Public marriage proposal with a guy you don't want to marry (movies, personal)

[CrossCountryTrip]

Do you say no to make your intentions clear and embaress him for years to come?

Or say yes, put on a show, then let him down later in private?

[*Sixy*]

The way I see it...don't ask the question unless you are prepared for the answer.

If I didn't want to marry someone I'd be truthful, whether it was in public or not.

[filihok]

Originally Posted by CrossCountryTrip

Do you say no to make your intentions clear and embaress him for years to come?

Or say yes, put on a show, then let him down later in private?

Say no.

How's it going to be less embarrassing later? He's still going to have to tell everyone.

And, really, do people do this? I can't imagine asking someone to marry me (period) without having discussed it first.

[MsAnnThrope]

If he wants to make a public display, he has to be aware it may not go as planned. Publicly.

[Chowhound]

There a few of these marriage proposals on youtube where things don't go as the wanna be groom intended.

No, I would never do this so I couldn't be publicly emasculated.....

[cpg35223]

Serves him right for making a public spectacle out of what should be a very private moment.

And, really, if you think about it, it's really a coercive practice because he's putting you on the spot in front of all those people. That's almost blackmail in my book.

[Doll Eyes]

I don't agree it has to be a 'very private moment,' although I'm not one for the jumbo-tron proposals personally. I see why some people do it in a public place/event for the memory of the whole thing....

I say always say yes in the moment, to save him humiliation and then say no later. And the obvious answer as to 'how' that's going to save him humiliation later, he's going to have to tell people he knows and not millions on national television or whatever. He can basically say anything: it didn't work out, we decided not to do it after all, etc. Also it won't get posted on Youtube if done in the manner I suggested.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by CrossCountryTrip

Do you say no to make your intentions clear and embaress him for years to come?

Or say yes, put on a show, then let him down later in private?

The only way to soften it would be to make a big fuss about how sweet his proposal/display is, and then ask if you can think about it, or say something like, "Give me until tomorrow to give you the answer", and then when you're in private, tell him the truth.

The big public scene pretty much only works in the movies, or unless there's been some prior discussion.

[Yellow Jacket]

Whenever I go to an event or a place and there is a public marriage proposal. I hope she says no for his sake.

[North Beach Person]

If you're anticipating this and the answer isn't going to be yes there are some serious communication and expectation issues.