The key to the success of your long-term relationship is? (dating, wife)
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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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From all the older folks I know who have been happily married 20-plus years, the number one foundation is respect. The husband and wife have a sincere reverence for each other. If that is not there, I think you can have all the other things in the poll, but it will be like the foolish man who built the house upon the sand, it will not stand up when the waves of life come in hard.
For me there is no short list that keeps my relationship with the girls going. It is a mix of many things including sex – keeping myself and the relationship interesting and forward moving and exciting – and much more.
If I was forced to pick one thing though it would simply be “communication”. Mutual, frequent and on going communication about ourselves – our lives – our relationship and our feelings is indispensable.
There are a lot of important factors on your list. But for us, the foundation that supports all of the rest is RESPECT. Genuine respect allows for trust, healthy sex life, desire to share activities and interests, humor, and ongoing compatibility.
1. Not keeping score.
2. Knowing when to let things go.
3. Choosing the right person.
this times 1000
I also want to add
a. A person needs to be a grounded, respectful, sane individual first before entering into the dating scene
b. The ability to bond with others while keeping his or her own identiy and individuality.
From all the older folks I know who have been happily married 20-plus years, the number one foundation is respect. The husband and wife have a sincere reverence for each other. If that is not there, I think you can have all the other things in the poll, but it will be like the foolish man who built the house upon the sand, it will not stand up when the waves of life come in hard.
This. It's weird, but many people think that all the work in a relationship takes place before the wedding, not after. Hey, dating is kind of easy. Creating a life together is not so much.
So, mutual respect comes into play in a wide array of different ways. To build on what Dissenter has pointed out:
Really listening to the other person is one. It's amazing how quickly spouses will tune each other out.
Taking into account the opinion of your S/O before making a decision is another. As in, don't quit your job suddenly or run out and buy a new piece of furniture without your spouse having a say-so. Because it's their life, too.
Having a united front on a host of issues, raising children above all. Kids are ingenious in this way, for they will try to play Mom off against Dad or vice versa. As in, if Dad says 'No,' then ask 'Mom.' There have been a couple of times when MrsCPG have had to sit down and ask each other, "What do we do about Son #1?" We devise a plan, then stick to it.
Making sure that no one gets between you and your spouse. Not your parents, your siblings, or your best friend. You'd be surprised how many people, after the marriage, will want to drive a wedge between you and your spouse -- unintentionally or not.
Never saying anything hurtful to the other person, no matter how mad you are. I have never called my wife a name in our entire marriage even though, admittedly, there have been a time or two when it crossed my mind.
Remembering to put your spouse's needs ahead of your own, and putting the relationship's needs ahead of either party.
Letting go of petty resentments and jealousies.
Never forgetting that the person you married is the most important person in your life.
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there is also the possibility of multiple choice though
