Girl 1, Girl 2 or no Girl (girlfriends, married, family, sex)

[360canam]

Okay, I will try and make this brief. Girl 1 and I dated majority of 5 years withsome setbacks here and there. If it was just her and i hanging out or her and I with family we would get along great. When we fight it is about me wanting to hangout with my friends or me always being busy to attend church with her.
We broke up approx. 4 years ago and didn’t havecontact. I moved on which was very hard as I thought she was always the “one” even though we had a ton of issues. I found a girl (2) and we took things slow…she never pressured me about things and our friendship grew really strong. We eventually moved in together. We never had any issues and she would support me…and I felt it. I would however always compare the sexual passion I had with my last relationship. Everything else was great, just lacking the passion sometimes. Anyway, Girl 1 callsout of the blue and wants to work things out. She had gotten married within the year after our break up and realizedit was a big mistake. She knew I was in a relationship but wanted to try and get me back. I told her that things were good in my lifeand that I was happy. Her and I talked off and on for a short period and I told her my fears about “us”…..she seemed different and I began to believe things would be different this time. I left girl 2 with just a reason that I didn’tknow where things were going with us (which was true as I began thinking thingswould work with the ex). I felt if I never tried with girl 1 I would always regret it.

Girl 2 was shattered……I still feel bad about it. Her and I kept contact through text (which I hide from girl 1) and she eventually found out about me back with me ex. Our conversations ended for a short period with me breaking down after an extremely stressful period at work and life. The thing is she is the only one I that I can feel I can share things with without being judged. Our texts over the last couple months are always initiated by me and for a while she would always reply and carry on a conversation. I asked her to meet onceand she told me it wasn’t a good idea which it isn’t. Lately our text our just me carrying the conversation with her replies taking 10 to 15 minutes each time.

Basically I think I have these options:
Work on making things better with Girl 1, possibly seeing a counselor.
Leave girl 1 and try and reconnect with girl 2. That’s if girl 2 will take me back, how will I know?
Leave girl 1 and move on in my life alone till I am ready again

I am always afraid Girl 1 will leave me, and that things will always be temporary fixed and not last. I am 30 years old now (girl 1 – 27, girl 2 – 29). If I leave girl 1 and try and get back with girl 2…..would it be the same as before? Would she be interested in getting back?
If I left both alone and moved on with my life I would regret not trying and making it with girl 2…..she is a great catch

[Drover]

Originally Posted by 360canam

[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Okay, I will try and make this brief. Girl 1 and I dated majority of 5 years withsome setbacks here and there. If it wasjust her and i hanging out or her and I with family we would get along great. When we fight it is about me wanting to hangout with my friends or me always being busy to attend church with her.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]We broke up approx. 4 years ago and didn’t havecontact. I moved on which was very hardas I thought she was always the “one” even though we had a ton of issues. I found a girl (2) and we took things slow…shenever pressured me about things and our friendship grew really strong. We eventually moved in together. We never had any issues and she would supportme…and I felt it. I would however alwayscompare the sexual passion I had with my last relationship. Everything else was great, just lacking thepassion sometimes. Anyway, Girl 1 callsout of the blue and wants to work things out. She had gotten married within the year after our break up and realizedit was a big mistake. She knew I was ina relationship but wanted to try and get me back. I told her that things were good in my lifeand that I was happy. Her and I talkedoff and on for a short period and I told her my fears about “us”…..she seemeddifferent and I began to believe things would be different this time. I left girl 2 with just a reason that I didn’tknow where things were going with us (which was true as I began thinking thingswould work with the ex). I felt if I nevertried with girl 1 I would always regret it. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Girl 2 was shattered……I still feel bad about it. Her and I kept contact (which I hide fromgirl 1) and she eventually found out about me back with me ex. Our conversations ended for a short periodwith me breaking down after an extremely stressful period at work and life. The thing is she is the only one I that I canfeel I can share things with without being judged. Our texts over the last couple months arealways initiated by me and for a while she would always reply and carry on aconversation. I asked her to meet onceand she told me it wasn’t a good idea which it isn’t. Lately our text our just me carrying theconversation with her replies taking 10 to 15 minutes each time. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Basically I think I have these options:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Work on making things better with Girl 1, possibly seeing a counselor.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Leave girl 1 and try and reconnect with girl 2. That’s if girl 2 will take me back, how willI know?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Leave girl 1 and move on in my life alone till I am readyagain.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]I am always afraid Girl 1 will leave me, and that thingswill always be temporary fixed and not last. I am 30 years old now (girl 1 – 27, girl 2 – 29). If I leave girl 1 and try and get back withgirl 2…..would it be the same as before? Would she be interested in getting back? [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]If I left both alone and moved on with my life I wouldregret not trying and making it with girl 2…..she is a great catch[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]

Formatting fail

[NilaJones]

Please, please edit your OP to make it readable.

