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Is it possible to "lose" physical attraction level for your partner? For instance, when you first met her you found her attractive but couple of years later you don't anymore... you don't necessarily think he/she is unattractive but that passionate urge isn't present anymore.
Although you think that perhaps he/she has physically changed he/she claims that he/she is exactly the same as when you met. Perhaps there was something else in the beginning besides looks that attracted you to that other person and that something has now waned and you see the physical more clearly?
He gained weight within a few years (not too much of an issue) and mostly in his face (an issue for me). His facial features disappeared between double chins and double cheeks.
Every time he shoved another fast food meal in his mouth, I felt resentment.
Of course we had other problems as well, so that wasn't the reason in itself why we split.
My other ex gained 40 lbs within a few months but it didn't affect his face too much, so I didn't care.
With my second wife, I found her attractive when we first met. That could have been due to physical looks, chemistry, and compatibility. All of those were thrilling.
When I look back now, I have a better understanding of the term "love is blind". As our relationship began to go down hill, she became less and less attractive to me. Now when I see her, I just shake my head, and think to myself, what the hell was I thinking. She looks very average, and has the mindset of a child.
A former SO over the years developed really unattractive behavioral traits (biggest offender was a blistering case of insecurity, but also rage episodes), and they really affected how I viewed him/my attraction to him. His physical appearance remained the same, but he became so much less attractive to me due to fits and temper tantrums. Very childlike.
My husband and I both tend to fluctuate in weight, and the little ups and downs don't really affect attraction for either of us.
He gained weight within a few years (not too much of an issue) and mostly in his face (an issue for me). His facial features disappeared between double chins and double cheeks.
Every time he shoved another fast food meal in his mouth, I felt resentment.
Of course we had other problems as well, so that wasn't the reason in itself why we split.
My other ex gained 40 lbs within a few months but it didn't affect his face too much, so I didn't care.
I can completely agree, especially since I an such a face person, even though it has never(the face wt thing) happened to me. I had a previous gf, like your other ex, put on a lot of body weight but it didn't affect me in the least.
Yes it can happen. Men especially are mvulnerable to "the same old person". Not that it is meant harmfully, but it simnply does happen. That said, there are ways to work with it (as an example, when my wife goes braless around the house it makes me very feisty) and I'd suggest trying those.
The exact same thing happened with my last relationship--I was attracted at first but when it became obvious that he has mental problems, and esp when he kept showing up at "my" social events, he began to look old and ugly to me. Like Grumpy, I had to wonder wth I was thinking.
Of course this can go the other way too--I'm starting to look with new eyes at a friend that I always thought was really homely.
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