Ran Into An Old Crush (dating, boyfriend, long distance, how to)

[chrisprescott29]

Alright, this is a long story, but I need someone to answer this question. I apologize ahead of time to anyone reading this. Anyways, this girl and I met through some mutual friends. We go to the same college, and we actually realized we were in one of the same classes after the first weekend that we met, so I saw her all week and every weekend for like 2 months. I've honestly never had more in common with a girl ever. Our personalities are even a lot alike. We met about a year ago. She had a long distance boyfriend who she had been dating for about 2 years. We started off as just friends for the first 2 months then we got to know each other really well and I could tell there was something there. The more that we got to know each other, the more it seemed that her and her boyfriend were drifting apart. I invited her to one of the big parties at our house. She said she couldn't come because she had a huge exam Monday she needed to study for (Which was true. I know kids who studied for 40 hours for that exam).

She ended up randomly showing up a little later. Walks in, first thing she says when she walked in was directed at my friend by the door, and was "Where's Chris?" She then bolts to come find me. Really excited to see me, said she needed to stop studying for the night. We basically were together the entire night. I don't really remember either of us talking to anyone else. We eventually start grinding on the dance floor, then the cops show up like 15 minutes later. She leaves, I call her to make sure she's okay and walk her home. We get to her place, she says, "Are you hungry?" I go, "Yeah, a little bit". Then she invited me up to her place and says, "I don't really know why I invited you up here. I don't even have any food", then laughs. She says she needs help taking off her boots, so I help her and look up, and I see her give this facial expression as if she just realized, "Oh crap, I really shouldn't be doing this", then she starts saying some things that gave me a weird vibe. So I say that I have to go and leave because I felt awkward. 2 days later, I see her in class, and we talked about the night, but never mentioned what happened at her apartment.

A few days later, she invited me to go out to a bar with her friends. I go, we danced, had a good time, bla bla bla, and she walked home with her friends. Then, 2 days later, she broke up with her boyfriend. She comes in to class and looks like crap. I comfort her a little bit but changed the subject because I didn't want to become the shoulder to cry on. Everything was normal for the next week. We talked, hung out, bla bla bla, then she completely changed. Idk what happened but she was acting completely different than before. It started to get better after like 3 weeks, but the semester ended and I figured that that was that. Flash forward two months, we haven't spoken at all. She randomly sees me at a restaurant, texts me, says how much she missed me, bla bla bla. I then responded, "Well, whose fault was that?" and she didn't respond. She's very stubborn in that she will never admit she's wrong so I guarantee it made her mad that I pointed out that she messed up.

Flash forward another week, we haven't talked since she texted me. We were both going to a party that a mutual friend was having. My friends showed up like a half hour before I did. She goes up to 6 different friends of mine that were there, freaking out, asking where I was, when I was getting there, bla bla bla. I get there, and she literally attacked me. Like jumped on top of me and started screaming and stuff. We catch up for like 3 minutes, then she abruptly just leaves with her friends. I'm extremely confused at this point. I basically stopped talking to her again because I hate girls who play games. She tried to re-establish contact like 2 or 3 times after that but I didn't want to deal with it.

Flash forward to about 2 weeks ago. We haven't talked in like 6 months and I run in to her again. She freaks out like she always does when she seems me, hugs me, and we start catching up. Literally the third thing that came out of her mouth was "What are you doing this weekend?" I respond with "I don't know" and changed the subject. We talk for a few more minutes, then out of nowhere, she says, "Remember last Halloween?" then smiles. At this point, I have no idea what was going on. We haven't spoken about what happened that night since like 2 days after it happened. I said, "Yeah, it was fun" then smiled back. She then says, "I'll text you this weekend. We should hang out", and we say good bye. She didn't text me and we haven't spoken since it happened. My question is: What is this girls' deal? She makes no sense. I know that she isn't involved with anyone right now because one of my good girl friends is friends with her. I also have seen her around her other guy friends and she doesn't act the same around them as she does towards me. I can tell that there is something there but she's being too difficult. One of my friends thinks that she wanted me to text her after she didn't text me to prove that I still cared about her because I had basically cut off all contact with her for like 6 months. Does anyone else have any insight?

[srjth]

Kudos to you for shutting down games. You teach people how to treat you. She may like you but wants to play games, they think it makes things exciting. If I were you, I'd wait for her to contact you, then ask her if she's ready to date and not play games. She will answer directly if she's ready and say yes. If she's not ready, she will not answer or start a stupid convoluted argument in an attempt to get you on the hook.

[Adhom]

She's just not that into you.

[chrisprescott29]

Originally Posted by Adhom

She's just not that into you.

You're actually the only person who has said this haha. Everyone I've told about it (including my friend who is also friends with her) thinks that she's always liked me. But, nobody has any idea why she's being so hot and cold.