How I know its not gong to work out....those long silences. (women, kissing)
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I think I have a good early warning that a potnential relationship wont work out....longish awkward silences. I had that with a guy I was seeing about two years ago and noticed this in the car with a first date with a new guy yesterday. This usually happens while driving, but can happen in other contexts, too.
For some reason if its not going work out those silences seem awkward. Yet, if is going to work out the conversation will continue or evolve, or the silences dont seem so...well...silent. They seem more natural.
So just a thought. Wonder if anyone else had this happen or have a similar personal indicator?
I think you are about right. A mismatch in ability to communicate will start to feel awkward, as will lack of things to talk about because conversation is not "kept going."
This is a sign that you are having trouble connecting emotionally. For you all you know, it may be bothering him too. Often times people don't know how to bridge the gap, even if they want to. It does take two. To rely on the other to do all the emotional work is not only unwise and lazy, but it doesn't work.
I think I have a good early warning that a potnential relationship wont work out....longish awkward silences. I had that with a guy I was seeing about two years ago and noticed this in the car with a first date with a new guy yesterday. This usually happens while driving, but can happen in other contexts, too.
For some reason if its not going work out those silences seem awkward. Yet, if is going to work out the conversation will continue or evolve, or the silences dont seem so...well...silent. They seem more natural.
So just a thought. Wonder if anyone else had this happen or have a similar personal indicator?
That's not enough to go on. How was the rest of the date or previous communications with him? Were there awkward silences throughout the date as well? I know people who don't like to chat much while driving, especially in an area they may not know well or if they're driving to a destination that they aren't familiar with.
Well..its a long story. We were supposed to go to a nearby small town for lunch and to shop around....but the night before he was performing and fell off the stage (he was doing Cyndi Lauper, and was in heels)(I wasnt present for this).
So, get a call in the morning about this. So I ended up taking him to the ER, and spent the "date" mostly in a hospital room (turns out he broke both his wrists). Yes there were awkward (to me) silences there, too.
After he got banadaged up and released he still wanted to take a drive, so we did some country road riding to one of those fruit farm places (pardon the pun) before taking him home (he is living w. his mother, as a sort of caregive situation or something..not clear on that).
I think this will be ending pretty fast. I think there would have been awkward silences even if this wasnt such a fiasco "first date".
Although it was a hoot when he had to explain to the various medical staff how he got injured. They were totally unfazed...bedside manner did not waiver a bit...
Anyhoo...the thing is not really that but how I was sort of feeling the similar thing...the awkward silence thing...with an earlier boyfriend.
Well..its a long story. We were supposed to go to a nearby small town for lunch and to shop around....but the night before he was performing and fell off the stage (he was doing Cyndi Lauper, and was in heels)(I wasnt present for this).
So, get a call in the morning about this. So I ended up taking him to the ER, and spent the "date" mostly in a hospital room (turns out he broke both his wrists). Yes there were awkward (to me) silences there, too.
After he got banadaged up and released he still wanted to take a drive, so we did some country road riding to one of those fruit farm places (pardon the pun) before taking him home (he is living w. his mother, as a sort of caregive situation or something..not clear on that).
I think this will be ending pretty fast. I think there would have been awkward silences even if this wasnt such a fiasco "first date".
Although it was a hoot when he had to explain to the various medical staff how he got injured. They were totally unfazed...bedside manner did not waiver a bit...
Anyhoo...the thing is not really that but how I was sort of feeling the similar thing...the awkward silence thing...with an earlier boyfriend.
I'd have paid good money to see a guy perform as Cyndi Lauper!
Seems he's more interested in you than you are in him. After that fiasco he still wanted to spend the day with you. During those silent moments, have you tried initiating conversation? Is he one of those "one word answer" types? Maybe he was a little embarrassed over the whole thing? If they gave him pain meds then maybe he was just too relaxed to talk?
Sometimes the first few dates have a lot of those awkward moments but if your gut feels it then maybe it's best to just move on.
Well..its a long story. We were supposed to go to a nearby small town for lunch and to shop around....but the night before he was performing and fell off the stage (he was doing Cyndi Lauper, and was in heels)(I wasnt present for this).
