty much the house goes into foreclosure.
Good news everyone. The house is selling and the closing date is set for the 12th of October. We have almost everything out of the house. There are some minor things left. And we've already talked about how we're seperating the pictures.
We ate dinner yesterday and for once I wasn't sitting there wondering how to get back with her. It was like eating dinner with an old friend. I'm glad things didn't end on a bitter note. Amicable is the way to go if you can.
what does that mean ? you either love someone, or you don't. if you have love, what more do you need ?
if you don't love them, then just say that. if you do, then knuckle down, and get on with your life. people are too quick to turn and run at the first sign of trouble.
i love my parents, am i in love with them ? no.
so, therefore i should walk away ?
sometimes we fight. it is not easy, and we have to work it out.
a relationship should be built on love, trust, and honesty. these are variable in quantity at any given time.
john, i'm going through a similar thing to what you did. i also look at it the same way you did.
at this stage, i'm prepared to let her go, although i will not give up on the hope that she may realise she is making a mistake. at the same time, i must begin to move on.
true love will never die, i will not wait patiently for her to fall into my arms, but, as long as i am single, i will not close the door on her.
we have to fight for what we believe in, and i still believe.
i have to believe in us, while she cannot. maybe in years to come, i'll be thankful for that
at least if it goes nowhere, i know that i could hold my head up and say proudly that i did everything i possibly could for her, and for us.
it has not ended badly, and i bear her no ill will, there will always be room in my heart for her.
i will not have to deal with guilt ? maybe we'll both move on, and be happy, maybe she'll never meet anyone as good as me, and will regret her choice ?
(maybe i'll add another borderline bipolar or two to my score.)
either way, i will look back on the time we had together with nothing but fondness, we created some very special memories, and shared some excellent times. never a cross word spoken.
john, the very best of luck to you, you have also earned that right, it seems from your posts that you acted very dignified, and did all you could.
perhaps if our partners employed the same philosophy, we would not be where we are now
Quote:
Originally Posted by LizzyNola
Take it from me. When a woman says those words (she doesn't love me the way I deserve) she is not in love with you. She may love you as a person, but she in not "in love" with you.
what does that mean ? you either love someone, or you don't. if you have love, what more do you need ?
if you don't love them, then just say that. if you do, then knuckle down, and get on with your life. people are too quick to turn and run at the first sign of trouble.
i love my parents, am i in love with them ? no.
so, therefore i should walk away ?
sometimes we fight. it is not easy, and we have to work it out.
You just said what it means right there! You love your parents, but you are not IN love w/ them. Many people have to feel that romantic love for their partner to make their marriage work. Not saying I agree w/ it, but I know what she meant.
The "I don't love you the way you deserve" line is a variant on "It's not you, it's me". She was trying to spare your feelings in this and already had her heart and mind made up. Glad to see you were able to end it on good terms and hopefully remain friends.
i need to find myself = i need to find someone else
i love you, but i'm not in love with you = i don't love you.
we're at a different place right now = (a) you're going WAY too fast or (b) i don't love you.
you are like a sister/ brother to me = i can't bear to sleep with you
i'm not ready to be in a relationship right now = not with you anyway !
we're moving too fast and i need to back off = you're a psycho.
can i call you sometime ? = if i can't get a date, or need a ride home.
can we be friends = i want to see you, but on my terms. (can you say
"booty call?)
i still care about you = i'm trying to appear sensitive, so don't tell your
friends i'm a creep, because i'd like to sleep with
them
maybe i'm a bit bitter, but that's about it. i've heard pretty much them all. i wish people would just tell the truth, and let you be angry with them. they might not love you, but if you still love them, it's far easier to move on if you can be angry with them. pussyfooting around just complicates things.
after being dumped, you're fragile enough, you don't wanna be confused by feeling sympathy for someone who's already made up their mind, but hasn't got the guts to tell you the truth.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68
The "I don't love you the way you deserve" line is a variant on "It's not you, it's me". She was trying to spare your feelings in this and already had her heart and mind made up. Glad to see you were able to end it on good terms and hopefully remain friends.
This is a story I have read 1,000 times. I am surprised she didn't throw in that old chestnut... "I love you but I'm not IN LOVE with you" as well. That is one of the standard "lines" of a woman/wife who is disenchanted.
The human animal is not designed to be monogamous. They are designed to spread the DNA for survival of the species. Happiness in marriage is conditional training and includes the maturity of both parties to understand that the long-term benefits outweigh the "butterflies in the tummy" insanity that comes with the innate sexual need to "reproduce" and spread the DNA.
So many women cannot understand this and it makes for a lot of misery in life. Apparently, your wife is one of them. You cannot instill this wisdom, it is something that she has to learn for herself. I'm sorry.
i need to find myself = i need to find someone else
i love you, but i'm not in love with you = i don't love you.
we're at a different place right now = (a) you're going WAY too fast or (b) i don't love you.
you are like a sister/ brother to me = i can't bear to sleep with you
i'm not ready to be in a relationship right now = not with you anyway !
we're moving too fast and i need to back off = you're a psycho.
can i call you sometime ? = if i can't get a date, or need a ride home.
can we be friends = i want to see you, but on my terms. (can you say "booty call?)
i still care about you = i'm trying to appear sensitive, so don't tell your friends i'm a creep, because i'd like to sleep with them
maybe i'm a bit bitter, but that's about it. i've heard pretty much them all. i wish people would just tell the truth, and let you be angry with them. they might not love you, but if you still love them, it's far easier to move on if you can be angry with them. pussyfooting around just complicates things.
after being dumped, you're fragile enough, you don't wanna be confused by feeling sympathy for someone who's already made up their mind, but hasn't got the guts to tell you the truth.
Since my divorce, I dated to soon. Waited a while. worked on myself and did some things I needed to do for me. Got my head straight and started dating. It's odd dating now. Women seem more attracted to me than before, however, I keep meeting some desperate types. I believe I'm pretty selective, but it is what it is.
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sorry john for taking your thread.
