My boyfriend doesn't want to see me as much as I want to see him? (dating, guys)
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My boyfriend and I usually hangout every Saturday and most Sundays because we have weird schedules during the week. This weekend he went to NY with his Dad so I didn't see him. I texted him just now and asked if he wanted me to come by tonight when he gets back to hangout and he said "it doesn't matter."
Now, if I lived down the block I could see it not being a big deal if I swung by for a little and left but I'm like a 45 min drive away. So if he doesn't care if I stop by or not then I'm not going to drive all the way there. Is that irrational? I told him that and then he called me insecure and that I was "starting a thing" whatever that means.
He's the one in the relationship that usually needs more space so I don't want to overstep my boundaries. I just want him to be more explicit. He's never been vague before so I don't know what to think. Any advice?
Skip the hangout today. See how things go next weekend, and if the tone of his texts during the week has changed compared to before.
IDK whether to think he was distracted by the events of his weekend, or if something else is going on, but accusing you of being insecure and of starting something is rude, and doesn't sound like he's into you. Has there ever been anything like this before? Anyway, after you respond that you'll pass on hanging out this evening because it's a long drive, leave the ball in his court to make the next contact.
It's hard to say. It could be that something happened this weekend that was really distracting for him, and it has nothing to do with you. I'd give him a bit of space now and see how next weekend goes (assuming you have plans or would normally make plans).
Due to the fact that you've had a year plus with this guy and assuming it's been going OK in spite of his space (which, is not unusual or a red flag by itself)........I would give him a lot of space. Like, full ignore for a couple days.
He may have had some type of rough weekend and is simply burned out. However, when or if you guys resume , make sure it's on your terms and clear up any misconceptions you both have.
You didn't provide enough information to help you.
Is this an isolated incident or does this kind of thing happen a lot? If it happens a lot then dump him.
But if this is the first time it happened - or - if you're aware of him having issues with his dad and he just came back from being with his dad all weekend in a really bad mood, then give the guy a break and don't jump to conclusions about him if it is about his dad and has nothing to do with you.
If he was on a trip this weekend, I can understand why he may want a bit of time to himself Sunday evening. He could have been a bit friendlier with his response - then again, we don't know what else was said during the conversation, the tone of your messages nor do we know much else about your relationship in general. Do you guys argue a lot? Does he seem to be pushing you away or was this just a one off?
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