[NilaJones]

[SIZE=3]Basically I think I have these options:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Work on making things better with Girl 1, possibly seeing a counselor.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Leave girl 1 and try and reconnect with girl 2. That’s if girl 2 will take me back, how willI know?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Leave girl 1 and move on in my life alone till I am readyagain.[/SIZE]

I think you should break off with both of them and see the counselor on your own.

You clearly need some help. You seem to be afraid to be alone. Counselors are trained to help you heal from patterns like that. Once you get your own self straightened out, you won't have these problems in your relationships.

[akck]

Previewing before posting is recommended any time you cut and paste.

In one word, buyers remorse. Okay, that's two words. You need to drop both and see a therapist/counselor. They way you're going, no matter what you decide, you're going to think the other would have been a better option. Until you get over this, you won't be good relationship material.

[timberline742]

Please log in with your normal account and post the thread normally. No reason you need to sign up for a new name when you want to introduce a new topic.

[funymann]

Door 3!!!! Door 3!!!!

[gentlearts]

Girl one is a flake. Girl two deserves better than someone who is really not that into her.

[houstan-dan]

Cliffnotes?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using Tapatalk 2

[bulmabriefs144]

Originally Posted by 360canam

Okay, I will try and make this brief. Girl 1 and I dated majority of 5 years withsome setbacks here and there. If it was just her and i hanging out or her and I with family we would get along great. When we fight it is about me wanting to hangout with my friends or me always being busy to attend church with her.
We broke up approx. 4 years ago and didn’t havecontact. I moved on which was very hard as I thought she was always the “one” even though we had a ton of issues. I found a girl (2) and we took things slow…she never pressured me about things and our friendship grew really strong. We eventually moved in together. We never had any issues and she would support me…and I felt it. I would however always compare the sexual passion I had with my last relationship. Everything else was great, just lacking the passion sometimes. Anyway, Girl 1 callsout of the blue and wants to work things out. She had gotten married within the year after our break up and realizedit was a big mistake. She knew I was in a relationship but wanted to try and get me back. I told her that things were good in my lifeand that I was happy. Her and I talked off and on for a short period and I told her my fears about “us”…..she seemed different and I began to believe things would be different this time. I left girl 2 with just a reason that I didn’tknow where things were going with us (which was true as I began thinking thingswould work with the ex). I felt if I never tried with girl 1 I would always regret it.

Girl 2 was shattered……I still feel bad about it. Her and I kept contact through text (which I hide from girl 1) and she eventually found out about me back with me ex. Our conversations ended for a short period with me breaking down after an extremely stressful period at work and life. The thing is she is the only one I that I can feel I can share things with without being judged. Our texts over the last couple months are always initiated by me and for a while she would always reply and carry on a conversation. I asked her to meet onceand she told me it wasn’t a good idea which it isn’t. Lately our text our just me carrying the conversation with her replies taking 10 to 15 minutes each time.

Basically I think I have these options:
Work on making things better with Girl 1, possibly seeing a counselor.
Leave girl 1 and try and reconnect with girl 2. That’s if girl 2 will take me back, how will I know?
Leave girl 1 and move on in my life alone till I am ready again

I am always afraid Girl 1 will leave me, and that things will always be temporary fixed and not last. I am 30 years old now (girl 1 – 27, girl 2 – 29). If I leave girl 1 and try and get back with girl 2…..would it be the same as before? Would she be interested in getting back?
If I left both alone and moved on with my life I would regret not trying and making it with girl 2…..she is a great catch

Girl 2. Girl 1 sounds like the equivalent of a guy who "drops by" when you've moved on. You know, the jerk that broke your heart, and wants to try to do it twice. Sex is overrated, the girl has emotional intimacy with you. And lemme get this straight, you ditched her cold for some former flame? One that sorta lost touch with you?

I will give name to my former "girlfriends". They started pretty late, as I was a supergeek who spent far too much time playing emulated games through much of my adolescence. I met Kelly in college, and I think it was largely one-sided as anything other than a friendship. I met Caitlin a few years back, she was sort of a geek like me who worked in a coffee shop. We had sorta incompatible schedules, though, so non-starter despite common interests (plus I found out she had a bf in Alaska). The latest one is Kira (middle name basis) who, well I talked about her in a former article, so I'm saying nothing here. Anyway, if Caitlin or Kelly suddenly came back after 3 years apiece of "sorry, you're just a friend" nonsense, I'd tell them **** no. The point is, I felt used by them, and suddenly they've changed their minds only to meddle with your happiness. Girl 1 will eventually leave you again, and you'll have broken two hearts: girl 2 and your own.

Wise up, ditch girl 1, and beg and plead girl 2, on your hands and knees. Tell her that you were between two relationships, and made a really crappy decision. Just know that she is not obligated to forgive you, and you might end up alone for awhile.