So, get a call in the morning about this. So I ended up taking him to the ER, and spent the "date" mostly in a hospital room (turns out he broke both his wrists). Yes there were awkward (to me) silences there, too.
After he got banadaged up and released he still wanted to take a drive, so we did some country road riding to one of those fruit farm places (pardon the pun) before taking him home (he is living w. his mother, as a sort of caregive situation or something..not clear on that).
I think this will be ending pretty fast. I think there would have been awkward silences even if this wasnt such a fiasco "first date".
Although it was a hoot when he had to explain to the various medical staff how he got injured. They were totally unfazed...bedside manner did not waiver a bit...
Anyhoo...the thing is not really that but how I was sort of feeling the similar thing...the awkward silence thing...with an earlier boyfriend.
I think he's having a rough time in life but likes you.
Well..its a long story. We were supposed to go to a nearby small town for lunch and to shop around....but the night before he was performing and fell off the stage (he was doing Cyndi Lauper, and was in heels)(I wasnt present for this).
So, get a call in the morning about this. So I ended up taking him to the ER, and spent the "date" mostly in a hospital room (turns out he broke both his wrists). Yes there were awkward (to me) silences there, too.
After he got banadaged up and released he still wanted to take a drive, so we did some country road riding to one of those fruit farm places (pardon the pun) before taking him home (he is living w. his mother, as a sort of caregive situation or something..not clear on that).
I think this will be ending pretty fast. I think there would have been awkward silences even if this wasnt such a fiasco "first date".
Although it was a hoot when he had to explain to the various medical staff how he got injured. They were totally unfazed...bedside manner did not waiver a bit...
Anyhoo...the thing is not really that but how I was sort of feeling the similar thing...the awkward silence thing...with an earlier boyfriend.
Well..its a long story. We were supposed to go to a nearby small town for lunch and to shop around....but the night before he was performing and fell off the stage (he was doing Cyndi Lauper, and was in heels)(I wasnt present for this).
So, get a call in the morning about this. So I ended up taking him to the ER, and spent the "date" mostly in a hospital room (turns out he broke both his wrists). Yes there were awkward (to me) silences there, too.
After he got banadaged up and released he still wanted to take a drive, so we did some country road riding to one of those fruit farm places (pardon the pun) before taking him home (he is living w. his mother, as a sort of caregive situation or something..not clear on that).
I think this will be ending pretty fast. I think there would have been awkward silences even if this wasnt such a fiasco "first date".
Although it was a hoot when he had to explain to the various medical staff how he got injured. They were totally unfazed...bedside manner did not waiver a bit...
Anyhoo...the thing is not really that but how I was sort of feeling the similar thing...the awkward silence thing...with an earlier boyfriend.
Now THIS is a story.
And considering the situation, I would guess the silences may be due to him falling down, being in pain, breaking his wrists, and probably being extremely tired.
I doubt it has anything at all to do with the OP, or the date even.
He was likely physically and mentally drained. It surprises me that the OP, or anyone would not consider this.
During those silent moments, have you tried initiating conversation? Is he one of those "one word answer" types?
Yes, I did, and it was getting tiring for me. Once he was talking he was/is actually pretty talkative, not a one-word answer person (this would not have got this far if he was).
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Maybe he was a little embarrassed over the whole thing?
He did say that, but i told him "stuff happens"....
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He was likely physically and mentally drained. It surprises me that the OP, or anyone would not consider this.
Yes, this is a good point, which in itself points to bad match...that he needs someone more considerate and not so self-centered.
I was suprised that he still wanted to take a ride...he was on ibuprofin or something..that he had at home...he wasn't on meds from the hospital...the medical people wanted him on something stronger, but he was familiar with those meds, didnt like the affects of what they wanted to give him...one of the nurses said he must have a high pain tolerance.
I don't really know ths guy that well, and did learn a lot on "date".
Learned enough to know I need to nip this in the bud (follow my gut instinct as has been said), but need to do it after he gets his surgery and is in recovery. "Now" is not the time.
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