Am I Overreacting about this relationship issue? (dating, girlfriend, man)
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I have been with my BF for 10mths. It's been mostly LD since he's in the military. Let me explain how we met. We were supposed to go on a blind date but then his orders got pushed and he got deployed to Afghanistan. We still kept in touch and Id send him care packages.
When he came back in March, we met and made it "official". He was only here for two weeks then he had to go back to where he was stationed which is Delaware. (we are from the same hometown, he grew up here). Anyways we kept in touch while he was over there. He was there about 6 mths, came back for about 3wks then had to go back to a new duty station in Germany.
While he was here, One of his older sisters pretty much booked him for Family dinners, church events, asking him to take her to different places. She would make plans without asking him first. He felt bad bailing on all of them so we didnt get to spend as much time as I would have wanted. But we did spend time together. He never sees his family/friends so I support him spending as much time as he can I really love him so I decided to introduce him to my family. That same day, his sister planned a dinner party without telling him and invited people over. Luckily, he left early and came to my party and met my family. They loved him.
Problem is, I havent met his family yet. I have met his nephew and his best friend but not his parents or older sisters (one of them lives in Arizona).
Should I be worried that I havent met his family yet?
Everything is fine and we still communicate while hes in Germany. It just bothers me that he hasnt made that step.
It sounds like there wasn't time to meet his family. It also sounds like he's not willing to put you first, and stand up to his sister when she deliberately tries to monopolize his time. He'll need to develop a backbone when the time comes for you two to see more of each other and, if all goes well, settle down.
It sounds like there wasn't time to meet his family. It also sounds like he's not willing to put you first, and stand up to his sister when she deliberately tries to monopolize his time. He'll need to develop a backbone when the time comes for you two to see more of each other and, if all goes well, settle down.
That really bothers me about her. But my BF doesnt want to hurt anyones feelings. I will admit he's a doormat -_-
That really bothers me about her. But my BF doesnt want to hurt anyones feelings. I will admit he's a doormat -_-
Your feelings weren't hurt?
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So in 10 months of dating you've only been in the same place for 5 weeks? Honestly I don't blame his family for wanting to monopolize his time before his deployment. Of course they wanted to see him as much as they could. Makes sense to me. If my brother were to be deployed I would hang out with him every second I could and I wouldn't be very happy if he chose to spend all his time with a girlfriend he barely had spent any face time with. I think you should be patient and see how things go when you have a chance to live in the same place and see other frequently.
I have been with my BF for 10mths. It's been mostly LD since he's in the military. Let me explain how we met. We were supposed to go on a blind date but then his orders got pushed and he got deployed to Afghanistan. We still kept in touch and Id send him care packages.
When he came back in March, we met and made it "official". He was only here for two weeks then he had to go back to where he was stationed which is Delaware. (we are from the same hometown, he grew up here). Anyways we kept in touch while he was over there. He was there about 6 mths, came back for about 3wks then had to go back to a new duty station in Germany.
While he was here, One of his older sisters pretty much booked him for Family dinners, church events, asking him to take her to different places. She would make plans without asking him first. He felt bad bailing on all of them so we didnt get to spend as much time as I would have wanted. But we did spend time together. He never sees his family/friends so I support him spending as much time as he can I really love him so I decided to introduce him to my family. That same day, his sister planned a dinner party without telling him and invited people over. Luckily, he left early and came to my party and met my family. They loved him.
Problem is, I havent met his family yet. I have met his nephew and his best friend but not his parents or older sisters (one of them lives in Arizona).
Should I be worried that I havent met his family yet?
Everything is fine and we still communicate while hes in Germany. It just bothers me that he hasnt made that step.
Yes, it seems like you are overreacting. Sounds like you're really still in the dating phase. Even though it has been ten months, those ten months have not been with you. So, it doesn't count. You're definitely overreacting.
The next time he is home he really needs to tell his sister that she needs to get his approval before she plans something without telling him.
The poor man is probably run ragged just trying to keep up with seeing everyone.
I understand he is deployed, I understand they want to see him however, they need to understand that he does have a life outside of them, he does have friends, he does have a girlfriend and there should be some boundries set in place.
It is a hard balance when it comes to those who are gone more than they are home and some feelings are going to get bruised along the way a wee bit. There just has to be some understanding on the side of his family and he really needs to get boundries set with his sister.
When my Brother was in the military and would come for a visit I did not monopolize his time even though I hadn't seen him for a few years. He called and stopped by when he chose to slip away from my Mother and his friends for some rest and relax time. He mainly came to my house to get some uninterrupted sleep while he was home visiting.......LOL
That really bothers me about her. But my BF doesn't want to hurt anyones feelings. I will admit he's a doormat -_-
So the total length of time the two of you have actually been in the same place was only 5 weeks altogether & you're worried about meeting his family already? The two of you have barely had time together! I personally wouldn't even be thinking about that yet. You two don't even really know each other that well. So, will he ever be back in town with you for any length of time OR is this how his next few years will be?
Another thing, he's a softie & needs to tell his sister that he has a life too & she can't be planning all these plans without telling him. Even if she told him, he needs to say NO half or most of the time.
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