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So I've been out with a new person a few times and everything has been going fairly well and this person has been responding very positively to my advances, but I'm a little concerned I'll be for nothing in the end. What I mean is that in the past I have gone with women and they seem like they they're interested and then after a week or so the trail gets cold so now I've sort of developed a little anxiety about it. In the past, I would talk to multiple women at the same time, but I don't like doing that for a number of reasons. So anyways, I guess my anxiety about it stems from me wondering if it is a problem associated with me or the women I go after. I'm in my early 20s as are the women I talk to. I'm a very laid back and soft spoken person. My ideal environment to go out and socialize isn't in loud bars and clubs like a lot of people in my age group.
So I've been out with a new person a few times and everything has been going fairly well and this person has been responding very positively to my advances, but I'm a little concerned I'll be for nothing in the end. What I mean is that in the past I have gone with women and they seem like they they're interested and then after a week or so the trail gets cold so now I've sort of developed a little anxiety about it. In the past, I would talk to multiple women at the same time, but I don't like doing that for a number of reasons. So anyways, I guess my anxiety about it stems from me wondering if it is a problem associated with me or the women I go after. I'm in my early 20s as are the women I talk to. I'm a very laid back and soft spoken person. My ideal environment to go out and socialize isn't in loud bars and clubs like a lot of people in my age group.
Don't try so hard.
I mean if you are like, "do you like me still? I mean you didn't call. I just thought you might have changed your mind or I said or did something to you that made you upset."
Yeah... Not good.
u sound exactly like me OP, the key is finding woman that compliment u. The girls that arent interested after a week are ones that are just a bad match
Not every encounter will work out. No need to have anxiety about it. Trying to grow dates into a relationship can be a long process. However, it is nothing more than trial and error, as you and your date have to feel that spark for each other.
Just try to be normal, natural, upfront, and outgoing. Show your real self to people. That spark and chemistry will be there with someone. Be careful of the anxiety, because it can cause you to do things that may be perceivable as a turnoff. (Desperation, tentativeness, clingy-ness, etc)
Go with the flow means, do whatever it is you do every day and don't rack your brains thinking abut this chick until its more signifigant. You know why married dudes get hit on all the time? Because they don't give a f**k. You geek yourself out when you put too much thought into a girl too soon and creep her out, when ironically if yould have just been yourself you probably had a decent chance!
Thanks for the responses. Usually in the past, my problem was the opposite of being clingy: I didn't get care about getting into a relationship so I guess they would think that I wasn't interested and move on. One girl told me to call her for example and I never did. Instead I just sent her a text a week later and never heard from her again. Now I don't know how to strike that balance. And yeah relationships are trial and error, but I've gone through college without successfully hitting it off with anyone which leaves me a little worried that the problem is on my end.
If you wait a week then don't be surprised that she doesn't respond!
If you end the first date, tell her to text you when she arrived back home so you know she is safe - that keeps the communication flowing. When she texts you then, wish her a good night and how nice it was meeting her.
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