Women holding the door open for men... (date, realize, wife)
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Men, does it bother you/make you feel awkward when a woman holds the door open for you?
Sounds silly, but I had a situation today that got a bit awkward.
I was going into the UPS store with my daughter and we were both carrying items. She had a tote with goods and I had a laundry basket overfilled with items. My daughter (who is 6) was at the door first and was holding it open as I came from behind. A gentleman was walking towards us with 2 large boxes where he clearly needed both arms. Basically both the gentleman and myself had our arms full, the difference was I was able to maneuver the basket to my hip to hold the door open. As I stood there holding the door, I smiled and acknowledged him to make him aware I was holding the door open for him as well. He started insisting "I'll take the door, you go in." I smiled and thanked him for his kind gesture, but insisted that he go in first being that it didn't make sense for him to walk behind me to take the door and hold it open with his back. Logistically, it just made more sense for me to hold the door open and have him walk in.
I've had these situations happen before where for one reason or another a gentleman is insisting he take the door and although I appreciate the thought and offer, in my mind it just doesn't make sense to play "pass the door."
I'm just curious to how you men feel about it? More so at that moment, because I understand that it's usually forgotten by the time you get back in the car.
Of course, that would make me feel awkward!!! Emasculated!!!
It all starts with a woman holding the door open for a man. Before I know it, I'll have women grabbing my ass, cornering me in the alley and even... j/k.
I don't really think anything of it. I mean, I know I'm good lookin. LOL!!!
(Kidding about the good looking part).
People do things for each others in some cases. Nothing to worry about in most cases.
TheImportersWife
It is nice to be nice. Manners at its best (can be a rare find these days). I wonder why you might feel that men might have a problem or feel awkward with women holding a door open for them. Maybe you yourself, being a woman, might feel awkward holding a door open for the opposite sex. Just an observation here and I am not criticising or trying to be clever. It is nice to see people helping people.
I'm asking because I've encountered men who can sometimes be insistent about the situation, even when impractical. I don't feel awkward about anything until I'm in a kind battle of words telling the gentleman "No, you go in" (always with a smile ) because it's almost more work to switch places. I can't say I've encountered the same issue with a woman.
TheImportersWife
I now see exactly what you were saying. You are right as some men can be insistent and normally end up embarassing themselves.
Well, I don't think the guy embarrassed himself in any way by trying to be polite and chivalrous. It's just a matter of practicality vs chivalry. But I do tend to feel awkward by the time we've finished our "dispute."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
It's not always about being insistent. They can snarl nasty comments, as if they're offended by your gesture.
Well, I don't think the guy embarrassed himself in any way by trying to be polite and chivalrous. It's just a matter of practicality vs chivalry. But I do tend to feel awkward by the time we've finished our "dispute."
I can't say I've ever encountered this. Have you?
Yes. By college-age guys (when I was in college), who held rigid gender roles (or so I concluded), and other conservative types.
I had something similar happen around the holidays. I was at BJ's and had just finished unloading my goods into the car and shut the trunk. The man next to me just finsihed unloading his car as well.
I said to him "here, let me get your cart for you" (he was an older guy, maybe 60's). I think I made him feel awkward because he stated "no, allow me to get yours, I insist"...so I let him. I don't think he would have offered otherwise, he seemed in a rush which is why I offered...but I guess then he felt that he had to be the gentleman and get mine instead. It was a bit awkward.
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