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I don't date often at all, but if I meet an interesting guy, I will talk to him casually when the opportunity is there and if he seems nice, smart and interested, we exchange numbers and typically, it starts with cute texts for a few days.
Here is where I am completely mystified: They don't call. Yes, I know men are more prone to phone-shyness but how else do they expect to get to know someone? In all seriousness, one guy I met, after a week of only texts, I actually mentioned how I prefer calls to texts, and I guess he decided that was too much effort and never heard from him again (yay).
If I were the guy, I would rather call, set a time to get together and take things from there, because it is natural to desire to see someone we found attractive and fun to talk to...at least that is how dating used to be...
There isn't enough conversation had in person or via text to determine genuine like or dislike. So, rejection being somewhat of a possibility - and that's OK - here are my other ideas on why this happens:
a) they aren't really single
b) they are lazy
c) there are just that many women they have to choose from that are just throwing themselves at them
Strange to feel like I am asking a whole lot - OMG a phone call! Noooooooooooooo This trend seems to have taken over in the past few years and I just wonder why.
My preference is to forget any guy who can't manage to call at some point, and personally, I think a week is too long to go with text only if you were truly interested.
It's completely mysterious to me what the thought process is here, except a guy friend said that men being "nice" to women is now seen as "weak" and that chivalry is dead
And...no, I don't blow up their phones, I keep it on the level they text (ex. if it's have a beautiful day, I would reply with something nice & simple also but no other texts). If I take the lead, I'll never know if he is genuinely interested, so I try to let things happen at their own pace.
However, if the pace is like watching paint dry, naturally, I have now lost interest.
Just curious on anyone's opinion and similar experiences...thanks
I hate both. I prefer meeting face to face ASAP as in right away even same day. Oh nvm. I thought this is an online meet. So you met them and exchange numbers. I still prefer knowing them by meeting rather than phone/text - I think it's a waste of time.
Texting all the time is just lazy. I am more likely to date a guy who actually calls some of the time. The smart guys these days know to call if they are interested.
I don't date often at all, but if I meet an interesting guy, I will talk to him casually when the opportunity is there and if he seems nice, smart and interested, we exchange numbers and typically, it starts with cute texts for a few days.
Here is where I am completely mystified: They don't call. Yes, I know men are more prone to phone-shyness but how else do they expect to get to know someone? In all seriousness, one guy I met, after a week of only texts, I actually mentioned how I prefer calls to texts, and I guess he decided that was too much effort and never heard from him again (yay).
If I were the guy, I would rather call, set a time to get together and take things from there, because it is natural to desire to see someone we found attractive and fun to talk to...at least that is how dating used to be...
There isn't enough conversation had in person or via text to determine genuine like or dislike. So, rejection being somewhat of a possibility - and that's OK - here are my other ideas on why this happens:
a) they aren't really single
b) they are lazy
c) there are just that many women they have to choose from that are just throwing themselves at them
Strange to feel like I am asking a whole lot - OMG a phone call! Noooooooooooooo This trend seems to have taken over in the past few years and I just wonder why.
My preference is to forget any guy who can't manage to call at some point, and personally, I think a week is too long to go with text only if you were truly interested.
It's completely mysterious to me what the thought process is here, except a guy friend said that men being "nice" to women is now seen as "weak" and that chivalry is dead
And...no, I don't blow up their phones, I keep it on the level they text (ex. if it's have a beautiful day, I would reply with something nice & simple also but no other texts). If I take the lead, I'll never know if he is genuinely interested, so I try to let things happen at their own pace.
However, if the pace is like watching paint dry, naturally, I have now lost interest.
Just curious on anyone's opinion and similar experiences...thanks
I couldn't have summed up my feelings and reactions to this phenom any better.
I was told that it's an age thing but then I noticed that men my age and older do the same thing. When I asked them why they do it too they said its what all the young people do and that I should get with the times, as if two people who are conversing don't make their own decisions. I agree with your list of reasons a,b, or c.
Texting all the time is just lazy. I am more likely to date a guy who actually calls some of the time. The smart guys these days know to call if they are interested.
I agree with this. Although I've never been in the situation of someone only wanting to text, when I met my SO, he wasn't a much of Facebook user, and he didn't like talking on the phone. But he found me on FB via our mutual friend's FB page, and from there we exchanged #s and he called me that night and we talked for three hours. He still uses FB only once or twice a year, and still hates talking on the phone, but he did both as it was worth the effort because he wanted a relationship.
It seems to me that if I take the lead, then I'm going to be "needy/insecure/clingy/desperate" but if I don't, then these so-called men tend to take it as rejection maybe, I don't know. I am so not a game player and have tried to be discerning in choosing men who I would feel comfortable with (i.e. they seem genuinely nice, kind and smart and their is some flirting back and forth) and doing my damndest to avoid hit-it & quit-it players.
These are men I've either met through friends or at local places over the course of time - I loathe online dating, so haven't done it.
Much more to learn from personal interaction, but maybe this is what these kind of men are afraid of...
To "burgler"...so even if you really liked someone, you won't call, even if that is how they'd prefer to communicate before meeting you? How does texting and no calling ever lead to a relationship? I'll have to re-read your post if I misunderstood but please help to explain.
Someday, I hope to meet a confident man, single who actually asks for number, calls me and takes me on a real date (simple is fine). That's going to be like finding a frickin' unicorn LOL
Last edited by FreeSpirited1; 05-24-2013 at 08:53 AM..
Reason: correction
I found that its a little bit of a generational difference. When i dated women in their 20s, texting was usualy the only form of communication. When dealing with women in their 30s and 40s, it seems that they often prefer a phone conversation, or would at least expect a guy to call when asking them out etc etc. on a side note, todays nonstop phone use is really getting out of control. Ive been on dates, dinners, events where girls i was with would not put their phone down, not because they thought i wasnt interesting enough, but because its norm. I have taken a phone out of a girl ba d and threw it about 30 yards once, after telli g her twice that i find it rude for her to be glued to it, and that it was not acceptable to me.
Someday, I hope to meet a confident man, single who actually asks for number, calls me and takes me on a real date (simple is fine). That's going to be like finding a frickin' unicorn LOL
Haha! Chivalry is not dead, but it's a lot harder to find nowadays. When men ask what kind of guys I like or what I am looking for, this is on the top of the list. If a man really wants to get to know you, he will do what it takes.
I don't like talking on the phone, but I do think it's nice when a guy calls even if it's just for 5 minutes to say hi and make plans. If we really click in person then it doesn't matter to me if we don't talk on the phone much. When I did online dating I preferred to meet as soon as we both felt that we wanted to meet. Texting for weeks is pointless and sometimes you get the wrong impression of what someone is like.
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This trend seems to have taken over in the past few years and I just wonder why.
Thanks...not alone being mystified by this
