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Sleeping with an ex that you once had a serious, loving relationship with, but break up and after a while time goes by and then you start sleeping together, casually, dating in a way.
Is this a smart idea.
there must be boundaries, good communication? but how if there isnt any?
this is what i am facing right now, this kinda unattachted, unemotional, but also romantically, deep and passionate sex?
It depends on whether you're using him for sexual gratification without any strings attached, or you're possibly opening up your heart to loving him, and making love to him again.
1) If it's no strings attached, I would say it's a dangerous tightrope your walking on. If you guys are not together anymore, it's time to move on. Don't use him as a crutch. You don't want to give him the wrong idea and lead him on, and you ALSO don't want to become the doormat to his sexual needs if he has no interest in keeping a relationship with you, rather, just... fancies a tumble when it's convenient. Neither of those choices sounds very healthy.
2) If you're opening your heart back up to him emotionally, then get rid of the sex SO YOU CAN THINK CLEARLY WITHOUT your hormones in the way, and sit down and think out why it didnt work out in the first place, and how you're preparing on tackling or fixing the problems now. If none of that is any interest to you, then it's just plain casual sex.
I've replied and erased this response 3 times. So I can completely understand what you're going through and what a delima you're in. However, I keep changing my mind as I'm writing, so...who knows.
I think it's very hard for a woman to have unattached sex under any conditions. Usually the women who do are in denial about what it means to them.
Picture this. Your ex is sleeping with you, but he's also dating a few other women and sleeping with one of them as well. If fact, she's coming over again tonight.
As a male I would vote thats its a great idea. If nothing else get "one for the road."
Ha ha, I would give you rep points for the pure humor, but I have apparently given too much.
I guess you would - both - have to have very strong "ego identities" or something like that (trust me, I know little or no psychology). Some people can do this, some can't; in this case, you are assuming that **two** people can do this without getting confused.
most os the exes I know have done it, but they all act like it's something unusual. My observation is it's more the rule than the exception.
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If nothing else get "one for the road."
